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New Years ResolutionsWith most of 2022 ahead of us, this is an opportunity to make some new resolutions to live in a better, healthier, happier way in certain ways. Each new year brings with it new opportunities and a clean slate. I enjoy this clip from the movie Forrest Gump. As the ball is dropping in New Year’s Eve a woman with Forrest and Lieutenant Dan says in a thick New York accent, “I love New Years. Everyone gets a chance to start over”. True. Everything is possible, and the control and power is ours to
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Staying ActiveIn a previous article, I mentioned that the activity rate for singles in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints is approximately 20% for the men and 30% for the women (see: https://www.ldsdimension.com/articles/why-the-high-inactivity-rate-for-men-193/). These numbers are much lower than the approximately 50% activity rate for members in general. Being considered “active” according to my ward clerk is defined as attending sacrament meeting at least once a month. So why is it so much
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Dealing with the Fear of RejectionNo one likes rejection. At least, no one I’ve ever known. Part of the challenge is how it can be taken so personally. When a person has their dating hopes with another rejected, it can be tough to get over. Often, such social rejection can be taken as a complete rejection of the person someone is, even though this is generally not the case. These fears can lead to not only fewer dates and dating efforts, but also avoidance of others in general at church, work, and most any social setting. When
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President George Albert Smith Quotesn the past I have written articles reviewing quotes from particularly helpful general authorities with relevant ideas for singles. These articles have included quotes from Elder Jeffrey R. Holland (https://www.ldsdimension.com/articles/elder-jeffrey-r-holland-quotes-247/) and Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf (https://www.ldsdimension.com/articles/elder-uchtdorf-quotes-237/), as well one on the excellent “personal creed” of President George Albert Smith
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Why Marriage Today?There has perhaps never been as much pressure on the institution of marriage than there is today. Between negative attitudes and messages from the media, academia, research statistics, and society in general, marriage is under fire. Guys often hear the message today that marriage is legally and financially risky, with family court decisions tending to lean more towards favoring women. Many men today are worried about the overall risks and wonder is it if worth it. Women, on the other hand, have
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Being Hopeful in Single LifeThere are several ways to be single. You can be a person who has never been married. You can have had one or more divorces. Or you can be a widow/widower. Whatever your particular circumstance, most adult members of the church will be single at some point of their lives. The church recently revealed that for the first time ever, more adult church members are single than married—just over 50%. An April, 2021 Deseret News article stated the following: “…The majority of adult church members are
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Giving Honey and Not VinegarThere is a classic old saying, “you’ll catch more flies with honey than vinegar”. In other words, you will be more attractive to others and get further with others with a positive approach versus a negative one. So why do so many people show negativity with others in the dating and relationship world? Several possible reasons. Perhaps negativity, conflict, and contention was common in the family atmosphere they grew up with. Perhaps friends have given them bad relationship advice. Perhaps
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Alarming Worldly TrendsIn the New Testament, Christ tells his disciples to be “in the world” but not “of the world (John 19:14-16). That has become especially difficult today, but it’s not impossible. In the latter days, many troublesome times were prophesied of that we are now living in and seeing the fulfillment of: Now the Spirit speaketh expressly, that in the latter times some shall depart from the faith, giving heed to seducing spirits, and doctrines of devils; Speaking lies in hypocrisy; having their
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Attractors with Men: Unwritten Forces at WorkMen. We are pretty simple creatures for the most part. We may or may not be “easy” to deal with, depending on our personality and whatever other issues we may have. But otherwise, we are usually pretty simple. This especially involves what we are attracted to with women. From my experience both as a man and as a therapist seeing these forces at work, there are a few (3) key things that tend to find especially attractive with women. To understand these traits will help women know why they are or
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Attractors with Women: Unwritten Forces at WorkWe are members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. That common factor is what leads you to be reading this article at this time. As great as our church is, there are some natural, inherent challenges. In last week’s article I reviewed some common mixed messages that we have to navigate as active members trying to have it all and be it all. In this week’s article, it is not so much that a mixed message is given on this subject, but an incomplete message. In essence what I have
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Mixed Messages from Church?One thing I used to be rather bothered by as a single member: some mixed messages I noticed hearing in my wards, in general conference, etc. Over time and with additional life experience and wisdom, I have come to learn that mixed messages and contradictions given at church simply indicate the need to balance multiple issues, needs, and priorities at the same time. None will be done perfectly. Most of these contradictions involve careers, money, debt, and working versus other family and church
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Going Back to the Temple: Addressing and Eliminating ExcusesAs a single member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, it would be well worth your while to have a current temple recommend and regularly attend to the temple. Regular temple attendance would bless you with having the Spirit more often, which will help you be happy now and prepare you spiritually for your future marriage. Temple attendance will also help ease your emotional pains and scars from the past. Finally, going to the temple regularly will remind you of the eternal
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Being A Commitment-Oriented PersonIn the 2020s with both members and non-members of the church alike, commitment in relationships and marriage has become weak and strained. And harder to find and maintain than previous generations. While there are numerous societal shifts and factors that have contributed to this development, a primary contributor to this problem is technology and the immediate gratification that comes from it. With Facebook, Instagram, Match, Tinder, You Tube, Tik Tok, online gaming, etc., people and
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Online Dating—Picking a WinnerOnline dating today is more than just the traditional online dating websites. There are also dating apps, social media forums, video games, and many other ways to meet and connect online. In most social sites online, a person has a profile of some kind that possesses valuable information that can help you learn whether or not they would make for a good pick to date and relationship partner. And what the profile doesn’t show, you can then tactfully research and inquire about before meeting. In
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Catfishing: Beware of Scammers OnlineIf social media and online dating sites/apps aren’t the main way people are meeting in the 2020s, they soon will be. Online connections are becoming more and more mainstream. The common way that people today meet and interact. And while some people date and may even marry those they meet online, most will not lead to that result, just like in real life. Also, similar to real life, there are scammers out there. Frauds. Players. Charlatans. You know, those who will do a bait and switch—pretend to
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Making a Good Dating ProfileIn the 2020s and beyond, online dating is only getting bigger and bigger. Time limitations, geography, and many other challenges have made the convenience, flexibility, and quantity of options have helped make online dating more popular than ever. What was once seen as “desperate” is now common, acceptable, and destigmatized. In short, online dating is here to stay. There are traditional online dating websites, dating apps, and online forums and groups to choose from. Whatever your choice of
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