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Keeping the Law of Chastity While DatingOne of the most challenging issues facing all single members of the church is how to date, get engaged, and make it to marriage without crossing sexual (“intimate”) lines and having to work with the bishop in a repentance process. This challenge is often even more difficult when dating partners have been previously married or otherwise have sexual experience, making avoiding trouble that much more challenging. So, how can members of the church get through this dating process without breaking
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Dealing with His or Her Exby Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com FREE Online Dating If you are dating someone 25 years or older or especially someone over 30, there is a decent chance your new boyfriend or girlfriend will have already been married before. And there is also a good chance that he or she will have had at least 1 child with their ex-spouse, often more. When dating someone divorced with a child or children with their ex, they have to co-parent those children until they are 18 years
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Getting Back Together with the Ex?Are you tempted to try to get back together with your ex? Is your ex trying to get back with you? Should you do it? Does it matter if you were only dating versus married or engaged? Does it ever work out? These and other related questions are common when an ex wants to get back together with you. The true answer in all scenarios is…it depends. Maybe it is a good idea, maybe it isn’t. And ultimately the choice will be up to you. However, hopefully some ideas in this article can help you in your
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Spiritual Standards in DatingWhat kinds of standards should you look for spiritually with the person you want to date? The answer you give to this question for yourself will often reflect your own current level of spirituality. We generally feel best and comfortable with a person roughly at our own level of spirituality, perhaps a small bit higher. So if you wish to be with a person at a certain level higher than yours, it might be a good idea to get your own spiritual self together and a desired level yourself before
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Boundaries while DatingOne gray area while dating is the issue of how to behave with other members of the opposite sex now NOT your new girlfriend or boyfriend. While socializing and looking to find someone to date, it is common and encouraged to socialize and flirt with multiple people of the opposite sex as you have fun and search for connections. However, when you finally are dating someone exclusively—especially when you become serious and even engaged—it is important to make some shifts and adjustments to help
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Acting AttractiveActing attractive on the outside with your looks, body language, facial expressions, words, actions…is it important to dating? Should it be important? Well, it is if you want to…attract someone to date you. An important rule of thumb: looking, acting, and sounding attractive on the outside gives you more initial dating opportunities--more often with more people. It creates spark and butterflies. Conversely, being a quality person on the inside and treating your partner well is what gives your
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Dating--Getting Out Thereby Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE online dating site) When I was growing up in the late 1970s and early 1980s, one of my favorite commercials was where the Kool-Aid man, a giant picture of red punch Kool-Aid, crashes through a wall screaming, “Oh Yeah!”. Sometimes today I think a lot of LDS singles take a similar approach to dating. Longing to be in a new relationship and marriage, many seem to wait around in the isolation of their house waiting for…their
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Dating—Does Anyone Do It Anymore?by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist In today’s age of the internet, cell phones, “hanging out”, “swipe right”, “hooking up”, etc., does anyone date anymore? Like, does anyone just meet through a mutual friend at church, school, or an activity, ask for a phone number, call and ask the other out, and go on a formal date? Does that even happen anymore? Technology and changing societal norms have altered many things today and dating is one of them. Plus, in this post Harvey Weinstein era
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Who Holds the Power in the Relationship?by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) An important aspect in any relationship—church member or not—is who holds the power in the relationship. Meaning, who makes the decisions, determines what is or is not done, and perhaps most importantly in dating, whether or not to continue the relationship. Ideally, both dating partners are strongly into each other and both want the relationship to be “full steam ahead”. Or, both partners are casual
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Antagonism Towards the Opposite SexMan and woman were created for each other. Opposites. Compliments. Mutual supports. Different roles. Originally in Genesis, it says: “And the Lord God planted a garden eastward in Eden; and there he put the man whom he had formed. And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him. And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; And the rib, which the
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Why Not Me?by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) Sometimes LDS singles wonder things like “why not me?”, “why haven’t I found someone yet (or again)?”, “why does it seem like it always works out for everyone else?”, “what is wrong with me?”, “what do others have that I must be lacking?”, and so on. It can shake our confidence to the core as the months, years, even decades go by still single. It becomes easy to question ourselves and others around
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Breaking Out of Introversionby Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) Being introverted often causes major challenges and hurdles for LDS singles trying to meet, date, and marry. Introversion is defined by dictionary.com as “the act of directing one's interest inward or to things within the self; the state of being concerned primarily with one's own thoughts and feelings rather than with the external environment”. In other words, people who are introverted are mainly
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When Are Advances Welcome?by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) One of the trickiest parts of being an LDS single (or a single in general) can be determining if a new love interest you are getting to know is in fact interested in return and welcome to your advances. Tricky because what may have been hoped to be romantic, exciting, and connective may actually be unwelcome advances. Even worse, you can come across as creepy, unwanted, and even harassing. So, how
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New to the Dating World Again?by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) If you have been in a serious, long term relationship, an engagement, or even a marriage, it can be challenging to suddenly find yourself single again after all of that time. You likely thought you wouldn’t ever be here again in this position. Thinking singlehood and the dating life was behind you, suddenly you are here again. It can be a shock and a challenging transition. Even when you saw it
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Giving Positive Energyby Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) I am about to discuss something that is probably going to sound extremely obvious in writing. However, unfortunately in real life, this topic is often ignored or not considered. The topic is simple: energy. The energy we give off and present to others in the LDS singles/dating environment. Positive energy will attract, negative energy will either repel or will attract the wrong kind of person. So
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Uptight: The Obsessive Compulsive Personalityby Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) In past articles, I have written about the personality disorders I have seen create great conflict in the LDS singles scene with dating and relationships in general. Those personality disorders previously addressed have consisted of antisocial, narcissistic, borderline, and histrionic. There is one more personality disorder that I wish to discuss to also help you beware of. It is lesser known, but
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