Articles

Motivation to Change

Motivation to Change

Arguably the greatest impediment towards lasting change and improvement is…a lack of motivation. Motivation is defined by Google as “the reason or reasons one has for acting or behaving in a particular way”, or “the general desire or willingness of someone to do something”. Basically, there two types of motivation. “Internal” or “intrinsic” motivation, which relates to truly wanting to change inside apart from outside influence. The second type is referred to as “external” motivation, which

2024-03-17 Randy Gilchrist Dating, Marriage preparation
Connecting Versus Self-Protecting

Connecting Versus Self-Protecting

Emotionally and psychologically, we have two conflicting forces inside of each of us: the part of us that wants to connect with others promotes closeness, love, affection, and the desire to share our lives with a person of the opposite sex. This is natural, healthy, and leads us to socialize, be vulnerable, and engage in some risk. On the other hand, there is another conflicting part of us inside that promotes self-protection. After we have been hurt or scorned by another in our past, the

2024-03-09 Randy Gilchrist
Dating Today

Dating Today

by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com FREE Online Dating A long time ago (say, from the 1990s and before), dating was a pretty clear, basic endeavor. Men would ask out women on dates after being introduced from a mutual acquaintance or through meeting at a mutual activity or get together. Women would accept if the interest was mutual. The dates may or may not start in a group setting but if the dating went well, more dates would follow, then just dating each other

2024-03-02 Randy Gilchrist Dating
Quotes on Hope

Quotes on Hope

In an earlier article I talked about the definition of hope, the importance of hope, and how to generate hope (see: https://www.ldsdimension.com/articles/having-hope-337/). In this article I am going to give several quotes from general authorities on hope to further support these previous ideas. Hope is essential. Please work to generate as much hope as reasonably possible. Remember the following scripture: And if you have not faith, hope, and charity, you can do nothing. (Doctrine & Covenants

2024-02-25 Randy Gilchrist Psychological health, Spirituality
Optimism

Optimism

Optimism is defined as follows (according to Google): hopefulness and confidence about the future or the successful outcome of something. So, how can you be optimistic about your present and future with relationships and marriage, as well as life in general? And why would that be a helpful and important thing to do? That will be the focus of this article. First, being optimistic in your relationship approach is important because that will be the most effective approach possible. The more

2024-02-18 Randy Gilchrist Healthy relationships
Being the Initiator?

Being the Initiator?

President Dallin H. Oaks recently gave a worldwide devotional to single adults with a number of suggestions and recommendations. In this address in May, 2023, he states the following: “Men, if you have returned from your mission and you are still following the boy-girl patterns you were counseled to follow when you were 15, it is time for you to grow up. Gather your courage and look for someone to pair off with. Start with a variety of dates with a variety of young women, and when that phase

2024-02-11 Randy Gilchrist Dating
Being Healthy and Balanced

Being Healthy and Balanced

To be healthy is to have all of the main areas of your life fulfilled and your main needs addressed. When we are unhealthy, lacking, or unbalanced in some way, our insides will remind us through unpleasant emotions such as depression, anxiety, or guilt, sometimes anger and resentment as well. Some of these emotions can simply come as temptations or disturbances from Satan. However, beyond temptation, such emotions can often be thought of as “action indicators”—indications that an area of life

2024-02-04 Randy Gilchrist Health and fitness
Signs of the Times

Signs of the Times

Our church name is “The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints”. What does “Latter-Days” mean? It means we live in the latter days close to and leading up to the second coming of Jesus Christ and beginning of the Millenium. The second coming and the days leading up to it have been referred to as both “great and dreadful”. Some rough times will indeed exist from here on out. In this article I will review a number of latter-day “signs of the times”, along with some implications of these

2024-01-27 Randy Gilchrist Dating
Selfishness in Relationships

Selfishness in Relationships

Selfishness is a large problem today in relationships and marriages, both in and out of the church. We live in a selfish, me-me-me, immediate gratification society. This selfishness is promoted in all segments of society today, including: TV, movies, social media, and many other parts of the internet. In this article, I am going to give several general authority quotes that clarify how selfishness and narcissism need to be lessened, while empathy, consideration, and giving are needed instead to

2024-01-21 Randy Gilchrist Dating, Healthy relationships, Communication, Conflict resolution
Having Boundaries

Having Boundaries

I have heard it said before that in relationships, we train the other person how we are to be treated. That is at least partly true. Beyond what we tolerate or accept, how we are treated also relates to the other person’s personality and habits. But yes, what we tolerate has a definite role in how the other person treats us. We are regularly told by general authorities to treat our spouses with kindness, love, and consideration. That is a good rule of thumb and a default position. However, what

2024-01-13 Randy Gilchrist Dating
Living “Not of the World”

Living “Not of the World”

Today, it is true that relationships between men and women, relationships, and marriages are strained. Divorce rates are high, gender conflict is common, political division is extreme, and other challenges and stresses abound. All of this was predicted in the scriptures. We read in the New Testament Paul saying the following, “Now the Spirit speaketh expressly, that in the latter times some shall depart from the faith, giving heed to seducing spirits, and doctrines of devils; Speaking lies in

2024-01-07 Randy Gilchrist Dating, Spirituality
Thinking Celestial

Thinking Celestial

In the most recent general conference in October, 2023, President Russell M. Nelson talked about the idea of “thinking Celestial”. Accordingly, here is a quote from that talk that gives the essence of the message: Here is the great news of God’s plan: the very things that will make your mortal life the best it can be are exactly the same things that will make your life throughout all eternity the best it can be! Today, to assist you to qualify for the rich blessings Heavenly Father has for

2023-12-26 Carly Gordon Spirituality
Having Empathy

Having Empathy

If a relationship and subsequent marriage is to not only survive but to thrive, an essential element is empathy. According to Google, “empathy” is defined as “the ability to understand and share the feelings of another”. Also, “Empathy is generally described as the ability to take on another's perspective, to understand, feel and possibly share and respond to their experience.” In other words, a person showing empathy to another person is to be able to put themselves in their shoes. To

2023-12-16 Randy Gilchrist Communication, Psychological health
President Nelson Quotes

President Nelson Quotes

An early Church leader, John A. Widtsoe said, “The most important prophet in any age is the living prophet. … To follow the living prophet, the interpreter of the past, is the essence of wisdom. The very strength of the Church lies in the doctrine of continuous revelation through a living prophet”. For us today, right now, that man is President Russell M. Nelson. Since he became the President of the Church and the main prophet, seer, and revelator from January 2018 to now, he has shared many

2023-12-03 Randy Gilchrist Spirituality
Being Optimistic vs Pessimistic

Being Optimistic vs Pessimistic

In today’s dating and relationship world, it is very understandable why someone would choose to be more cynical, negative, and discouraged instead of optimistic, positive, and hopeful. However, it’s up to you which of these options will be your primary approach to the opposite sex and relationships. According to Google, being optimistic is defined as being “hopeful and confident about the future”; with optimists “…seeing the positive side of things. They expect things to turn out well. They

2023-11-20 Randy Gilchrist Dating, Communication, Conflict resolution
Dating Members vs. Non-Members

Dating Members vs. Non-Members

In today’s dating climate as single members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, there are many challenges. One common challenge is a sparce population of fellow single members to date, especially when living outside of Utah, Idaho, and Arizona (or the Western US in general). Other challenges include negative experiences with previous members in dating and relationships. Finally, some feel their local member dating pool has been poisoned after others have heard negative things

2023-11-12 Randy Gilchrist