Articles

Sexual Dysfunction in Marriage

Sexual Dysfunction in Marriage

by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) As LDS members, we have all probably heard the rule of thumb in regards to the law of chastity: complete abstinence before marriage, complete fidelity after marriage. Solo sexual outlets such as pornography or masturbation are a big no no as well. Young men and women growing up in the church hear regular talks and direction on guarding their virtue, and that sex outside of marriage is the third most

2016-07-29 Randy Gilchrist Healthy relationships, Unhealthy relationships, Marriage preparation
Forgiving and Letting Go

Forgiving and Letting Go

Forgiveness means something a little different when we talk about spiritual forgiveness versus psychological forgiveness. Both are important in a different way. From the lds.org topics section (https://www.lds.org/topics/forgiveness?lang=eng), forgiveness is defined as follows: "To forgive is a divine attribute. It is to pardon or excuse someone from blame for an offense or misdeed. The scriptures refer to forgiveness in two ways. The Lord commands us to repent of our sins and seek His

2016-07-25 Randy Gilchrist Dating, Healthy relationships, Psychological health
Stop Being a Hermit and Get Out!

Stop Being a Hermit and Get Out!

by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) A hermit is a person who is a homebody that rarely leaves the house beyond going to work or the store. A hermit socializes with others little and rarely goes out on dates (if ever). A hermit has largely given up socializing with most other people in general. They often possess social anxiety and/or social pessimism. Do you know a person like this? Are you a person like this? If so, the isolation and

2016-07-18 Randy Gilchrist Dating
Mind Reading in Relationships

Mind Reading in Relationships

by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) Back in 1994 at Brigham Young University, I did what most students did at that place at that time: take a marriage preparation course. I don't remember much from that course except for a particular section regarding expecting mind reading in relationships, and what a problem this can lead to. According to my professor and the text book, there is a common, troublesome phenomenon known as the "tender

2016-07-10 Randy Gilchrist Understanding men, Understanding women, Healthy relationships, Marriage preparation, Communication, Psychological health
Facebook Fakers

Facebook Fakers

How do you more easily spot fake profiles and fake groups on Facebook? What is a fake group about? While this article is generally useful in spotting fake profiles and groups, it is written around a specific use case scenario targeting a specific religious group. In this case we are looking at the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (LDS or Mormons) and what some fringe groups do to try and draw faithful members in and then inundate them with a bunch of garbage. A few years ago a

2016-07-02 Shawn Gordon Communication
Is Love Online Possible?

Is Love Online Possible?

by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) Question: I have a question Dr. Gilchrist: Is it possible to love someone who you haven't seen yet in person, but for the things he says over the phone and for the posts he does online? Answer: What a great question. Unfortunately, this is not a question that can easily be answered in a simple "yes" or "no" fashion. My short answer to this important question is, "kind of" and "to a degree", but

2016-06-25 Randy Gilchrist Dating, Healthy relationships
Overcoming Pornography

Overcoming Pornography

by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) In last week's article, I introduced pornography as the immense problem it is today, especially with boys and men. In this follow up article, I will review some simple, practical ideas you can use to prevent and overcome the problem of watching pornography. As an LDS psychologist, I've helped many members overcome this addiction over the years at LDS Family Services and in my private practice. In

2016-06-20 Randy Gilchrist Healthy relationships, Psychological health, Spirituality
Pornography: A Big Problem

Pornography: A Big Problem

by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) Pornography is a bigger problem today than it's ever been in the existence of mankind. Never before have pornographic images and videos been so conveniently and pervasively available. Pornography is just a few clicks or key words away on smart phones, tablets, and computers. In addition, movies, television, magazines, billboards, and many other mediums make pornography so easily and readily available

2016-06-12 Randy Gilchrist Healthy relationships, Marriage preparation, Psychological health, Spirituality
Body Image Challenges

Body Image Challenges

by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) Why do so many people--especially women--suffer from poor body image today? Why are so many so self-conscious about how they look? Why are so many obsessed with their supposed physical flaws, blemishes, and imperfections? Why are problems like anorexia, bulimia, and body dysmorphic disorder growing among so many girls and women, as well as some boys and men? Why is plastic surgery and endless other

2016-06-05 Randy Gilchrist Dating, Marriage preparation, Psychological health
Boosting Self Esteem

Boosting Self Esteem

by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) In last week's article, I examined self-esteem--the degree that we value ourselves--and why it matters. In this week's article, I will present a number of ways to work to help boost and elevate our self-esteem and self-worth. Accordingly, here are a 5 ways to work each day to treat yourself better and eventually feel better towards and about yourself: 1) Stop criticizing yourself To criticize

2016-05-30 Randy Gilchrist Psychological health
Self-Esteem: It Matters

Self-Esteem: It Matters

by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) In psychology, self-esteem is defined by the Webster dictionary as "a feeling of having respect for yourself and your abilities". In other words, having self-esteem is having value and confidence towards yourself to be able to handle the rigors and disappointments of life. Sometimes as LDS members, we hear that we shouldn't strive for self-esteem, or that having self-esteem is bad or prideful. In

2016-05-21 Randy Gilchrist Healthy relationships, Marriage preparation, Psychological health, Spirituality
Sex Lives in Marriage Part 2

Sex Lives in Marriage Part 2

by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) As an extension of the article I wrote last week with the same title, I thought that this was an important enough topic to write more about, given many common misconceptions, dissatisfaction, and dysfunction existing in the area of sex lives amongst fellow LDS members. Once again, I will use the word "sex" instead of "intimacy" to make it very clear what I am referring to so there is no

2016-05-11 Randy Gilchrist Healthy relationships, Communication
Sex Lives in Marriage

Sex Lives in Marriage

by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) As LDS members, we generally have a strange, awkward relationship with the topic of sex. That's right, I said the word "sex". Can we as church members talk about this important, relevant topic openly? In short, yes, when it's done in a respectful manner. Becoming educated on this subject will help support, sustain, and enrich your eventual marriage. So why is the topic of "sex" in marriage rarely

2016-05-07 Randy Gilchrist Healthy relationships, Marriage preparation, Communication
Are We Spiritually Compatible?

Are We Spiritually Compatible?

by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) Compatibility is an essential requirement of a healthy, happy, successful, hopefully eternal marriage. Definitions of compatibility from the Webster's dictionary includes, "capable of existing together in harmony", as well as "designed to work with another device or system without modification". Interesting. There are many areas to consider when considering relationship compatibility (or lack

2016-04-29 Randy Gilchrist Healthy relationships, Spirituality
Overcoming Dating Anxiety

Overcoming Dating Anxiety

by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) One of the most limiting and self defeating challenges in the dating world is anxiety: fears, phobias, paranoia, insecurity, worries, "what ifs", etc. Dating anxiety often results from previous relationship wounds. Maybe you grew up in a highly contentious home. Maybe your parents divorced and/or had a highly conflicted relationship. Perhaps previous dating partners (or an ex spouse) hurt you and let

2016-04-19 Randy Gilchrist Dating, Healthy relationships, Communication
Ask Dr. G--LDS Dating Q & A

Ask Dr. G--LDS Dating Q & A

by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, Licensed Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (free LDS online dating site) Wolves in Sheep's Clothing Question: Hi Dr. G: I am a divorced mother of three, divorced for 12 years. I have dated, I am LDS, and live in Utah county. Our religion in Utah is different than outside of Utah. I am exhausted. I have never met so many wolves in sheep's clothing, I don't want to give up, but how do I change this? Also, how do I identify if it's me or them? Not everything or

2016-04-15 Randy Gilchrist Dating