Dating

Stop Being a Hermit and Get Out!

Stop Being a Hermit and Get Out!

by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) A hermit is a person who is a homebody that rarely leaves the house beyond going to work or the store. A hermit socializes with others little and rarely goes out on dates (if ever). A hermit has largely given up socializing with most other people in general. They often possess social anxiety and/or social pessimism. Do you know a person like this? Are you a person like this? If so, the isolation and

2016-07-18 Randy Gilchrist Dating
Is Love Online Possible?

Is Love Online Possible?

by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) Question: I have a question Dr. Gilchrist: Is it possible to love someone who you haven't seen yet in person, but for the things he says over the phone and for the posts he does online? Answer: What a great question. Unfortunately, this is not a question that can easily be answered in a simple "yes" or "no" fashion. My short answer to this important question is, "kind of" and "to a degree", but

2016-06-25 Randy Gilchrist Dating, Healthy relationships
Body Image Challenges

Body Image Challenges

by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) Why do so many people--especially women--suffer from poor body image today? Why are so many so self-conscious about how they look? Why are so many obsessed with their supposed physical flaws, blemishes, and imperfections? Why are problems like anorexia, bulimia, and body dysmorphic disorder growing among so many girls and women, as well as some boys and men? Why is plastic surgery and endless other

2016-06-05 Randy Gilchrist Dating, Marriage preparation, Psychological health
Overcoming Dating Anxiety

Overcoming Dating Anxiety

by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) One of the most limiting and self defeating challenges in the dating world is anxiety: fears, phobias, paranoia, insecurity, worries, "what ifs", etc. Dating anxiety often results from previous relationship wounds. Maybe you grew up in a highly contentious home. Maybe your parents divorced and/or had a highly conflicted relationship. Perhaps previous dating partners (or an ex spouse) hurt you and let

2016-04-19 Randy Gilchrist Dating, Healthy relationships, Communication
Ask Dr. G--LDS Dating Q & A

Ask Dr. G--LDS Dating Q & A

by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, Licensed Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (free LDS online dating site) Wolves in Sheep's Clothing Question: Hi Dr. G: I am a divorced mother of three, divorced for 12 years. I have dated, I am LDS, and live in Utah county. Our religion in Utah is different than outside of Utah. I am exhausted. I have never met so many wolves in sheep's clothing, I don't want to give up, but how do I change this? Also, how do I identify if it's me or them? Not everything or

2016-04-15 Randy Gilchrist Dating
Looks--How Much Do They Matter?

Looks--How Much Do They Matter?

As I started this article, I was originally going to title this: Looks--How Much Should They Matter? However, I think an article based more upon the real world and how much looks actually matter would be a more useful place to start. I will probably write the other article at a later time (including other "non looks oriented attractors"). So, how much do looks tend to matter in the dating world? In short: a lot. Remember, I'm just the messenger with this, but it's the truth and you need to

2016-04-01 Randy Gilchrist Dating, Healthy relationships
How to Trust Again

How to Trust Again

In my previous article, "To Trust or Not to Trust", I gave some suggestions and recommendations on how to assess and determine how trustworthy a dating partner is. However, I fully understand that just because you might accurately determine if someone is "trustworthy", that doesn't mean you will automatically feel and act trusting of them as a result. Why not? Scars. Emotional baggage. Other pain and problems creating "trust issues". Perhaps you have been strongly hurt or disappointed in

2016-03-25 Randy Gilchrist Dating, Communication, Conflict resolution
Settling vs. Expectations

Settling vs. Expectations

A common conversation among singles in the church and the single population in general, especially when you hear about a breakup, is that person being consoled and told to “not settle”, the internet is overflowing with these memes, but what does that mean? Oftentimes people have a big laundry list of what they desire in someone else, and they consider settling to be not getting someone with that entire laundry list means they are settling. There are some things missing from this equation

2016-03-25 Shawn Gordon Dating, Healthy relationships, Communication
To Trust or Not to Trust?

To Trust or Not to Trust?

