Articles

Happy Single?

Happy Single?

In many circles in society, the idea is shared that “you just need to learn to be happy” as a single person/by yourself. Is this true? Can you be fully happy as a single person? It sounds like good advice on the surface and in some ways it is. I’ve thought about this question and my response is…kind of. To a degree I think this is good advice. However, there is a limit here and it can also potentially be bad advice too. In my opinion and from my experience, there are three possible main

2024-05-19 Carly Gordon Dating, Psychological health
Conference Review—April 2024

Conference Review—April 2024

Every 6 months I do a little review of the most recent general conference, posting several quotes that have relevance to singles members of our church, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (as well as all members). Remember that Surely the Lord God will do nothing, but he revealeth his secret unto his servants the prophets. (Amos 3:7), as well as this point: What I the Lord have spoken, I have spoken, and I excuse not myself; and though the heavens and the earth pass away, my word

2024-05-12 Randy Gilchrist Spirituality
Overcoming Selfishness

Overcoming Selfishness

Here in the 2020s we have a society, media, academia, and overall world that has become more selfish and entitled. Technological and other society changes have promoted a “me” attitude and approach to life. One of the main contributors to this shift has been the internet. With YouTube, social media, and other apps and websites promoting both ease of information and immediate gratification/stimulation, selfishness has been greatly on the rise. It seems this trend has really taken off about the

2024-05-06 Randy Gilchrist
Attitudes of the World

Attitudes of the World

The attitudes of today are often in direct opposition to the counsel and direction of the prophets of God. In this article I reviewed a lot of the common attitudes of today that represent the pride of the world. Here I will review some more attitudes of today, along with a charge not buy into these attitudes. Why? Because as we know from 1995 Proclamation to the World, gender roles, marriage, and family are the ideal constructs ordained by God and the main goals to strive for (see:

2024-04-28 Randy Gilchrist
Personal Accountability and Responsibility

Personal Accountability and Responsibility

by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com FREE Online Dating Today in the 2020s, a common problem and challenge is people not being accountable and responsible when they fail, make bad decisions, or otherwise “drop the ball”. We regularly see politicians, actors, media personalities, and other “rich, popular, and/or important” people avoid consequences for theft, lies, infidelity, assault, and other poor choices in a very public way. These poor examples have trickled

2024-04-22 Randy Gilchrist
Tone of Voice

Tone of Voice

There are many books, audios, and videos about relationships and more specifically, communication skills. Often this is referred to as “assertive communication skills training”. This typically involves improving your words to say and words not to say. This is somewhat effective. But these skills alone are generally not enough by themselves to actually help a couple effectively communicate and resolve differences. Why not? Because research shows that in any given communication, the bulk of a

2024-04-13 Randy Gilchrist
Healthy Versus Natural Matches

Healthy Versus Natural Matches

When a relationship works, the reason given is often that the couple is a “good match”. However, what does that really mean? And when a relationship doesn’t work and it is described as “not being a match”, what does that mean as well? In this article, two main types of lobsided relationship matches will be discussed, as well as what is needed for the future health and wellbeing of a relationship. Healthy Matches: A healthy match is a relationship where partners basically treat each other

2024-04-06 Randy Gilchrist
Depression Management

Depression Management

Depression includes feelings of sadness, hopelessness, and helplessness, as well as feeling blue, down, lethargic, unmotivated, and so on. Eating and sleeping habits become strained, along with other elements of self-care. When looking to date and marry, having frustration, heartache, and heartbreak can understandably lead to depression. And then unfortunately, when someone is depressed, they are less likely to successfully meet, date, and marry someone as well. Unfortunately, people who are

2024-03-23 Randy Gilchrist Psychological health
Motivation to Change

Motivation to Change

Arguably the greatest impediment towards lasting change and improvement is…a lack of motivation. Motivation is defined by Google as “the reason or reasons one has for acting or behaving in a particular way”, or “the general desire or willingness of someone to do something”. Basically, there two types of motivation. “Internal” or “intrinsic” motivation, which relates to truly wanting to change inside apart from outside influence. The second type is referred to as “external” motivation, which

2024-03-17 Randy Gilchrist Dating, Marriage preparation
Connecting Versus Self-Protecting

Connecting Versus Self-Protecting

Emotionally and psychologically, we have two conflicting forces inside of each of us: the part of us that wants to connect with others promotes closeness, love, affection, and the desire to share our lives with a person of the opposite sex. This is natural, healthy, and leads us to socialize, be vulnerable, and engage in some risk. On the other hand, there is another conflicting part of us inside that promotes self-protection. After we have been hurt or scorned by another in our past, the

2024-03-09 Randy Gilchrist
Dating Today

Dating Today

by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com FREE Online Dating A long time ago (say, from the 1990s and before), dating was a pretty clear, basic endeavor. Men would ask out women on dates after being introduced from a mutual acquaintance or through meeting at a mutual activity or get together. Women would accept if the interest was mutual. The dates may or may not start in a group setting but if the dating went well, more dates would follow, then just dating each other

2024-03-02 Randy Gilchrist Dating
Quotes on Hope

Quotes on Hope

In an earlier article I talked about the definition of hope, the importance of hope, and how to generate hope (see: https://www.ldsdimension.com/articles/having-hope-337/). In this article I am going to give several quotes from general authorities on hope to further support these previous ideas. Hope is essential. Please work to generate as much hope as reasonably possible. Remember the following scripture: And if you have not faith, hope, and charity, you can do nothing. (Doctrine & Covenants

2024-02-25 Randy Gilchrist Psychological health, Spirituality
Optimism

Optimism

Optimism is defined as follows (according to Google): hopefulness and confidence about the future or the successful outcome of something. So, how can you be optimistic about your present and future with relationships and marriage, as well as life in general? And why would that be a helpful and important thing to do? That will be the focus of this article. First, being optimistic in your relationship approach is important because that will be the most effective approach possible. The more

2024-02-18 Randy Gilchrist Healthy relationships
Being the Initiator?

Being the Initiator?

President Dallin H. Oaks recently gave a worldwide devotional to single adults with a number of suggestions and recommendations. In this address in May, 2023, he states the following: “Men, if you have returned from your mission and you are still following the boy-girl patterns you were counseled to follow when you were 15, it is time for you to grow up. Gather your courage and look for someone to pair off with. Start with a variety of dates with a variety of young women, and when that phase

2024-02-11 Randy Gilchrist Dating
Being Healthy and Balanced

Being Healthy and Balanced

To be healthy is to have all of the main areas of your life fulfilled and your main needs addressed. When we are unhealthy, lacking, or unbalanced in some way, our insides will remind us through unpleasant emotions such as depression, anxiety, or guilt, sometimes anger and resentment as well. Some of these emotions can simply come as temptations or disturbances from Satan. However, beyond temptation, such emotions can often be thought of as “action indicators”—indications that an area of life

2024-02-04 Randy Gilchrist Health and fitness
Signs of the Times

Signs of the Times

Our church name is “The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints”. What does “Latter-Days” mean? It means we live in the latter days close to and leading up to the second coming of Jesus Christ and beginning of the Millenium. The second coming and the days leading up to it have been referred to as both “great and dreadful”. Some rough times will indeed exist from here on out. In this article I will review a number of latter-day “signs of the times”, along with some implications of these

2024-01-27 Randy Gilchrist Dating