Articles

Being Approachable

Being Approachable

A lot of times, people in the singles/dating world get frustrated with a number of common issues and challenges. One of the more common frustrations involves people being unhappy that others do not approach them or keep wanting to interact after a brief exchange. If you are noticing that you are rarely approached or your conversations with others are usually brief, tense, or awkward, there are probably reasons for this. Are you not rich, good looking, or popular enough? I don’t know. Maybe

2020-11-23 Randy Gilchrist Dating
Money Matters

Money Matters

A touchy subject in the dating and relationship world is money. When joining lives together, wherever you and the other person is at financially is significant. Basically, there are two main components of this issue: income and debt. Adding to these two issues is credit score. When a person’s income/assets are notably greater than their debt, the better off they are financially and have a “positive net worth”. Conversely, the greater the person’s debt relative to their income and assets, the

2020-11-14 Randy Gilchrist Finance
Elder Uchtdorf Quotes

Elder Uchtdorf Quotes

In my opinion, one of the most supporting, loving, and insightful general authorities is Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf. He is the former “President Uchtdorf” when he was in the First Presidency with Pres. Monson (2008-2018), and then “Elder Uchtdorf” again, back in the Quorum of the Twelve. Anyway, in this article I am going to post a few of his quotes that I feel can be helpful and useful to single members (and most people in general). If you really enjoy him and would like to read, listen to, or

2020-11-08 Randy Gilchrist Spirituality
Ways to Feed Your Marriage

Ways to Feed Your Marriage

There are several elements that research shows makes for a happy marriage, which will be reviewed in this article. If you have been married before or are looking forward towards your first marriage, follow the suggestions here in this little article to have a happy, healthy, lasting, and hopefully eternal marriage. If you think of a marriage as a living organism, it can die either through being killed through conflict, or by being starved through neglect. This article will review some key ways

2020-11-02 Randy Gilchrist Marriage preparation
Mean Girls

Mean Girls

As members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, there shouldn’t be a need for an article on “mean girls”, right? Unfortunately, yes there is. This phenomenon exists in wards and in other church circles just like elsewhere else. Mean girls are just that—girls/women who are mean to each other in certain ways mainly particular to females. This “mean” treatment of others hits a peak in the junior high and high school years, although it generally begins in elementary school and can

2020-10-25 Randy Gilchrist Dating, Marriage preparation
Virtue Signaling

Virtue Signaling

Among religious members, virtue signaling is pretty common and prevalent. The same could be said among groups of singles. If you combine the two together, virtue signaling becomes commonplace among single members of our church. Why do people do this? Partly because of insecurity, but mainly as an effort to make them more attractive or impressive in some fashion—although the opposite effect often occurs. In single church circles specifically, the aim is often to come across as more spiritual

2020-10-19 Randy Gilchrist Psychological health
Eternally Single?

Eternally Single?

In the Doctrine & Covenants 132, we learn all about the nature of and difference between a marriage that will be eternal and those who end at the end of mortal life. The difference relates to whether or not you marry in the temple (and keep those covenants) versus if you marry civilly. The idea is that your choices determine these outcomes. However, what if you really want an eternal temple marriage but you settle for civil, hoping for more at some point? Or even possibly hope you will be given

2020-10-12 Randy Gilchrist Marriage preparation, Spirituality
Assessing Spirituality

Assessing Spirituality

When first getting to know someone and as you begin dating, assessing the other person’s level of spirituality is important. Why? Because the greater the mismatch spiritually between the both of you, the greater the challenges tend to be in the relationship. How does that make sense? If the other person is much stronger spiritually than you, shouldn’t that be a plus? For them personally, yes. But not necessarily for you both in the relationship. A highly spiritual person tends to be very

2020-10-05 Randy Gilchrist Dating, Spirituality
Explaining Baggage

Explaining Baggage

A particular challenge of dating in and out of church circles is baggage. More specifically, deciding when and how to explain the particular baggage (meaning, your notable issues or challenges) you bring to the relationship. If you bring up your baggage too quickly, you could scare people off and repel others. Conversely, if you bring up issues too deep and late into a relationship—even after engagement or even marriage, the other person may feel you weren’t honest and open in the relationship.

2020-09-27 Randy Gilchrist Dating, Communication
Marriage and In-Laws

Marriage and In-Laws

One area of challenge for most couples are relationships with the in-laws. Why? Because the new mother and father-in-law are a part of the package of what you commit to in marriage, but they are not necessarily people you would seek out and befriend if they were not connected to your spouse. And how you navigate the relationship with your new extended family members will be important to the health and longevity of your marriage. This article will review ideas about in-laws to assist you for

2020-09-20 Randy Gilchrist Healthy relationships
Being Healthy

Being Healthy

It is hard to have a healthy, happy dating and married relationship if you yourself are not personally healthy. The goal of this article is to give you a review of several key elements to be personally healthy, happy, and ready to offer the best version of yourself to another. So, what are the important elements of yourself to work on? And how can you be personally healthy? Here are some ideas: Elements of Personal Health: Physical Health: basically, to be physically healthy involves giving

2020-09-14 Randy Gilchrist Health and fitness
Libido Problems in Marriage

Libido Problems in Marriage

In previous articles I have discussed sex life related topics for single members as an effort to help everyone in preparation for their future marriage. Why? Because sexual dissatisfaction and dysfunction is a common, damaging problem and challenge among married couples in the church. I have discussed the common topic and challenge of sexual hangups (https://www.ldsdimension.com/articles/sexual-hangups-in-marriage-182/), sexual dissatisfaction and dysfunction in marriage

2020-08-31 Randy Gilchrist Healthy relationships, Marriage preparation
Picking Well

Picking Well

Over the years I’ve noticed that there are 2 simple and basic requirements to a successful relationship. The first requirement is to pick well, the second is to nurture your relationship well from there. If you have picked well, the other person will most likely nurture you well in return. Implied in this rule of thumb is that when you do not pick well—when you pick a person with notable character flaws, problems, or issues, your efforts to keep the relationship healthy, happy, and committed

2020-08-23 Randy Gilchrist Dating, Healthy relationships
Applying the 7 Habits to Relationships

Applying the 7 Habits to Relationships

A landmark self-help book by renown BYU professor Stephen Covey is the classic work: The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. Regularly touted as one of the top 20 self-help books of all time, this remarkable work loosely and informally translates several useful and traditionally LDS principles into a user-friendly self-help form to promote what makes for healthy, happy, effective people. These principles relate to both the business world, relationships, and life in general. In today’s dating

2020-08-17 Randy Gilchrist Dating, Communication
Positive Relationship Role Models

Positive Relationship Role Models

One of the biggest challenges for relationships today is the lack of positive marriage and relationship role models. Too often we see friends, family, and coworkers complaining about their significant other, getting separations and divorces, and overall being unhappy. We see TV and movies showing the same things: arguing, contention, resentments, break ups, infidelity, and on and on. It is no wonder that people have largely lost faith and confidence in relationships and marriage success today.

2020-08-10 Randy Gilchrist Dating, Healthy relationships
Handling Rejection

Handling Rejection

One of the hardest aspects of the dating world is when you face rejection: someone deciding they are not interested in and do not want to date you (or no longer want to date you). It is very easy to take the rejection hard and take it personally. We often wonder why we were truly rejected. Because often the one rejected either gives no explanation (they “ghost” you), gives a false explanation, or only gives a partial explanation (where there is “more to the story”). Occasionally the rejecting

2020-08-03 Randy Gilchrist Dating