Articles

A Naturally Excellent Woman

A Naturally Excellent Woman

Over the years, clients have occasionally asked me who they think represents an ideal woman in the movies. Women have also sometimes asked me who I think an ideal woman is to strive to be like in a relationship and who represents the ideal. Men have also sometimes asked if an ideal woman exists in the movies as well to help them know what to look for and who to choose. I have thought about it and out of all of the women I have seen in the movies, one woman to me represents the ideal woman, wife

2021-02-22 Randy Gilchrist Understanding men, Understanding women, Dating
Social Anxiety: A Problem to Manage

Social Anxiety: A Problem to Manage

Social anxiety is a common and troubling challenge among most people, especially single members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. It is often a misunderstood, frustrating issue. Therefore, the purpose of this article is to give a brief introduction to the disorder, as well as offer some ideas and suggestions to help you lessen and control this problem. Social Anxiety can be defined as follows: The defining feature of social anxiety disorder, also called social phobia, is

2021-02-14 Randy Gilchrist Dating, Psychological health
Elder Jeffrey R. Holland Quotes

Elder Jeffrey R. Holland Quotes

Some general authorities have a reputation for giving strong emotional support, warmth, empathy, and guidance. One such general authority is Elder Jeffrey R. Holland from the quorum of the twelve apostles. In this article, several of his quotes will be shared that can have particular importance, relevance, and applicability to singles. I would encourage you to read these quotes, take them to heart, and find ways to apply this wisdom and direction to your life. You will be glad you

2021-02-08 Randy Gilchrist
Q&A: How Can I Trust My Choices?

Q&A: How Can I Trust My Choices?

Question: Hi Randy: How do you get over the discouragement and mistrust of your own judgment? I did everything I was ever supposed to do and still ended up married to a very not good person. I've never had a drink, a cigarette, done drugs, always been active in church, did my callings, served a mission, stayed chaste, I knew my husband for over a year before we got married, and we were married in the temple. I even did therapy to deal with past trauma before marriage. I did everything I was

2021-02-01 Randy Gilchrist Dating, Marriage preparation
Being Less Socially Awkward

Being Less Socially Awkward

Being socially awkward is a common problem for singles, including single members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. What does it mean to be “socially awkward”? It basically means coming across as nervous or tense around others in a social situation. This generally makes others feel uncomfortable, even repelled. Social awkwardness is basically a combination of a lack of social skills in combination with social anxiety. Taken together, it tends to create an unpleasant atmosphere

2021-01-18 Randy Gilchrist Dating
Applying Nephi’s Teaching to Singles

Applying Nephi’s Teaching to Singles

There are many teachings from Nephi in the Book of Mormon that can give special insights, direction, and instruction for single members in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. This brief article will review three particular lessons from Nephi that you can hopefully apply to your life. Please review and enjoy: Lessons from Nephi: 1) You can do anything you are commanded to do. That includes your callings, keeping the commandments, your search for a spouse, and anything else the

2021-01-11 Randy Gilchrist Dating, Spirituality
Long-Distance Relationships (LDRs)

Long-Distance Relationships (LDRs)

One reality of dating and relationships today for single members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints is this: if you are going to date and hopefully marry an active, solid member of the church, you may have to participate in a long-distance relationship (aka LDR). Why? Because either you live in an area with few active single members or you have a decent amount of members around you but just need fresh, new options. Everyone suddenly has a much bigger pool of dating options when

2021-01-04 Randy Gilchrist Dating
Enduring to the End…Single?

Enduring to the End…Single?

