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Dating ConversationsOne of the biggest determiners of whether or not an initial date goes well or not is how the conversation goes. People come home from a date deciding whether or not to have additional dates or not. A lot of this relates to how the talking and listening went, both directions. If it went well, there is a far greater chance more additional dates will happen and that a relationship will develop. If not—if the conversation was flat or contentious, the first date will likely be the last date. So
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Dating Members OnlyIn the singles scene as members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, finding good members to date and eventually marry can be challenging. In addition to the normal challenges of finding a nice, decent, respectable person that is marriage material, there is an added challenge as well. There is also the difficulty of finding a fellow member of the church that, ideally is of decent church standing and activity that can eventually take you to the temple. Because of these double
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Finding Mutual InterestsIn any dating relationship (and potential future marriage), a challenge exists every time: dealing with differences. One of the biggest challenges involves how a couple deals with different or discrepant interests and hobbies. Genders, personalities, and backgrounds differ, thus adding to differences with what each person in the relationship likes doing for fun and fulfillment. If this issue is not navigated well, frustration, contention, and resentment may develop, as well as distance and
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Deciding When Dating Multiple PeopleOne suggestion most singles have heard is the idea to “date multiple people at the same time” to keep your options open and give the most opportunities for relationship success. And as relationships are brand new, dating more than 1 person at a time is common, understandable, perhaps desirable (depending on your preferences). However, it doesn’t take very long for a pressure and an urgency to kick in to choose the one main person to date, while letting the other(s) go. It soon becomes
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Dating a Widow?A sensitive and unique area for single members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints involves the dating and marriage situation of widows. Basically, we understand as members that if a man is a widow (sometimes called a “widower”) and he was sealed in the temple to his first wife, he can be sealed to another 2nd wife as well after the first has passed away. However, this is different for women. When a woman has been sealed to her first husband in the temple and he passes away, she
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Looks and DatingWe read in the well-known scripture the following: “…for the Lord seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart.” –I Samuel 16:7. This scripture has implications for singles and dating. Some will look and conclude that these words confirm that “looks don’t matter” or that “looks shouldn’t matter”. Others will look at this scripture and conclude the exact opposite: if “man” (people) are naturally wired to look at and be attracted to the
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Signs of Online Dating ScammersOnline dating in the 2000s has really come into its own. Every year online dating sites and apps grow in popularity and create successful real-life matches. What used to be looked at as “something only desperate people did” has changed. As people’s busy schedules require convenience and flexibility, online dating has filled the need. In addition, the overall popularity of online dating has increased the overall quantity and selection of total dating partners. However, along with the increased
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Having an Attractive AttitudeIn the dating world, impressions go a long way to determine if a person is given a dating opportunity and if so, how long the relationship will last. Besides physical looks, the attitude a person demonstrates is a close second factor creating an impression of what a relationship and life would be like with another. And people usually don’t want to be with or around a Negative Nellie or a Doug Downer. Certain attitudes attract, whereas and other attitudes repel. Common negative repelling
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Natural Versus Healthy Matches in DatingI have heard it wisely said that most of what makes for a healthy, happy, lasting relationship comes with the pick of partner. Maybe, 80%. The rest of the 20% comes from relationship nurturing and efforts from there. So, pick well, nurture well… Healthy vs Natural Matches: If we are strongly attracted to and drawn towards a potential dating and relationship partner, isn’t that a good sign? Maybe, maybe not. Attraction alone is a good start—we need to be attracted to our partner to have the
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Identifying Guys that are PlayersIn the dating world, both in and out of the church, it can often be difficult distinguish between guys that are “players” and guys that are genuine good, nice, decent guys. Players are usually referred to as a male, although surely women can be “players” too. But for this article, I will mainly refer to guys as the players. In the Urban Dictionary, a player is defined as follows: “Usually a boy who makes you feel special. He makes you feel like you are the only girl in his life, when really
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When Others WarnOne common occurrence that can be experienced as you get to know someone or begin dating is that some current or former friend, family member, or coworker of your partner has some warning for you about them. “Um, I just thought that you might like to know that he/she is/was/did______ (in the past)”, or “you might want to think twice about that person because_____”. Perhaps you are warned that your partner is abusive, neglectful, poor with money, had a bad temper, whatever. The advice may be to
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Agency and MarriageI've seen that smile somewhere before I've heard your voice before It seems like we talk like this before. Sometime, who can be certain when? But if I knew you then, It's strange I can't remember Feelings come so strong, Like we known each other oh, so long. The circle of our love is more Than just a rising sun that sets, The circle of our love, it goes forever. The circle of our love begins With now and every promised dream In God's eternal plan, it goes forever. The circle of our love
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Ghosted?Wikipedia defines “ghosting” as follows: “Ghosting is breaking off a relationship (often an intimate relationship) by stopping all communication and contact with the partner without any apparent warning or justification, as well as ignoring the partner’s attempts to reach out or communicate. The term originated in the mid-2000s. In that following decade, media reported a rise in ghosting, which has been attributed to the increasing use of social media and online dating apps.” In other words
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Developing a Sense of HumorAs a single member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, there are numerous ways you can work to increase you dating stock. You can improve your spirituality, your looks, your economic situation, your conversational skills, etc. One particular element of your social skills that can especially help your dating prospects is to develop a good sense of humor. A good sense of humor is a great way to endear yourself to the opposite sex. It helps to break the ice in socially anxious
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Physical Attractiveness: A Mixed MessageAs members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, we have been taught numerous messages about looks and physical attractiveness, often as negative or cautious messages. Namely, that looks don’t matter much, that a looks focus is overly prideful and superficial, that focusing too much on your looks is a poor priority, etc. On the other hand, being a single member of the church necessitates a focus on looks to a degree to help attract others and produce greater opportunities for
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Dealing with DifferencesIn general, the more similar couples are--with their attitudes, interests, politics, religious ideas, hobbies, and so on--the bigger the advantage they have. It becomes easier to get along, to bond, and to have agreeable and enjoyable time together. However, men and women will still be…different in many ways. We naturally think, act, and feel differently. We interpret the world differently. Such differences can potentially cause frustration, conflict, and misunderstanding. So, how do couples
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