Well into the 21st century, we enjoy many comforts and advantages from modern technology that have never before been available to people in the history of people. The significant advances from the last several decades are too many to list. These developments have affected most every aspect of life today. As a result, many activities, businesses, and ways of life have changed or even vanished. Some of the more notable advances that have impacted dating and relationships in specifically include the cell phone, the internet, social media, video games, texting, video chatting, photoshopping and filtering of images, and online dating. In this brief article I will review 3 of these main developments.
Changes from Technology:
*Online Dating Takes Over: when online dating was new in the 1990s, there was a negative stigma against this option. Online dating was initially seen as something only “desperate” people resorted to. However, the convenience and sheer quantity of people available online has lead to immense growth in this new way to meet and start relationships. Today, the stigma against online dating is virtually nonexistent, and most people spend at least part of their time meeting people through online pursuits. Online dating sites include both websites and apps, and some sites are focused on our church singles life specifically. The online dating site associated with the LDS Dating Facebook group is LDS Dimension at www.ldsdimension.com. Feel free to check it out.
One notable impact of online dating becoming so popular is that many people only look online for relationships and may give up socializing and trying to meet others live in person. This results in fewer singles attending singles wards and activities and less meeting and interacting in real life. In addition, this can hurt a person’s live relationship skills. Though online dating is a good tool and resource, it will never fuller replace live, face-to-face interactions so people only looking for new relationships may be frustrated when chemistry online may not translate to real life.
Suggestion: do at least 1 video chat before ever meeting anyone you meet online. Video chats are the closest thing to a live encounter and can help show some of the interpersonal chemistry (or lack thereof) before meeting. Also, balance attending positive live events and activities too and continue live meetings with others.
Social Media Takes Over: With Facebook, Instagram, Tik Tok, Twitter, and other forms of social media exploding in popularity, relationships are impacted as well. Many people overly share personal and private information about themselves online that they may not want a future dating prospect knowing. In addition, people strongly into social media often can actually become addicted to the likes, hearts, and compliments from online friends and strangers over interactions and acceptance from others in real life. This is a problem. Online acceptance and attention can be validating and flattering, but it can also create a dangerous dependance and further distancing people from real world relationships.
Suggestion: limit your time spent with social media. Balance the time you spend on social media with live meetings with friends and family, working, studying, and doing other healthy and enriching real-life activities and events. Also if needed, listen to this hypnosis session to help lessen your social media dependence: https://www.hypnosisdownloads.com/addiction-help/social-networking-addiction.
Video Games Take Over: in the early days of video games in the late 1970s-1990s, games were largely intended to be played for a short time only, usually for just a few minutes. Today, online video game playing is much more stimulating and often involves play with others from all around the world. Plus, these games are generally open-ended, easily lasting many hours. There are several impacts of excessive video game playing on dating and relationships. Sometimes, people meet, socialize, and even date from meeting through video games. But the main impact of excessive video game playing is mainly the avoidance of live, real life socializing. Modern video game playing is often so stimulating and engrossing that literally any real-life responsibility is often limited or avoided: dating and relationships, work, school, church, etc.
Suggestion: either avoid playing video games altogether or limit playing time. Decide before playing how much time you will spend playing a video game and set a timer. Minutes before the timer goes off, work to wind down the game to end it before or at the time of the alarm. If needed, consider listening to this hypnosis session to lessen or break an addiction to video games: https://www.hypnosisdownloads.com/addiction-help/gaming-addiction.
Final Thoughts:
Modern technological advances are a good thing in general when used with wisdom, moderation, and balance with other healthy live activities and responsibilities. Online dating, social media, and video game playing can be fun, stimulating, and engrossing. Positive results from them can include dating, relationships, and even marriage is possible through any of modalities. Use these tools and options as additional options but not replacements for real life interactions and exchanges. Please be careful with these resources and you will be happier with the results. And remember that “…neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord.”—1 Corinthians 11:1.
Dr. G
P.S. If you have any questions, comments, or a future article request for me, feel free to contact me at drgilchrist@yahoo.com.
| 2023-06-10 | Randy Gilchrist | Dating |
About the author
Hello, my name is Dr. Randy Gilchrist (aka "Dr. G"). I am a licensed clinical psychologist, a licensed marriage & family therapist, and a certified hypnotherapist in private practice in Roseville, CA (www.dr-rg.com), practicing since 1997. Also, I am happily married in the temple (Manti) since 1996 and have 4 sons. I am a volunteer writer and contributor to LDS Dimension. I use my training, education, and experience to share insights with LDS Dimension on all things of interest to the LDS dating community. Please read my articles and columns on this site to assist you in your online dating journey. Also, to be considered for an answer in a future Q and A column, please email me your dating/relationship oriented questions to drgilchrist@yahoo.com. Finally, I also offer a powerful, effective worldwide custom hypnosis recording service just for LDS Dimension members for weight loss, pornography, and many other issues of concern to those in the LDS dating community (please learn more now at www.dr-rg.com/lds; email me questions to drgilchrist@yahoo.com).