Many times in the scriptures we are told to “endure to the end”. For instance, Christ told the Nephites, “Behold, I am the law, and the light. Look unto me, and endure to the end, and ye shall live; for unto him that endureth to the end will I give eternal life” (3 Nephi 15:9). So, what does that mean? From my understanding, this means staying active in church and being faithful to your baptismal covenants until you die. Keeping temple covenants too, where applicable. Keep active, keep having

2020-12-21 Randy Gilchrist Dating, Spirituality
Marriage Fuel

Marriage Fuel

I’ve heard it said before that a marriage can be thought of as a living organism. Like any organism, “the marriage” can starve and die if it doesn’t receive the proper and adequate nutrition it needs. And even though there are many different forms of relational nutrition for a marriage, I wanted to highlight 2 forms in particular. Below I will share arguably the 2 top marital fuels that are important to a marriage: one for men and one for women. Hopefully when you marry, you can remember this

2020-12-14 Randy Gilchrist Marriage preparation
Evolutionary Psychology

Evolutionary Psychology

Evolutionary psychology is a psychological theory that includes the ideas that men and women are different physically, psychologically, and emotionally in certain key ways. These differences evolved over many thousands or millions of years of human evolution and exist instinctively and genetically because these traits promoted successful survival and reproduction over the years in some fashion. Each complimentary trait somehow helps each gender best promote reproduction, healthy offspring, and

2020-12-07 Randy Gilchrist Dating, Psychological health
Being Approachable

Being Approachable

A lot of times, people in the singles/dating world get frustrated with a number of common issues and challenges. One of the more common frustrations involves people being unhappy that others do not approach them or keep wanting to interact after a brief exchange. If you are noticing that you are rarely approached or your conversations with others are usually brief, tense, or awkward, there are probably reasons for this. Are you not rich, good looking, or popular enough? I don’t know. Maybe

2020-11-23 Randy Gilchrist Dating
Money Matters

Money Matters

A touchy subject in the dating and relationship world is money. When joining lives together, wherever you and the other person is at financially is significant. Basically, there are two main components of this issue: income and debt. Adding to these two issues is credit score. When a person’s income/assets are notably greater than their debt, the better off they are financially and have a “positive net worth”. Conversely, the greater the person’s debt relative to their income and assets, the

2020-11-14 Randy Gilchrist Finance
Elder Uchtdorf Quotes

Elder Uchtdorf Quotes

In my opinion, one of the most supporting, loving, and insightful general authorities is Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf. He is the former “President Uchtdorf” when he was in the First Presidency with Pres. Monson (2008-2018), and then “Elder Uchtdorf” again, back in the Quorum of the Twelve. Anyway, in this article I am going to post a few of his quotes that I feel can be helpful and useful to single members (and most people in general). If you really enjoy him and would like to read, listen to, or

2020-11-08 Randy Gilchrist Spirituality
Ways to Feed Your Marriage

Ways to Feed Your Marriage

There are several elements that research shows makes for a happy marriage, which will be reviewed in this article. If you have been married before or are looking forward towards your first marriage, follow the suggestions here in this little article to have a happy, healthy, lasting, and hopefully eternal marriage. If you think of a marriage as a living organism, it can die either through being killed through conflict, or by being starved through neglect. This article will review some key ways

2020-11-02 Randy Gilchrist Marriage preparation
Mean Girls

Mean Girls

As members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, there shouldn’t be a need for an article on “mean girls”, right? Unfortunately, yes there is. This phenomenon exists in wards and in other church circles just like elsewhere else. Mean girls are just that—girls/women who are mean to each other in certain ways mainly particular to females. This “mean” treatment of others hits a peak in the junior high and high school years, although it generally begins in elementary school and can

2020-10-25 Randy Gilchrist Dating, Marriage preparation
Virtue Signaling

Virtue Signaling

Among religious members, virtue signaling is pretty common and prevalent. The same could be said among groups of singles. If you combine the two together, virtue signaling becomes commonplace among single members of our church. Why do people do this? Partly because of insecurity, but mainly as an effort to make them more attractive or impressive in some fashion—although the opposite effect often occurs. In single church circles specifically, the aim is often to come across as more spiritual

2020-10-19 Randy Gilchrist Psychological health