Dating

Developing a Positive Attitude with Dating

Developing a Positive Attitude with Dating

by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) Single and LDS? Tired of the singles scene? Tired of the meat market? Then you are not alone. Many others in your situation have similar feelings. Perhaps previous dating has been unsuccessful. Maybe you have been let down, hurt, or frustrated in the past. It could be that previous promising relationships ended poorly and left you negative and pessimistic with the dating scene. Maybe after a

2016-08-11 Randy Gilchrist Dating, Healthy relationships, Communication, Psychological health
How to use Facebook effectively to meet people

How to use Facebook effectively to meet people

My husband and founder of LDS Dimension, Shawn Gordon, and I also run a group on Facebook called LDS Dating, which provides another way to meet and interact with people. After watching and helping many people meet both here and there, we have talked about things that can help people be more successful in our Facebook group. Here is the list we put together. 1.DO get involved in conversations on posts. This allows you to see who has similar ideals as yourself and may lead to continuing

2016-08-11 Carly Gordon Dating, Healthy relationships, Communication
Is He or She Compatible?

Is He or She Compatible?

by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) Dating in the LDS community is flush with emotion. Is he or she the right one? Are we really compatible? Should we get engaged? How can I know for sure? These are critical questions. No pressure, but consider this classic general authority quote from President Gordon B. Hickley: “The Lord has ordained that we should marry, that we shall live together in love and peace and harmony.… The time will

2016-08-03 Randy Gilchrist Dating, Healthy relationships, Spirituality
Forgiving and Letting Go

Forgiving and Letting Go

Forgiveness means something a little different when we talk about spiritual forgiveness versus psychological forgiveness. Both are important in a different way. From the lds.org topics section (https://www.lds.org/topics/forgiveness?lang=eng), forgiveness is defined as follows: "To forgive is a divine attribute. It is to pardon or excuse someone from blame for an offense or misdeed. The scriptures refer to forgiveness in two ways. The Lord commands us to repent of our sins and seek His

2016-07-25 Randy Gilchrist Dating, Healthy relationships, Psychological health
Stop Being a Hermit and Get Out!

Stop Being a Hermit and Get Out!

by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) A hermit is a person who is a homebody that rarely leaves the house beyond going to work or the store. A hermit socializes with others little and rarely goes out on dates (if ever). A hermit has largely given up socializing with most other people in general. They often possess social anxiety and/or social pessimism. Do you know a person like this? Are you a person like this? If so, the isolation and

2016-07-18 Randy Gilchrist Dating
Is Love Online Possible?

Is Love Online Possible?

by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) Question: I have a question Dr. Gilchrist: Is it possible to love someone who you haven't seen yet in person, but for the things he says over the phone and for the posts he does online? Answer: What a great question. Unfortunately, this is not a question that can easily be answered in a simple "yes" or "no" fashion. My short answer to this important question is, "kind of" and "to a degree", but

2016-06-25 Randy Gilchrist Dating, Healthy relationships
Body Image Challenges

Body Image Challenges

by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) Why do so many people--especially women--suffer from poor body image today? Why are so many so self-conscious about how they look? Why are so many obsessed with their supposed physical flaws, blemishes, and imperfections? Why are problems like anorexia, bulimia, and body dysmorphic disorder growing among so many girls and women, as well as some boys and men? Why is plastic surgery and endless other

2016-06-05 Randy Gilchrist Dating, Marriage preparation, Psychological health
Overcoming Dating Anxiety

Overcoming Dating Anxiety

by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) One of the most limiting and self defeating challenges in the dating world is anxiety: fears, phobias, paranoia, insecurity, worries, "what ifs", etc. Dating anxiety often results from previous relationship wounds. Maybe you grew up in a highly contentious home. Maybe your parents divorced and/or had a highly conflicted relationship. Perhaps previous dating partners (or an ex spouse) hurt you and let

2016-04-19 Randy Gilchrist Dating, Healthy relationships, Communication
Ask Dr. G--LDS Dating Q & A

Ask Dr. G--LDS Dating Q & A

by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, Licensed Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (free LDS online dating site) Wolves in Sheep's Clothing Question: Hi Dr. G: I am a divorced mother of three, divorced for 12 years. I have dated, I am LDS, and live in Utah county. Our religion in Utah is different than outside of Utah. I am exhausted. I have never met so many wolves in sheep's clothing, I don't want to give up, but how do I change this? Also, how do I identify if it's me or them? Not everything or

2016-04-15 Randy Gilchrist Dating
Looks--How Much Do They Matter?

