Articles

Being Hopeful in Single Life

Being Hopeful in Single Life

There are several ways to be single. You can be a person who has never been married. You can have had one or more divorces. Or you can be a widow/widower. Whatever your particular circumstance, most adult members of the church will be single at some point of their lives. The church recently revealed that for the first time ever, more adult church members are single than married—just over 50%. An April, 2021 Deseret News article stated the following: “…The majority of adult church members are

2021-11-28 Randy Gilchrist Dating, Marriage preparation
Giving Honey and Not Vinegar

Giving Honey and Not Vinegar

There is a classic old saying, “you’ll catch more flies with honey than vinegar”. In other words, you will be more attractive to others and get further with others with a positive approach versus a negative one. So why do so many people show negativity with others in the dating and relationship world? Several possible reasons. Perhaps negativity, conflict, and contention was common in the family atmosphere they grew up with. Perhaps friends have given them bad relationship advice. Perhaps

2021-11-21 Randy Gilchrist Communication
Alarming Worldly Trends

Alarming Worldly Trends

In the New Testament, Christ tells his disciples to be “in the world” but not “of the world (John 19:14-16). That has become especially difficult today, but it’s not impossible. In the latter days, many troublesome times were prophesied of that we are now living in and seeing the fulfillment of: Now the Spirit speaketh expressly, that in the latter times some shall depart from the faith, giving heed to seducing spirits, and doctrines of devils; Speaking lies in hypocrisy; having their

2021-11-14 Randy Gilchrist Dating
Attractors with Men:  Unwritten Forces at Work

Attractors with Men: Unwritten Forces at Work

Men. We are pretty simple creatures for the most part. We may or may not be “easy” to deal with, depending on our personality and whatever other issues we may have. But otherwise, we are usually pretty simple. This especially involves what we are attracted to with women. From my experience both as a man and as a therapist seeing these forces at work, there are a few (3) key things that tend to find especially attractive with women. To understand these traits will help women know why they are or

2021-11-07 Randy Gilchrist Understanding men, Healthy relationships
Attractors with Women:  Unwritten Forces at Work

Attractors with Women: Unwritten Forces at Work

We are members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. That common factor is what leads you to be reading this article at this time. As great as our church is, there are some natural, inherent challenges. In last week’s article I reviewed some common mixed messages that we have to navigate as active members trying to have it all and be it all. In this week’s article, it is not so much that a mixed message is given on this subject, but an incomplete message. In essence what I have

2021-10-31 Randy Gilchrist Understanding men, Understanding women
Mixed Messages from Church?

Mixed Messages from Church?

One thing I used to be rather bothered by as a single member: some mixed messages I noticed hearing in my wards, in general conference, etc. Over time and with additional life experience and wisdom, I have come to learn that mixed messages and contradictions given at church simply indicate the need to balance multiple issues, needs, and priorities at the same time. None will be done perfectly. Most of these contradictions involve careers, money, debt, and working versus other family and church

2021-10-24 Randy Gilchrist Spirituality
Going Back to the Temple:  Addressing and Eliminating Excuses

Going Back to the Temple: Addressing and Eliminating Excuses

As a single member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, it would be well worth your while to have a current temple recommend and regularly attend to the temple. Regular temple attendance would bless you with having the Spirit more often, which will help you be happy now and prepare you spiritually for your future marriage. Temple attendance will also help ease your emotional pains and scars from the past. Finally, going to the temple regularly will remind you of the eternal

2021-10-16 Randy Gilchrist Dating, Spirituality
Being A Commitment-Oriented Person

Being A Commitment-Oriented Person

In the 2020s with both members and non-members of the church alike, commitment in relationships and marriage has become weak and strained. And harder to find and maintain than previous generations. While there are numerous societal shifts and factors that have contributed to this development, a primary contributor to this problem is technology and the immediate gratification that comes from it. With Facebook, Instagram, Match, Tinder, You Tube, Tik Tok, online gaming, etc., people and

2021-10-09 Randy Gilchrist Dating, Healthy relationships, Communication
Online Dating—Picking a Winner

