Articles

Assertive Communication Skills

Assertive Communication Skills

There are basically 3 types or styles of communication in the dating world, and with people in general: aggressive, passive, and assertive. In aggressive communication, wants, needs, and feelings are expressed openly and clearly, but at the expense of the feelings of others. Aggressive communication tactics include yelling, shouting, glaring, hands on hips, table pounding, etc. Aggressive tactics are another way of saying bullying tactics. Passive communication tactics, on the other hand, are

2019-03-04 Randy Gilchrist Communication
Positive Motivators to Date and Marry

Positive Motivators to Date and Marry

by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com FREE Online Dating Being members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, we know the church’s stance on marriage: that we need to do it. That we need to search it out and make it happen the best we can. There is some pressure, some guilt, some obligation underneath it all to have the ideal, traditional married family unit. To reinforce this, conference talks will regularly remind singles of this need, which can often

2019-02-24 Randy Gilchrist Dating, Marriage preparation
Dating Small Talk

Dating Small Talk

by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com FREE Online Dating Few factors matter more to the success or failure of a date than how the small talk goes. The chatter and discussion about a variety of big and little issues that encompasses the entire date from beginning to end. Good small talk will promote attraction, closeness, connection, understanding, and overall bonding. Poor small talk repels, discourages, and may even doom the relationship right then and there. So how

2019-02-17 Randy Gilchrist Dating, Communication
Tips for Long Distance Relationships

Tips for Long Distance Relationships

Tips for Long Distance Relationships by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com FREE Online Dating As single members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, it is preferable to date fellow active members that will hopefully, ideally, lead to an eventual temple marriage. However, unless you live in an area where there are many fellow local single members—Utah, Idaho, Arizona for example—it may be difficult to find, date, and marry an active member. Therefore

2019-02-11 Randy Gilchrist Dating, Healthy relationships
Avoiding Burnout in the Dating World

Avoiding Burnout in the Dating World

Sometimes people enter the dating world for the first time (or again after a breakup) and quickly find a new partner. However, most of the time it takes some time, especially when you are looking for an active church member to date. Months, years, even decades. The important thing to remember is that pushing forward in the dating world towards finding special that partner that is a keeper is usually more marathon than sprint. Pacing yourself will allow you to continue on for as long as needed.

2019-02-04 Randy Gilchrist Dating, Psychological health
Increasing Your Chances of Finding Someone

Increasing Your Chances of Finding Someone

In church circles, being single can be a frustrating situation. Finding that special someone to date and hopefully marry (ideally in the temple, ideally sooner versus later) can be especially challenging. Many good, high quality men and women who are basically active and worthy in the church can still find themselves single. This single status can often go on for years, decades, perhaps for the rest of their mortal lives. Why is this? Is this because such singles are “not worthy of love”? Is it

2019-01-28 Randy Gilchrist Dating, Communication
Keeping the Law of Chastity While Dating

Keeping the Law of Chastity While Dating

One of the most challenging issues facing all single members of the church is how to date, get engaged, and make it to marriage without crossing sexual (“intimate”) lines and having to work with the bishop in a repentance process. This challenge is often even more difficult when dating partners have been previously married or otherwise have sexual experience, making avoiding trouble that much more challenging. So, how can members of the church get through this dating process without breaking

2019-01-21 Randy Gilchrist Dating, Marriage preparation
Haunted by the Ex?

Haunted by the Ex?

by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com FREE Online Dating After a challenging relationship breakup or divorce, it is common to feel “haunted” by the ensuing pain. Common post breakup symptoms include flashbacks, nightmares, relationship triggers and reminders, displaced anger, as well as feelings of guilt, anxiety, and depression. You might try to avoid people, places, things, or situations that remind you of the ex. Alternatively, you might “stalk” the ex online or even

2019-01-07 Randy Gilchrist Healthy relationships, Psychological health
Dealing with His or Her Ex

Dealing with His or Her Ex

by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com FREE Online Dating If you are dating someone 25 years or older or especially someone over 30, there is a decent chance your new boyfriend or girlfriend will have already been married before. And there is also a good chance that he or she will have had at least 1 child with their ex-spouse, often more. When dating someone divorced with a child or children with their ex, they have to co-parent those children until they are 18 years

2018-12-31 Randy Gilchrist Dating, Healthy relationships, Conflict resolution
Getting Back Together with the Ex?

