Dating

Handling Rejection

Handling Rejection

One of the hardest aspects of the dating world is when you face rejection: someone deciding they are not interested in and do not want to date you (or no longer want to date you). It is very easy to take the rejection hard and take it personally. We often wonder why we were truly rejected. Because often the one rejected either gives no explanation (they “ghost” you), gives a false explanation, or only gives a partial explanation (where there is “more to the story”). Occasionally the rejecting

2020-08-03 Randy Gilchrist Dating
Are They Telling the Truth?

Are They Telling the Truth?

One big challenge in the dating world: figuring out if you can you trust that a person you are getting to know is telling the truth about themselves. To be fair, everyone is under a decent amount of pressure to put a good foot forward and show their best side in the dating arena. Unfortunately, deception, exaggeration, and straight out lying are common methods used in an attempt to impress others in the effort to find a new relationship. The problem is that if a potential dating partner is

2020-07-20 Randy Gilchrist Dating, Communication, Psychological health
Comparing Looks

Comparing Looks

Whether you are male or female, looking good increases your dating stock immensely. Why? Because looking good increases romance, physical attraction, and sexual chemistry. The more people that are attracted to someone’s looks, the greater the options they will have to pick from in the dating pool. In short, looking good is important in the dating world. It is natural, instinctive, an important part of spark, connection, and giving/receiving affection. To deny the important role of looks in a

2020-06-29 Randy Gilchrist Understanding men, Understanding women, Dating, Psychological health
Overcoming a Negative Attitude

Overcoming a Negative Attitude

After dating and relationship problems or failures, it is understandable to develop a negative attitude towards relationships and the opposite sex. The self-protective part of us inside can promote a cynical, avoidant attitude to lessen the chance of more pain and disappointment. The problem is that when we develop a negative attitude like this, we also lose out on the chance for relationship opportunities and success. Loneliness becomes inevitable. Plus, who wants to feel negative, angry, or

2020-06-07 Randy Gilchrist Dating, Healthy relationships
Common Complaints from Women

Common Complaints from Women

In last week’s article I made a list of some of the most common complaints from single men about women, heard over and over again during my years of doing therapy as a clinical psychologist. Most of these complaints were made by single male members of the church, and some were also common complaints made by non-member men as well. To show that I am willing to give equal time to both sides, I have also decided to make a list here showing the most common complaints single female members of the

2020-05-04 Randy Gilchrist Understanding women, Dating
Common Complaints from Men

Common Complaints from Men

This is my 200th short article for LDS Dimension and other associated sites on Facebook. Over the past 4+ years I have written these weekly articles on many different topics and focuses of special interest for single members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. As I was considering what topic to write on for this week, I remembered a recent comment made in a men’s Facebook group I was helping with. He basically said he didn’t feel that women even wanted to hear what single men’s

2020-04-27 Randy Gilchrist Understanding men, Dating
Admiring the Opposite Sex

Admiring the Opposite Sex

In the 21st century the media and society often pit men and women against each other, as well as blur and confuse ideas about gender and gender differences. As a result, it is common for men and women today to possess an antagonism towards the opposite sex, as well as a confusion about gender and gender roles/traits. What effect does this antagonism and confusion have on dating and relationships? In short, a bad effect: it is very difficult to connect with and maintain a relationship with a

2020-04-06 Randy Gilchrist Understanding men, Understanding women, Dating
Dating Quotes by General Authorities

Dating Quotes by General Authorities

Whether you are a young adult, a mid-single, or a senior in the church dating scene, the advice from general authorities is for all. As members we can be served to remember the following scripture: “…whether by mine own voice or by the voice of my servants, it is the same.” (Doctrine & Covenants 1:38). The main servants of the Lord are what we now refer to as the “general authorities”. In general conference talks, general authorities have spoken numerous useful and helpful ideas, thoughts, and

2020-03-09 Randy Gilchrist Dating, Healthy relationships, Spirituality
Dating Conversations

Dating Conversations

One of the biggest determiners of whether or not an initial date goes well or not is how the conversation goes. People come home from a date deciding whether or not to have additional dates or not. A lot of this relates to how the talking and listening went, both directions. If it went well, there is a far greater chance more additional dates will happen and that a relationship will develop. If not—if the conversation was flat or contentious, the first date will likely be the last date. So

2020-02-18 Randy Gilchrist Dating
Dating Members Only

Dating Members Only

In the singles scene as members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, finding good members to date and eventually marry can be challenging. In addition to the normal challenges of finding a nice, decent, respectable person that is marriage material, there is an added challenge as well. There is also the difficulty of finding a fellow member of the church that, ideally is of decent church standing and activity that can eventually take you to the temple. Because of these double

2020-02-10 Randy Gilchrist Dating
Finding Mutual Interests

Finding Mutual Interests

In any dating relationship (and potential future marriage), a challenge exists every time: dealing with differences. One of the biggest challenges involves how a couple deals with different or discrepant interests and hobbies. Genders, personalities, and backgrounds differ, thus adding to differences with what each person in the relationship likes doing for fun and fulfillment. If this issue is not navigated well, frustration, contention, and resentment may develop, as well as distance and

2020-02-03 Randy Gilchrist Dating
Deciding When Dating Multiple People

Deciding When Dating Multiple People

One suggestion most singles have heard is the idea to “date multiple people at the same time” to keep your options open and give the most opportunities for relationship success. And as relationships are brand new, dating more than 1 person at a time is common, understandable, perhaps desirable (depending on your preferences). However, it doesn’t take very long for a pressure and an urgency to kick in to choose the one main person to date, while letting the other(s) go. It soon becomes

2020-01-19 Randy Gilchrist Dating
Dating a Widow?

Dating a Widow?

A sensitive and unique area for single members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints involves the dating and marriage situation of widows. Basically, we understand as members that if a man is a widow (sometimes called a “widower”) and he was sealed in the temple to his first wife, he can be sealed to another 2nd wife as well after the first has passed away. However, this is different for women. When a woman has been sealed to her first husband in the temple and he passes away, she

2019-12-02 Randy Gilchrist Dating
Looks and Dating

Looks and Dating

We read in the well-known scripture the following: “…for the Lord seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart.” –I Samuel 16:7. This scripture has implications for singles and dating. Some will look and conclude that these words confirm that “looks don’t matter” or that “looks shouldn’t matter”. Others will look at this scripture and conclude the exact opposite: if “man” (people) are naturally wired to look at and be attracted to the

2019-11-03 Randy Gilchrist Dating, Healthy relationships, Communication, Health and fitness
Signs of Online Dating Scammers

Signs of Online Dating Scammers

Online dating in the 2000s has really come into its own. Every year online dating sites and apps grow in popularity and create successful real-life matches. What used to be looked at as “something only desperate people did” has changed. As people’s busy schedules require convenience and flexibility, online dating has filled the need. In addition, the overall popularity of online dating has increased the overall quantity and selection of total dating partners. However, along with the increased

2019-10-21 Randy Gilchrist Dating
Having an Attractive Attitude

Having an Attractive Attitude

In the dating world, impressions go a long way to determine if a person is given a dating opportunity and if so, how long the relationship will last. Besides physical looks, the attitude a person demonstrates is a close second factor creating an impression of what a relationship and life would be like with another. And people usually don’t want to be with or around a Negative Nellie or a Doug Downer. Certain attitudes attract, whereas and other attitudes repel. Common negative repelling

2019-10-14 Randy Gilchrist Dating, Healthy relationships, Communication