Online Dating—Picking a Winner

Online dating today is more than just the traditional online dating websites. There are also dating apps, social media forums, video games, and many other ways to meet and connect online. In most social sites online, a person has a profile of some kind that possesses valuable information that can help you learn whether or not they would make for a good pick to date and relationship partner. And what the profile doesn’t show, you can then tactfully research and inquire about before meeting. In

2021-10-03 Randy Gilchrist Dating, Marriage preparation
Catfishing: Beware of Scammers Online

Catfishing: Beware of Scammers Online

If social media and online dating sites/apps aren’t the main way people are meeting in the 2020s, they soon will be. Online connections are becoming more and more mainstream. The common way that people today meet and interact. And while some people date and may even marry those they meet online, most will not lead to that result, just like in real life. Also, similar to real life, there are scammers out there. Frauds. Players. Charlatans. You know, those who will do a bait and switch—pretend to

2021-09-26 Randy Gilchrist Dating
Making a Good Dating Profile

Making a Good Dating Profile

In the 2020s and beyond, online dating is only getting bigger and bigger. Time limitations, geography, and many other challenges have made the convenience, flexibility, and quantity of options have helped make online dating more popular than ever. What was once seen as “desperate” is now common, acceptable, and destigmatized. In short, online dating is here to stay. There are traditional online dating websites, dating apps, and online forums and groups to choose from. Whatever your choice of

2021-09-19 Randy Gilchrist Dating
Thoughts on Relationships

Thoughts on Relationships

Over the years, I have worked with thousands of individuals and couples with all types of relationship challenges and difficulties. Relationships and especially marriage is difficult today for sure. The divorce rate has risen to 50%+ since 1976 when the no-fault divorce laws kicked in from the early 1970s. Stress, conflict, pressure, personality clashes, and multiple needs, wants, and feelings inevitably make marriages difficult, strained, and challenging. It is tough to keep them together. So

2021-09-12 Randy Gilchrist Healthy relationships
Worldly Attitudes on Marriage

Worldly Attitudes on Marriage

In Lehi and Nephi’s vision of the tree of life, a metaphorical image is given of a “great and specious building”. In this building, many popular, trendy, well dressed inhabitants cast ridicule, scorn, shame, and put downs to those holding onto the iron rod on the path towards the tree. Worldly views, attitudes, and philosophy was cast on the righteous in an attempt to lead them astray from eternal life. Accordingly, we read from Lehi’s vision: And I also cast my eyes round about, and beheld

2021-09-05 Shawn Gordon Marriage preparation, Spirituality
Attraction on Display: Danny and Sandy

Attraction on Display: Danny and Sandy

In the classic 1978 movie “Grease”, the main characters showcase what powerful male and female attraction is all about. That is mainly why this musical is still highly popular all these decades later. Danny Zuko (played by John Travolta) and Sandra “Sandy” Dee (played by Olivia Newton John) not only have a strong attraction and chemistry together, but they also demonstrate the classic, powerful traits of male and female attraction in general. Being aware of these traits can illustrate and

2021-08-30 Randy Gilchrist Understanding men, Understanding women
What is Attractive to Women?

What is Attractive to Women?

What traits initially attract a woman to a man? What mainly leads her to be open to romantically dating a man in the beginning? What helps her to have butterflies and be drawn to him? What forces differentiate a guy from “just being a friend”, to someone she would consider dating and having a relationship with? These are important questions that men are curious about and women may not be fully and consciously aware of. In other words, what a woman learns from church and society that she

2021-08-22 Randy Gilchrist Understanding women
The Creed of President George Albert Smith

The Creed of President George Albert Smith

President George Albert Smith was the church president from 1945-1951, being a general authority through the Great Depression and World War II. To be a church leader through such difficult and challenging times helped to cultivate many admirable principles and values in this great man. Many an article could be created in relation to his great words and teachings. There is one particular set of ideas from President Smith that I wanted to share in this little article that I feel can be very

2021-08-08 Randy Gilchrist Spirituality