Getting Back Together with the Ex?

Are you tempted to try to get back together with your ex? Is your ex trying to get back with you? Should you do it? Does it matter if you were only dating versus married or engaged? Does it ever work out? These and other related questions are common when an ex wants to get back together with you. The true answer in all scenarios is…it depends. Maybe it is a good idea, maybe it isn’t. And ultimately the choice will be up to you. However, hopefully some ideas in this article can help you in your

2018-12-17 Randy Gilchrist Dating, Healthy relationships, Psychological health
Good Motivational Quotes & Ideas for Dating

Good Motivational Quotes & Ideas for Dating

In previous articles I have written about trying to work through past hurts and pains to help you get out there dating and trying again for a new relationship. See: https://www.ldsdimension.com/articles/snake-bitten-150 and https://www.ldsdimension.com/articles/getting-ready-for-another-relationship-111. Those are good articles if you need some direction, support, and ideas to work through your past hurts and issues. To compliment those ideas, I thought that I would create a little article

2018-12-10 Randy Gilchrist
Spiritual Standards in Dating

Spiritual Standards in Dating

What kinds of standards should you look for spiritually with the person you want to date? The answer you give to this question for yourself will often reflect your own current level of spirituality. We generally feel best and comfortable with a person roughly at our own level of spirituality, perhaps a small bit higher. So if you wish to be with a person at a certain level higher than yours, it might be a good idea to get your own spiritual self together and a desired level yourself before

2018-12-03 Randy Gilchrist Dating, Spirituality
Snake Bitten?

Snake Bitten?

According to the Urban Dictionary, to be snake bitten is to “…be cursed, extremely unlucky or destined to fail at anything you try.” When we have had failed relationships or marriages, it is pretty common to feel snake bitten. The worst part of feeling snake bitten in dating and relationships is that the fear of hurt and failure again can lead us to avoid or sabotage opportunities for relationship success. If we fear and even assume that a relationship will eventually fail, we will find a way

2018-11-25 Randy Gilchrist
Boundaries while Dating

Boundaries while Dating

One gray area while dating is the issue of how to behave with other members of the opposite sex now NOT your new girlfriend or boyfriend. While socializing and looking to find someone to date, it is common and encouraged to socialize and flirt with multiple people of the opposite sex as you have fun and search for connections. However, when you finally are dating someone exclusively—especially when you become serious and even engaged—it is important to make some shifts and adjustments to help

2018-11-12 Randy Gilchrist Dating
Persuasion Skills

Persuasion Skills

One touchy subject in relationships involves what to do when the other person refuses to change. If the other person in your relationship has some notable quirks, problems, challenges, or issues that notably bother you, you have several choices. You can: 1) break up with the other person, 2) argue, fight, and give them ultimatums to try to pressure them to change, or 3) just try to accept them as they are and live with the issues. But what if none of those 3 options are acceptable to you? If

2018-11-05 Randy Gilchrist Healthy relationships, Communication, Conflict resolution
Emotional Eating

Emotional Eating

When we feel difficult emotions, we often look to a quick, easy, convenient, powerful solution to ease, escape, or numb the pain. Emotions such as loneliness, boredom, stress, anxiety, depression, etc., often lead to a desire for quick relief. As members of the church attempting to maintain good standing in the faith, options utilized by many outside the church are not options. Such addictive outlets include alcohol, illicit drug use, gambling, sexually acting out, etc. Therefore, a very common

2018-10-29 Randy Gilchrist Psychological health, Health and fitness