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Owning Relationship OutcomesAre there common frustrations as a single member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints? Yes. Commonly, many. Heartache, heartbreak, rejection, disappointment, and so on can make a person feel a bit “snakebitten”. And when a person is feeling these ways, it is common to take a break from socializing and seeking to create a new relationship. And while it is understandable to take a break, obviously, such breaks won’t lead to a new relationship. It is unlikely that a new person will
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Impact of Online Dating TodayIn the mid to late 1990s, online dating arose as a new thing with the internet became a regular part of our lives. Because of the convenience factor and the great quantity of potential dating partners, online ways of meeting others has only grown bigger and greater each year. Online dating websites and apps have been the original forms of online dating. However people also meet and date online through video games, social media, and other websites where people can meet, mingle, and message each
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AttractivenessThis is going to sound like an obvious comment: in order to attract another person to date/have a relationship with/get married to, you need to be…attractive. And you also need to be attracted to them as well. Being attractive means a number of things and can come in a number of ways. The most obvious way to be attractive is to look physically attractive. Beyond that, attractiveness includes things like attitude, personality, countenance, mood, communication abilities, and so on. For instance
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Feelings Versus Commitment in Marriage and DivorceIn the old traditional Methodist wedding vows, we find the following: In the name of God, I, Name, take you, Name, to be my wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until we are parted by death. This is my solemn vow. In our temple wedding sealing ceremonies we have our own serious marital vows. So, what is the purpose of such vows? Why do traditional religions include
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Quotes Encouraging Dating and MarriageThroughout the years general authorities have given quotes encouraging us to date, search for, and marry. Is it harder to do so today compared to earlier times? I would say so. Inflation makes dating and marriage more difficult than in the past. Affording houses, cars, kids, etc. is tougher than the past. Too often as well, expectations are high on partners in dating and relationships too and can require jumping through some hoops. Having reasonable expectations, being willing to put effort in
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Happy Single?In many circles in society, the idea is shared that “you just need to learn to be happy” as a single person/by yourself. Is this true? Can you be fully happy as a single person? It sounds like good advice on the surface and in some ways it is. I’ve thought about this question and my response is…kind of. To a degree I think this is good advice. However, there is a limit here and it can also potentially be bad advice too. In my opinion and from my experience, there are three possible main
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Conference Review—April 2024Every 6 months I do a little review of the most recent general conference, posting several quotes that have relevance to singles members of our church, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (as well as all members). Remember that Surely the Lord God will do nothing, but he revealeth his secret unto his servants the prophets. (Amos 3:7), as well as this point: What I the Lord have spoken, I have spoken, and I excuse not myself; and though the heavens and the earth pass away, my word
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Overcoming SelfishnessHere in the 2020s we have a society, media, academia, and overall world that has become more selfish and entitled. Technological and other society changes have promoted a “me” attitude and approach to life. One of the main contributors to this shift has been the internet. With YouTube, social media, and other apps and websites promoting both ease of information and immediate gratification/stimulation, selfishness has been greatly on the rise. It seems this trend has really taken off about the
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Attitudes of the WorldThe attitudes of today are often in direct opposition to the counsel and direction of the prophets of God. In this article I reviewed a lot of the common attitudes of today that represent the pride of the world. Here I will review some more attitudes of today, along with a charge not buy into these attitudes. Why? Because as we know from 1995 Proclamation to the World, gender roles, marriage, and family are the ideal constructs ordained by God and the main goals to strive for (see:
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Personal Accountability and Responsibilityby Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com FREE Online Dating Today in the 2020s, a common problem and challenge is people not being accountable and responsible when they fail, make bad decisions, or otherwise “drop the ball”. We regularly see politicians, actors, media personalities, and other “rich, popular, and/or important” people avoid consequences for theft, lies, infidelity, assault, and other poor choices in a very public way. These poor examples have trickled
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Tone of VoiceThere are many books, audios, and videos about relationships and more specifically, communication skills. Often this is referred to as “assertive communication skills training”. This typically involves improving your words to say and words not to say. This is somewhat effective. But these skills alone are generally not enough by themselves to actually help a couple effectively communicate and resolve differences. Why not? Because research shows that in any given communication, the bulk of a
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Healthy Versus Natural MatchesWhen a relationship works, the reason given is often that the couple is a “good match”. However, what does that really mean? And when a relationship doesn’t work and it is described as “not being a match”, what does that mean as well? In this article, two main types of lobsided relationship matches will be discussed, as well as what is needed for the future health and wellbeing of a relationship. Healthy Matches: A healthy match is a relationship where partners basically treat each other
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Depression ManagementDepression includes feelings of sadness, hopelessness, and helplessness, as well as feeling blue, down, lethargic, unmotivated, and so on. Eating and sleeping habits become strained, along with other elements of self-care. When looking to date and marry, having frustration, heartache, and heartbreak can understandably lead to depression. And then unfortunately, when someone is depressed, they are less likely to successfully meet, date, and marry someone as well. Unfortunately, people who are
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Motivation to ChangeArguably the greatest impediment towards lasting change and improvement is…a lack of motivation. Motivation is defined by Google as “the reason or reasons one has for acting or behaving in a particular way”, or “the general desire or willingness of someone to do something”. Basically, there two types of motivation. “Internal” or “intrinsic” motivation, which relates to truly wanting to change inside apart from outside influence. The second type is referred to as “external” motivation, which
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Connecting Versus Self-ProtectingEmotionally and psychologically, we have two conflicting forces inside of each of us: the part of us that wants to connect with others promotes closeness, love, affection, and the desire to share our lives with a person of the opposite sex. This is natural, healthy, and leads us to socialize, be vulnerable, and engage in some risk. On the other hand, there is another conflicting part of us inside that promotes self-protection. After we have been hurt or scorned by another in our past, the
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Dating Todayby Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com FREE Online Dating A long time ago (say, from the 1990s and before), dating was a pretty clear, basic endeavor. Men would ask out women on dates after being introduced from a mutual acquaintance or through meeting at a mutual activity or get together. Women would accept if the interest was mutual. The dates may or may not start in a group setting but if the dating went well, more dates would follow, then just dating each other
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