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Giving Positive Energyby Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) I am about to discuss something that is probably going to sound extremely obvious in writing. However, unfortunately in real life, this topic is often ignored or not considered. The topic is simple: energy. The energy we give off and present to others in the LDS singles/dating environment. Positive energy will attract, negative energy will either repel or will attract the wrong kind of person. So
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Uptight: The Obsessive Compulsive Personalityby Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) In past articles, I have written about the personality disorders I have seen create great conflict in the LDS singles scene with dating and relationships in general. Those personality disorders previously addressed have consisted of antisocial, narcissistic, borderline, and histrionic. There is one more personality disorder that I wish to discuss to also help you beware of. It is lesser known, but
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Can You Grow to Be Attracted to Someone?by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) In many LDS singles scenes, friendships and connections are common. Romantic relationship, less so. Romantic attraction is a mysterious mixture of physical appeal, personality, and other intangibles. All of these factors taken together add up to feeling like “more than friends”. A common frustration in singles scenes occurs when a person theoretically or practically “seems like” they would be a good
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Appreciating the Opposite Sexby Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) Today, the media is more present and prevalent in our lives today: TV, internet, radio, social media, 24/7 news coverage and talk shows, etc. In the digital and internet age, there is no end to the media and public opinion. Unfortunately, much of the media has found over the years that it will increase viewers/listeners/readers/ratings by instilling some combination of the following three negative
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Inspiration or Hormones?by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) One of the challenges of single LDS dating life is determining if the partner you are dating is indeed, a good person to commit to, which can make dating a stressful time at points. Determining along the way if a relationship is good and healthy enough to proceed with to the next level can be daunting. Questions like, “should I date this person exclusively?”, “should I get engaged to this person?”
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Relationship Advice: Where to Go (and Not Go)by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) In the dating world—both as LDS and non-LDS singles, it is common and often good to look for new, quality relationship advice: what to do, what not to do, who to date, who not to date, how to proceed and progress, etc. Getting an outside opinion and outside information can be a smart thing. Otherwise if we keep simply trusting our own judgement and choosing the same kinds of people and going about
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When Traditional Husband and Wife Roles Aren’t Possibleby Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) The Lord in his wisdom created man and woman with different thoughts, feelings, instincts, and roles. From the beginning, man and woman, husband and wife were created and assigned the following roles: Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee. And unto
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Trying Too Hardby Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) A good rule of thumb in life: the problems in life tend to occur at the extremes. In dating and searching for an eternal companion, that can equate to trying too hard to find a spouse or not trying hard enough. But what does it mean to “try too hard”? It simply means when with a potential new love interest, you make notably more efforts than the other person: giving significantly more time, energy
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Getting Ready for Another Relationshipby Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) Almost all LDS singles have had their heart broken at least once before. Divorce, failed engagement, or just regular breakups result in different levels of pain, frustration, and emotional scars. Until and unless a relationship is forever, the rest…won't be. Resulting from such pain involves a natural and understandable phenomenon that I call the "self protect" syndrome. This refers to part inside
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Feminism Versus Masculinityby Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) In 1995, the First Presidency released The Family: A Proclamation to the World, which included the following: All human beings—male and female—are created in the image of God. Each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and, as such, each has a divine nature and destiny. Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and
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Rescue, Fix, and Save: White Knightsby Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) Cinderella. Snow White. Sleeping Beauty. Other classic Disney princesses. What do they all have in common? They were all rescued and saved from their unhealthy, unhappy existence from a man all too eager and willing to save them. A prince. A knight on a white horse. A white knight coming in to make it all better. Cinderella was saved from her wicked stepmother. Snow White was saved from a jealous
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When to Date Again When You Have Kidsby Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) In the "LDS Dating" Facebook group that I help moderate, I recently received a private message from a group member asking for some direction. Apparently, her ex husband was wanting to date again, but their teenager wasn't wanting him to and wasn't ready. Technically, whether her ex husband decides to date again or not under her control. However, the general topic is worth more attention: after
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Flirting Skillsy Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) In our LDS community, flirting takes on an important role in the development of relationships, dating, and the path towards marriage. Because we have scriptural edicts in our church to "love one another", "love your neighbor", and even "love your enemies", LDS singles circles tend to have a lot of general "friendships" and "friend-like interactions". At the least minimally "civil" associations tend to
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Don't Be a Creeper, Be a Keeperby Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) A "creeper", according to the Urban Dictionary, is basically "a male whose uncertain behavior or looming mysterious presence makes regular folks, especially women, unsettled". The creeper designation has traditionally been applied to older men staring or ogling at notably younger girls or women, implying they are potential dangerous or even pedophiles. However, the term today has taken on a more
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To Disclose or Not to Disclose?by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) Most LDS singles come to a new relationship having had some kind of notable challenge, pain, trauma, or trouble in life. Some may have involved their own poor choices, whereas other troubles involved being victimized by the abusive or neglectful treatment of others. Such choices may have involved abuse, sexual indiscretions, or addictions. Still others have simply had problems or struggles that
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Red Light Signals-- When They Aren't Interestedby Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) One of the hardest parts of the dating experience is noticing and concluding that someone you are interested is not interested in you in return. Part of the time it is obvious. Especially when the other person just comes out and says it to you: "I am not interested in you", "I don't think we are a match", "I don't feel the chemistry together", "I feel we are more friends", "I just don't feel the
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