Articles

Intergender Communication Skills in the LDS Singles Scene

Intergender Communication Skills in the LDS Singles Scene

The #1 macro level problem I see in the LDS Singles scene, is an utter lack of understanding of the opposite sex. I guess this is more of a societal problem in general, but we can take some steps to mitigate it. Women tend to think of men as just harrier women, without much thought of how fundamentally different men and women are. This is also a problem from the male perspective, but men are much more outcome based, whereas women are process based, and this means that women will tend to

2016-08-31 Shawn Gordon Marriage preparation, Communication
First Impressions

First Impressions

by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) First impressions are the initial idea you create about what a person is like/others create about you, based upon initial cues like tone of voice, body language, facial expressions, first words, and other immediate/superficial factors. Sometimes, initial impressions end up different than how we end up feelings towards or about a person. However, more often than not, the initial first impression we

2016-08-29 Randy Gilchrist Dating, Communication
Developing Dating Confidence

Developing Dating Confidence

by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) A lot of times in the dating world, LDS singles can suffer from a lack of confidence as dating partners. Sometimes a person's low dating confidence comes from a lack of experience. Other confidence issues arise from rarely going out/dating, being previously "dumped"/rejected, or other previous negative dating experiences. Of course, a lack of dating confidence can also originate from a person

2016-08-22 Randy Gilchrist Dating
Developing a Positive Attitude with Dating

Developing a Positive Attitude with Dating

by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) Single and LDS? Tired of the singles scene? Tired of the meat market? Then you are not alone. Many others in your situation have similar feelings. Perhaps previous dating has been unsuccessful. Maybe you have been let down, hurt, or frustrated in the past. It could be that previous promising relationships ended poorly and left you negative and pessimistic with the dating scene. Maybe after a

2016-08-11 Randy Gilchrist Dating, Healthy relationships, Communication, Psychological health
How to use Facebook effectively to meet people

How to use Facebook effectively to meet people

My husband and founder of LDS Dimension, Shawn Gordon, and I also run a group on Facebook called LDS Dating, which provides another way to meet and interact with people. After watching and helping many people meet both here and there, we have talked about things that can help people be more successful in our Facebook group. Here is the list we put together. 1.DO get involved in conversations on posts. This allows you to see who has similar ideals as yourself and may lead to continuing

2016-08-11 Carly Gordon Dating, Healthy relationships, Communication
Is He or She Compatible?

Is He or She Compatible?

by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) Dating in the LDS community is flush with emotion. Is he or she the right one? Are we really compatible? Should we get engaged? How can I know for sure? These are critical questions. No pressure, but consider this classic general authority quote from President Gordon B. Hickley: “The Lord has ordained that we should marry, that we shall live together in love and peace and harmony.… The time will

2016-08-03 Randy Gilchrist Dating, Healthy relationships, Spirituality
Judgement is not a 4 letter word

Judgement is not a 4 letter word

This might be the most oft quoted and wrongly applied part of the Holy Bible: Matthew 7:1-3 King James Version (KJV) 7:1 Judge not, that ye be not judged. 7:2 For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again. 7:3 And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye? I’m not sure how it is in Evangelical Christian circles, but in LDS circles, people throw

2016-07-30 Shawn Gordon Healthy relationships, Communication, Psychological health
Sexual Dysfunction in Marriage

Sexual Dysfunction in Marriage

by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) As LDS members, we have all probably heard the rule of thumb in regards to the law of chastity: complete abstinence before marriage, complete fidelity after marriage. Solo sexual outlets such as pornography or masturbation are a big no no as well. Young men and women growing up in the church hear regular talks and direction on guarding their virtue, and that sex outside of marriage is the third most

2016-07-29 Randy Gilchrist Healthy relationships, Unhealthy relationships, Marriage preparation
Forgiving and Letting Go

Forgiving and Letting Go

Forgiveness means something a little different when we talk about spiritual forgiveness versus psychological forgiveness. Both are important in a different way. From the lds.org topics section (https://www.lds.org/topics/forgiveness?lang=eng), forgiveness is defined as follows: "To forgive is a divine attribute. It is to pardon or excuse someone from blame for an offense or misdeed. The scriptures refer to forgiveness in two ways. The Lord commands us to repent of our sins and seek His

2016-07-25 Randy Gilchrist Dating, Healthy relationships, Psychological health
Stop Being a Hermit and Get Out!

Stop Being a Hermit and Get Out!

by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) A hermit is a person who is a homebody that rarely leaves the house beyond going to work or the store. A hermit socializes with others little and rarely goes out on dates (if ever). A hermit has largely given up socializing with most other people in general. They often possess social anxiety and/or social pessimism. Do you know a person like this? Are you a person like this? If so, the isolation and

2016-07-18 Randy Gilchrist Dating
Mind Reading in Relationships

Mind Reading in Relationships

by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) Back in 1994 at Brigham Young University, I did what most students did at that place at that time: take a marriage preparation course. I don't remember much from that course except for a particular section regarding expecting mind reading in relationships, and what a problem this can lead to. According to my professor and the text book, there is a common, troublesome phenomenon known as the "tender

2016-07-10 Randy Gilchrist Understanding men, Understanding women, Healthy relationships, Marriage preparation, Communication, Psychological health
Facebook Fakers

Facebook Fakers

How do you more easily spot fake profiles and fake groups on Facebook? What is a fake group about? While this article is generally useful in spotting fake profiles and groups, it is written around a specific use case scenario targeting a specific religious group. In this case we are looking at the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (LDS or Mormons) and what some fringe groups do to try and draw faithful members in and then inundate them with a bunch of garbage. A few years ago a

2016-07-02 Shawn Gordon Communication
Is Love Online Possible?

Is Love Online Possible?

by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) Question: I have a question Dr. Gilchrist: Is it possible to love someone who you haven't seen yet in person, but for the things he says over the phone and for the posts he does online? Answer: What a great question. Unfortunately, this is not a question that can easily be answered in a simple "yes" or "no" fashion. My short answer to this important question is, "kind of" and "to a degree", but

2016-06-25 Randy Gilchrist Dating, Healthy relationships
Overcoming Pornography

Overcoming Pornography

by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) In last week's article, I introduced pornography as the immense problem it is today, especially with boys and men. In this follow up article, I will review some simple, practical ideas you can use to prevent and overcome the problem of watching pornography. As an LDS psychologist, I've helped many members overcome this addiction over the years at LDS Family Services and in my private practice. In

2016-06-20 Randy Gilchrist Healthy relationships, Psychological health, Spirituality
Pornography: A Big Problem

Pornography: A Big Problem

by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) Pornography is a bigger problem today than it's ever been in the existence of mankind. Never before have pornographic images and videos been so conveniently and pervasively available. Pornography is just a few clicks or key words away on smart phones, tablets, and computers. In addition, movies, television, magazines, billboards, and many other mediums make pornography so easily and readily available

2016-06-12 Randy Gilchrist Healthy relationships, Marriage preparation, Psychological health, Spirituality
Body Image Challenges

Body Image Challenges

by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) Why do so many people--especially women--suffer from poor body image today? Why are so many so self-conscious about how they look? Why are so many obsessed with their supposed physical flaws, blemishes, and imperfections? Why are problems like anorexia, bulimia, and body dysmorphic disorder growing among so many girls and women, as well as some boys and men? Why is plastic surgery and endless other

2016-06-05 Randy Gilchrist Dating, Marriage preparation, Psychological health