One of the most challenging aspects of both online dating relationships and relationships in general is the topic of trust. Trust, from the Webster dictionary, is defined as "belief that someone or something is reliable, good, honest, effective, etc." In relationships, trust involves believing the other will uphold essential principles and values including sexual fidelity, respectful and civil treatment, and willingness and commitment to follow through with responsibilities such as church

2016-03-24 Randy Gilchrist Dating, Healthy relationships, Marriage preparation, Communication
Letting Go of Heartbreak

Letting Go of Heartbreak

There is a challenge with online dating, and dating in general. By this point, most people have suffered some significant form of heartache and heartbreak. Sometimes we've been broken up with when we thought marriage was coming. Sometimes we had to break up with or divorce the other person because our expectations weren't met. Other times, unions of two particular people are toxic, including cycles of arguments, verbal abuse, and other emotional trauma. Infidelity ("cheating") emotionally

2016-03-14 Randy Gilchrist Dating, Healthy relationships, Psychological health
Being Friendzoned

Being Friendzoned

When getting to know someone online, over the phone, in person, how do you know when they decide they aren't romantically interested? Or, as it's commonly called today, them "friendzoning" you. Sometimes the other person will just come out and say it, usually with one of the more common cliches: "I just don't think we're a match", "I just see us as friends", "I just don't think this is going to work out", etc. Sometimes you hear this sooner, other times later. It usually hurts when you hear

2016-03-07 Randy Gilchrist Dating, Healthy relationships, Communication
Dating Advice

Dating Advice

Be precise: When writing an Internet personal ad or filling out an online dating questionnaire, be as specific as possible. Think about who you are and what makes you unusual and list both your successes and your failures. Mentions of moonlight strolls, or walks in the park are meaningless. Instead, you might say, "I'm a homebody who really loves cooking, but also likes camping." Saying, "I'm looking for someone who is not afraid of snakes, but also is not a carnivore" sets you apart as a

2015-12-16 Shawn Gordon Dating
Make the First Move

Make the First Move

Don’t play hard to get: You won’t get got. You’re out of high school now, if you are interested in someone, be it male or female, go ahead and talk to them. Ask them to dance, ask them out for a meal, or a walk. Be open to that request and take a chance. Game Playing: There are books written on “game” for guys and how to manipulate women and it is predicated on certain typical behavior in most women. One of the most common is based on the saying “women always want the shoes another woman

2015-12-16 Shawn Gordon Dating, Communication
Follow The Spirit

Follow The Spirit

All too often I see comments like this from adult singles on social media: “I’m waiting for HF to bring me my EC”. The abbreviations are “Heavenly Father” and “Eternal Companion”. This is wrong thinking for a lot of reasons, you have to be actively engaged in your own life, the Lord isn’t bringing a spouse to your door out of the blue. Let me give you some scriptural references of how you must seek out the Lord and ask, he isn’t going to bring you something unbidden, but the spirit can guide

2015-12-16 Shawn Gordon Dating, Spirituality
Using Personality Tests

Using Personality Tests

Personality tests, when shown to be valid and reliable, can offer great insights into ourselves and/or our dating partner. Interestingly, we as people often don't know ourselves as well as we might think we do. So the more we learn about ourselves and our dating partner, the more we can know what areas of concern need to be addressed and improved upon. High quality questionnaires can be useful tools in this regard, and I highly recommend them. Many problems in relationships seem to emerge

2015-12-11 Randy Gilchrist Understanding men, Understanding women, Dating, Communication
Green Light Signals - Are They Interested?

Green Light Signals - Are They Interested?

One of the sometimes exciting, sometimes frustrating things about getting to know someone in the beginning of dating is: are they really interested in me? And how interested? Both men and women can be rather coy in this regard. Three possibilities here: A) They haven't decided how interested they are in you yet. B) They have decided they are not that interested and don't want to hurt your feelings, hoping you will get the hint. C) They're interested, possibly very interested, but don't want

2015-12-11 Randy Gilchrist Dating, Communication