Dating

Physical Attractiveness: A Mixed Message

Physical Attractiveness: A Mixed Message

As members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, we have been taught numerous messages about looks and physical attractiveness, often as negative or cautious messages. Namely, that looks don’t matter much, that a looks focus is overly prideful and superficial, that focusing too much on your looks is a poor priority, etc. On the other hand, being a single member of the church necessitates a focus on looks to a degree to help attract others and produce greater opportunities for

2019-07-08 Randy Gilchrist Dating, Health and fitness
Dealing with Differences

Dealing with Differences

In general, the more similar couples are--with their attitudes, interests, politics, religious ideas, hobbies, and so on--the bigger the advantage they have. It becomes easier to get along, to bond, and to have agreeable and enjoyable time together. However, men and women will still be…different in many ways. We naturally think, act, and feel differently. We interpret the world differently. Such differences can potentially cause frustration, conflict, and misunderstanding. So, how do couples

2019-05-13 Randy Gilchrist Dating, Healthy relationships, Communication, Conflict resolution
Dating—Continuing to Try

Dating—Continuing to Try

One of the hardest things to do in life is to keep trying after past frustrations, failures, heartache, and heartbreak. This is especially true in the case of the dating world. Unreturned interest, ghosting, tough break ups, divorce and custody situations…there are many ways relationships can go badly. Understandably after such pain and disappointment, many people are tempted to give up the dating and relationships in general. Once a person feels snake bitten, it can be tough to keep trying.

2019-05-06 Randy Gilchrist Dating, Psychological health
Are You Comfortable Single?

Are You Comfortable Single?

Some of you reading this have always been single, others have been divorced, still others, widowed. Whatever you circumstance, you are most likely a single member of the church if you are reading this. How should you feel about being single? If you have a history of being in unhealthy, unhappy relationships in the past, you might understandably feel relieved, peaceful, even content. And truly, being single and alone can truly be a much better position to be in then being in an unhealthy

2019-04-01 Randy Gilchrist Dating
Online Dating Profile Tips

Online Dating Profile Tips

Today your online dating profile will go a long way to determine whether a dating prospect will consider you or not. Often, people will be turned off by your profile and either never give you a chance or they will ghost you after some brief exchanges if they don’t like what they see. Rarely will they ever let you know specifically why they lost interest. If the conversation was good but they still drop out of interacting with you, there is a decent chance the main reason was because of

2019-03-25 Randy Gilchrist Dating
Game Playing in the Dating World

Game Playing in the Dating World

A common complaint in the dating world involves love interests playing games. This can be frustrating, confusing, and upsetting. Why would a person that is interested in you and you are interested in as well choose to play games? There are several possible reasons. First of all, some people play games to draw reactions out of the other person to reveal their interest when the other’s interest is unsure or unclear. Second, some play games as revenge for perceived slights or offenses. Third

2019-03-10 Randy Gilchrist Dating, Communication
Positive Motivators to Date and Marry

Positive Motivators to Date and Marry

by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com FREE Online Dating Being members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, we know the church’s stance on marriage: that we need to do it. That we need to search it out and make it happen the best we can. There is some pressure, some guilt, some obligation underneath it all to have the ideal, traditional married family unit. To reinforce this, conference talks will regularly remind singles of this need, which can often

2019-02-24 Randy Gilchrist Dating, Marriage preparation
Dating Small Talk

Dating Small Talk

by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com FREE Online Dating Few factors matter more to the success or failure of a date than how the small talk goes. The chatter and discussion about a variety of big and little issues that encompasses the entire date from beginning to end. Good small talk will promote attraction, closeness, connection, understanding, and overall bonding. Poor small talk repels, discourages, and may even doom the relationship right then and there. So how

2019-02-17 Randy Gilchrist Dating, Communication
Tips for Long Distance Relationships

Tips for Long Distance Relationships

Tips for Long Distance Relationships by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com FREE Online Dating As single members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, it is preferable to date fellow active members that will hopefully, ideally, lead to an eventual temple marriage. However, unless you live in an area where there are many fellow local single members—Utah, Idaho, Arizona for example—it may be difficult to find, date, and marry an active member. Therefore

2019-02-11 Randy Gilchrist Dating, Healthy relationships
Avoiding Burnout in the Dating World

Avoiding Burnout in the Dating World

Sometimes people enter the dating world for the first time (or again after a breakup) and quickly find a new partner. However, most of the time it takes some time, especially when you are looking for an active church member to date. Months, years, even decades. The important thing to remember is that pushing forward in the dating world towards finding special that partner that is a keeper is usually more marathon than sprint. Pacing yourself will allow you to continue on for as long as needed.

2019-02-04 Randy Gilchrist Dating, Psychological health
Increasing Your Chances of Finding Someone

Increasing Your Chances of Finding Someone

In church circles, being single can be a frustrating situation. Finding that special someone to date and hopefully marry (ideally in the temple, ideally sooner versus later) can be especially challenging. Many good, high quality men and women who are basically active and worthy in the church can still find themselves single. This single status can often go on for years, decades, perhaps for the rest of their mortal lives. Why is this? Is this because such singles are “not worthy of love”? Is it

2019-01-28 Randy Gilchrist Dating, Communication
Keeping the Law of Chastity While Dating

Keeping the Law of Chastity While Dating

One of the most challenging issues facing all single members of the church is how to date, get engaged, and make it to marriage without crossing sexual (“intimate”) lines and having to work with the bishop in a repentance process. This challenge is often even more difficult when dating partners have been previously married or otherwise have sexual experience, making avoiding trouble that much more challenging. So, how can members of the church get through this dating process without breaking

2019-01-21 Randy Gilchrist Dating, Marriage preparation
Dealing with His or Her Ex

Dealing with His or Her Ex

by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com FREE Online Dating If you are dating someone 25 years or older or especially someone over 30, there is a decent chance your new boyfriend or girlfriend will have already been married before. And there is also a good chance that he or she will have had at least 1 child with their ex-spouse, often more. When dating someone divorced with a child or children with their ex, they have to co-parent those children until they are 18 years

2018-12-31 Randy Gilchrist Dating, Healthy relationships, Conflict resolution
Getting Back Together with the Ex?

Getting Back Together with the Ex?

Are you tempted to try to get back together with your ex? Is your ex trying to get back with you? Should you do it? Does it matter if you were only dating versus married or engaged? Does it ever work out? These and other related questions are common when an ex wants to get back together with you. The true answer in all scenarios is…it depends. Maybe it is a good idea, maybe it isn’t. And ultimately the choice will be up to you. However, hopefully some ideas in this article can help you in your

2018-12-17 Randy Gilchrist Dating, Healthy relationships, Psychological health
Spiritual Standards in Dating

Spiritual Standards in Dating

What kinds of standards should you look for spiritually with the person you want to date? The answer you give to this question for yourself will often reflect your own current level of spirituality. We generally feel best and comfortable with a person roughly at our own level of spirituality, perhaps a small bit higher. So if you wish to be with a person at a certain level higher than yours, it might be a good idea to get your own spiritual self together and a desired level yourself before

2018-12-03 Randy Gilchrist Dating, Spirituality
Boundaries while Dating

Boundaries while Dating

One gray area while dating is the issue of how to behave with other members of the opposite sex now NOT your new girlfriend or boyfriend. While socializing and looking to find someone to date, it is common and encouraged to socialize and flirt with multiple people of the opposite sex as you have fun and search for connections. However, when you finally are dating someone exclusively—especially when you become serious and even engaged—it is important to make some shifts and adjustments to help

2018-11-12 Randy Gilchrist Dating