Articles

Red Light Signals-- When They Aren't Interested

Red Light Signals-- When They Aren't Interested

by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) One of the hardest parts of the dating experience is noticing and concluding that someone you are interested is not interested in you in return. Part of the time it is obvious. Especially when the other person just comes out and says it to you: "I am not interested in you", "I don't think we are a match", "I don't feel the chemistry together", "I feel we are more friends", "I just don't feel the

2017-10-30 Carly Gordon Understanding men, Understanding women, Dating, Communication
Abusive Tactics in Relationships

Abusive Tactics in Relationships

by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) In previous articles I have reviewed the three most dangerous and difficult personality disorders a person can have: antisocial, narcissistic, and borderline. A person with traits of or a full diagnosis of any of those three conditions tend to be what we call in psychology "abusive", at worst extreme, "domestic violence offenders". Beware of people with any of those three personality disorder traits

2017-10-22 Randy Gilchrist Dating, Healthy relationships, Psychological health
Beware the Antisocial Personality

Beware the Antisocial Personality

by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) At about 10:00pm on October 1, 2017, a deranged individual named Stephen Paddock fired down thousands of rounds of gunfire from the 32nd floor of the Las Vegas Mandalay Bay Casino on the 22,000 concertgoers below. After 59 were killed and hundreds more injured, the world was left to make sense of it all. What drove him to this horrific act of bloodshed and horror? A week later at the time of the

2017-10-16 Randy Gilchrist Dating, Healthy relationships, Unhealthy relationships, Psychological health
Codependency: Maybe It's You?

Codependency: Maybe It's You?

by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) Even though "codependency" is not an official/formal psychological diagnosis in the DSM-V (the official book we psychologists get out classifications from), this is still a rather useful term in understanding certain unhealthy relational struggles and challenges. The origin of this term ties back to the group "Adult Children of Alcoholics", now more formally known as "Al-Anon"--the groups for family

2017-10-09 Randy Gilchrist Dating, Healthy relationships, Unhealthy relationships, Communication, Psychological health
Q & A--What Leads to Divorce  in LDS Marriages?

Q & A--What Leads to Divorce in LDS Marriages?

by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) Question: From your experience as a therapist for the church, what are the top 3 reasons for divorce? And what can singles do now to prepare for marriage that can eliminate/decrease those elements in future relationships? Answer: Yes, good question. I have worked with LDS couples in therapy for 20 years, including 5 years at LDS Family Services. Thinking about it, I'd say the following are

2017-09-30 Randy Gilchrist Healthy relationships
Beware the Borderline Personality

Beware the Borderline Personality

One of the most dangerous and difficult personality disorders to beware of in the dating world--LDS and otherwise--is the "Borderline Personality Disorder". What causes the Borderline Personality Disorder (or BPD) is unknown. Some studies have tied this disorder to having gone through extreme physical or sexual abuse, neglect, or abandonment, others to biological and hormonal factors. Still, the exact cause or causes is still unclear. This disorder is predominantly female and is truly a

2017-09-25 Randy Gilchrist Psychological health
Q & A: Help! He Won't Commit

Q & A: Help! He Won't Commit

by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) Question: I just discovered I'm in love.. and dating a guy that is ASPIE.. Intelligent (Boeing Engineer) BYU GRAD.. 53 yr old never married no kids.. I begun to suspect it in Feb of 2016.. he hides it really well.. he's fun and articulate. (I'm a librarian and most men simply aren't smart enough and I'm starved intellectually). So he's been dropping hints for more than a year but...he's never come

2017-09-18 Randy Gilchrist Dating
Narcissists--What to Watch For

Narcissists--What to Watch For

by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) In Greek mythology, Narcissus was a hunter known for his great beauty. He was proud, self-absorbed, and had great disdain towards those that family and friends that loved him. Narcissus eventually came across a reflective pool where he enjoyed looking at himself all day. In fact, Narcissus completely fell in love with his own reflection, not even realizing it was just a reflection. He stayed looking