Looks--How Much Do They Matter?

As I started this article, I was originally going to title this: Looks--How Much Should They Matter? However, I think an article based more upon the real world and how much looks actually matter would be a more useful place to start. I will probably write the other article at a later time (including other "non looks oriented attractors"). So, how much do looks tend to matter in the dating world? In short: a lot. Remember, I'm just the messenger with this, but it's the truth and you need to

2016-04-01 Randy Gilchrist Dating, Healthy relationships
How to Trust Again

How to Trust Again

In my previous article, "To Trust or Not to Trust", I gave some suggestions and recommendations on how to assess and determine how trustworthy a dating partner is. However, I fully understand that just because you might accurately determine if someone is "trustworthy", that doesn't mean you will automatically feel and act trusting of them as a result. Why not? Scars. Emotional baggage. Other pain and problems creating "trust issues". Perhaps you have been strongly hurt or disappointed in

2016-03-25 Randy Gilchrist Dating, Communication, Conflict resolution
Settling vs. Expectations

Settling vs. Expectations

A common conversation among singles in the church and the single population in general, especially when you hear about a breakup, is that person being consoled and told to “not settle”, the internet is overflowing with these memes, but what does that mean? Oftentimes people have a big laundry list of what they desire in someone else, and they consider settling to be not getting someone with that entire laundry list means they are settling. There are some things missing from this equation

2016-03-25 Shawn Gordon Dating, Healthy relationships, Communication
To Trust or Not to Trust?

To Trust or Not to Trust?

One of the most challenging aspects of both online dating relationships and relationships in general is the topic of trust. Trust, from the Webster dictionary, is defined as "belief that someone or something is reliable, good, honest, effective, etc." In relationships, trust involves believing the other will uphold essential principles and values including sexual fidelity, respectful and civil treatment, and willingness and commitment to follow through with responsibilities such as church

2016-03-24 Randy Gilchrist Dating, Healthy relationships, Marriage preparation, Communication
Letting Go of Heartbreak

Letting Go of Heartbreak

There is a challenge with online dating, and dating in general. By this point, most people have suffered some significant form of heartache and heartbreak. Sometimes we've been broken up with when we thought marriage was coming. Sometimes we had to break up with or divorce the other person because our expectations weren't met. Other times, unions of two particular people are toxic, including cycles of arguments, verbal abuse, and other emotional trauma. Infidelity ("cheating") emotionally

2016-03-14 Randy Gilchrist Dating, Healthy relationships, Psychological health
Being Friendzoned

Being Friendzoned

When getting to know someone online, over the phone, in person, how do you know when they decide they aren't romantically interested? Or, as it's commonly called today, them "friendzoning" you. Sometimes the other person will just come out and say it, usually with one of the more common cliches: "I just don't think we're a match", "I just see us as friends", "I just don't think this is going to work out", etc. Sometimes you hear this sooner, other times later. It usually hurts when you hear

2016-03-07 Randy Gilchrist Dating, Healthy relationships, Communication
Dating Advice

Dating Advice

Be precise: When writing an Internet personal ad or filling out an online dating questionnaire, be as specific as possible. Think about who you are and what makes you unusual and list both your successes and your failures. Mentions of moonlight strolls, or walks in the park are meaningless. Instead, you might say, "I'm a homebody who really loves cooking, but also likes camping." Saying, "I'm looking for someone who is not afraid of snakes, but also is not a carnivore" sets you apart as a

2015-12-16 Shawn Gordon Dating