Articles

Positive Ideas About Femininity

Positive Ideas About Femininity

In Isaiah 5:20-24 a problem is described that will exist in the latter days: “Woe unto them that call evil good, and good evil; that put darkness for light, and light for darkness; that put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter! Woe unto them that are wise in their own eyes, and prudent in their own sight! Woe unto them that are mighty to drink wine, and men of strength to mingle strong drink: Which justify the wicked for reward, and take away the righteousness of the righteous from him!

2020-06-01 Randy Gilchrist Understanding women, Spirituality
Improving Your Mood

Improving Your Mood

A common challenge for singles is mood. To attract a new dating partner it is important to show an attractive attitude. However, if you are in a depressed or anxious mood, the prospects of attracting another shrink away or even disappear. In an earlier article I wrote about having an attractive attitude. You may wish to read that article later (see: https://www.ldsdimension.com/articles/having-an-attractive-attitude-188/). The purpose of this article is to help you improve your mood to not only

2020-05-25 Randy Gilchrist Psychological health
The Simplicity of Men

The Simplicity of Men

One of the more challenging things I have noticed women often struggling with is how simple men really tend to be. This usually causes a struggle in the form of confusion, frustration, and contention. As if there is more going on than there is. And yet, rarely is there more going on. In previous articles I reviewed things men tend to want, like, and need in a relationship (https://www.ldsdimension.com/articles/what-do-men-want-3/) as well as things that men want women to know about men

2020-05-18 Randy Gilchrist Understanding men
The World’s Attitude Towards Marriage

The World’s Attitude Towards Marriage

Isaiah warned that in the latter days today, evil shall be called good and good shall be called evil (Isaiah 5:20, 2 Nephi 15:20). That concept covers many areas in life including things like gender differences, gender roles, and marriage. For instance, the world’s attitude towards gender today is largely focused on a rejection of traditional women’s roles and femininity as inferior, a focus on men acting more feminine, and women acting more masculine. Women are encouraged to work and be very

2020-05-10 Randy Gilchrist Marriage preparation
Common Complaints from Women

Common Complaints from Women

In last week’s article I made a list of some of the most common complaints from single men about women, heard over and over again during my years of doing therapy as a clinical psychologist. Most of these complaints were made by single male members of the church, and some were also common complaints made by non-member men as well. To show that I am willing to give equal time to both sides, I have also decided to make a list here showing the most common complaints single female members of the

2020-05-04 Randy Gilchrist Understanding women, Dating
Common Complaints from Men

Common Complaints from Men

This is my 200th short article for LDS Dimension and other associated sites on Facebook. Over the past 4+ years I have written these weekly articles on many different topics and focuses of special interest for single members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. As I was considering what topic to write on for this week, I remembered a recent comment made in a men’s Facebook group I was helping with. He basically said he didn’t feel that women even wanted to hear what single men’s

2020-04-27 Randy Gilchrist Understanding men, Dating
When to Vent

When to Vent

There are times when still acting in civil and respectful ways in a relationship is essential when you are actually feeling quite negative. It can simply be poor timing to fully open up about it all. Consider intense feelings of anger, resentment, pessimism, cynicism, and so on. When you are feeling in some of these highly negative ways, showing these feelings openly and fully at that moment can be taxing and will often create conflict and difficulties in relationships. This is especially true

2020-04-13 Randy Gilchrist Communication
Admiring the Opposite Sex

Admiring the Opposite Sex

In the 21st century the media and society often pit men and women against each other, as well as blur and confuse ideas about gender and gender differences. As a result, it is common for men and women today to possess an antagonism towards the opposite sex, as well as a confusion about gender and gender roles/traits. What effect does this antagonism and confusion have on dating and relationships? In short, a bad effect: it is very difficult to connect with and maintain a relationship with a

2020-04-06 Randy Gilchrist Understanding men, Understanding women, Dating
Emotional Affairs

Emotional Affairs

Technology has created many advantages and conveniences in modern life. Having access to endless websites, apps, and social media, and having your cell phone always with you can make life much easier and more convenient in many ways. However unfortunately, technology also allows for other problems to become easier to engage in as well, namely emotional affairs/infidelity. When in a (hopefully) committed relationship, online affairs through one’s computer or cell phone makes cheating easier and

2020-03-30 Randy Gilchrist Healthy relationships, Psychological health
What to Do While Homebound: Making the Most of Your Quarantine

What to Do While Homebound: Making the Most of Your Quarantine

At the time of this writing (3/15/20) the coronavirus/COVID-19 has led to the shutdown of schools, churches (including ours), and gatherings of over 10+ people. People are basically being asked to stay indoors at home as much as possible and to engage in “social distancing”. These circumstances led me to write this article with some ideas for handling times when you are homebound for any period of time for any reason. Whether you are at home because you are sick, feel too anxious to get out, or

2020-03-23 Randy Gilchrist Psychological health
Different Ways Men and Women Communicate

Different Ways Men and Women Communicate

The number one most common complaint I hear from men and women in couples therapy is that they are having difficulties with communication and want to communicate better with each other. In fact, I can’t remember any couples therapy I have ever done with a couple that did not include some version of this same goal. In this article I will review some of the main common differences in the primary gendered ways and purposes (but not the only ways and purposes) men and women communicate, along with

2020-03-16 Randy Gilchrist Understanding men, Understanding women, Communication
Dating Quotes by General Authorities

Dating Quotes by General Authorities

Whether you are a young adult, a mid-single, or a senior in the church dating scene, the advice from general authorities is for all. As members we can be served to remember the following scripture: “…whether by mine own voice or by the voice of my servants, it is the same.” (Doctrine & Covenants 1:38). The main servants of the Lord are what we now refer to as the “general authorities”. In general conference talks, general authorities have spoken numerous useful and helpful ideas, thoughts, and

2020-03-09 Randy Gilchrist Dating, Healthy relationships, Spirituality
What Men Want Women to  Know About Pornography

What Men Want Women to Know About Pornography

Pornography use among both single and married boys and men in our church—The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints—is a very touchy and controversial topic. Seemingly every priesthood session of conference has a talk about the evils of pornography, full of warnings, concerns, and instructions to repent of this evil and seek help. Since 2016, Utah as a state has even declared pornography a major health crisis (see:

2020-03-02 Randy Gilchrist Understanding men
Dating Conversations

Dating Conversations

One of the biggest determiners of whether or not an initial date goes well or not is how the conversation goes. People come home from a date deciding whether or not to have additional dates or not. A lot of this relates to how the talking and listening went, both directions. If it went well, there is a far greater chance more additional dates will happen and that a relationship will develop. If not—if the conversation was flat or contentious, the first date will likely be the last date. So

2020-02-18 Randy Gilchrist Dating
Dating Members Only

Dating Members Only

In the singles scene as members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, finding good members to date and eventually marry can be challenging. In addition to the normal challenges of finding a nice, decent, respectable person that is marriage material, there is an added challenge as well. There is also the difficulty of finding a fellow member of the church that, ideally is of decent church standing and activity that can eventually take you to the temple. Because of these double

2020-02-10 Randy Gilchrist Dating
Finding Mutual Interests

Finding Mutual Interests

In any dating relationship (and potential future marriage), a challenge exists every time: dealing with differences. One of the biggest challenges involves how a couple deals with different or discrepant interests and hobbies. Genders, personalities, and backgrounds differ, thus adding to differences with what each person in the relationship likes doing for fun and fulfillment. If this issue is not navigated well, frustration, contention, and resentment may develop, as well as distance and

2020-02-03 Randy Gilchrist Dating