2017-09-11 Randy Gilchrist Dating, Healthy relationships, Unhealthy relationships, Psychological health
Where to Find Your Next Relationship

Where to Find Your Next Relationship

by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) One of the most common complaints I hear from LDS singles from 18-80 is, "where can I meet someone?" And by someone, they are meaning a basically good, nice, decent fellow LDS single member who would make for good commitment material, perhaps even a temple marriage. Many complain that "there is nobody out there" or "all of the good ones are taken". Nobody? All of the good ones? Not true. And it's a

2017-09-03 Randy Gilchrist Dating
Discovering Players and  Fakers in the Dating World

Discovering Players and Fakers in the Dating World

by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) In the dating world, a common complaint often goes like this: "he was so nice in the beginning, but then…", or "she was great in the beginning, but then her dark side came out..". How will you know if a new dating prospect or partner is just a really a good person, or just putting their best foot forward with something far more ominous lurking beneath? That's the trick: to find out and choose

2017-08-28 Randy Gilchrist Dating
Should I Give Up Trying to Find Someone?

Should I Give Up Trying to Find Someone?

by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) Dating in the LDS Singles community can be fraught with emotional and psychological challenges: frustration, anger, sadness, resentment, jealousy, loneliness, self-esteem challenges, disappointment, bitterness, anxiety, guilt, and so on. Perhaps the most common challenge is the routine feeling of frustration over desiring to have someone to date and eventually marry, only to have relationships fail

2017-08-17 Randy Gilchrist Dating, Healthy relationships, Marriage preparation
Overcoming Being Needy or  Clingy in Relationships

Overcoming Being Needy or Clingy in Relationships

by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) As stated in my last article, "to be overly needy or clingy in a relationship is to be overly insecure and desirous of continual reassurance of one's acceptance and desirability". If you have determined you struggle with being needy or clingy and would like to change, I will offer a few ideas here to help you improve. Suggestion 1: Balanced Giving in Relationships If you are giving and trying

2017-08-12 Randy Gilchrist Dating, Healthy relationships, Communication
How LDS Dating Sites Work

How LDS Dating Sites Work

In the LDS singles community, there is an ebb and flow of dating sites that are around. The Catch-22 with any dating site is that it needs a critical mass of people to become useful, and people won’t use it until you have a critical mass, so it is very hard to get new people in at a fast enough pace to keep them interested and coming back. What I am to do in this article is touch briefly on a few and then explain how the 800 pound gorilla in this market segment, LDS Planet, manipulates you into

2017-08-12 Shawn Gordon Dating
Are You Needy or Clingy in Relationships?

Are You Needy or Clingy in Relationships?

by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) To be overly needy or clingy in a relationship is to be overly insecure and desirous of continual reassurance of one's acceptance and desirability. Such an approach to relationships may seem somewhat attractive or "cute" at first, but over time this tendency will wear thin and eventually repel the other partner. Neediness and clinginess will often drain a relationship over time until there is no more

2017-08-07 Randy Gilchrist Healthy relationships
My "White Paper" on LDS Singles

My "White Paper" on LDS Singles

In 2013 I was newly single and got heavily involved in the singles scene in church and was looking for ways to improve it at all levels as part of magnifying my calling as the Ward Singles Rep. I put together this set of notes, which doesn't really read like an article, but has a lot of useful information in it for all sorts of people. I've shared it with many other singles reps in the church since the time I wrote it and everyone has gotten a benefit from it. Please enjoy. Overview The

2017-07-30 Shawn Gordon Understanding men, Understanding women, Dating, Healthy relationships, Marriage preparation
Eliminating Relational Cynicism

Eliminating Relational Cynicism

by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) Cynicism is defined as "an inclination to believe that people are motivated purely by self-interest self-interest; skepticism" (source: Google dictionary). After suffering months, years, even decades of relational failures, frustrations, and pain; after suffer letdowns, breakups, even divorces, it can be quite easy and natural to become cynical about the opposite sex and relationships in general. We

2017-07-21 Randy Gilchrist Healthy relationships