Articles

Why Not Me?

Why Not Me?

by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) Sometimes LDS singles wonder things like “why not me?”, “why haven’t I found someone yet (or again)?”, “why does it seem like it always works out for everyone else?”, “what is wrong with me?”, “what do others have that I must be lacking?”, and so on. It can shake our confidence to the core as the months, years, even decades go by still single. It becomes easy to question ourselves and others around

2018-07-09 Randy Gilchrist Dating, Healthy relationships, Unhealthy relationships
Selfishness—the Destroyer of Marriage

Selfishness—the Destroyer of Marriage

by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) When it comes to marriage, selfishness is the great destroyer. Selfishness is defined by dictionary.com as “devoted to or caring only for oneself; concerned primarily with one's own interests, benefits, welfare, etc., regardless of others; manifesting concern or care only for oneself”. Primarily caring about oneself in a marriage often leads to neglect, hurtfulness, and a lack of consideration

2018-07-02 Randy Gilchrist Healthy relationships
When Your Current Partner Pays for What the Ex Did

When Your Current Partner Pays for What the Ex Did

Past Relationship Carryover: When Your Current Partner Pays for What the Ex Did by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) Unfortunately, after a former dating partner or spouse hurts a person greatly, there is a risk, if they are not careful and conscientious, of making the current relationship partner pay for and suffer for what the ex did. No, this is not fair, right, or even logical. Even worse, such inappropriate, paranoid

2018-06-25 Randy Gilchrist Healthy relationships
Breaking Out of Introversion

Breaking Out of Introversion

by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) Being introverted often causes major challenges and hurdles for LDS singles trying to meet, date, and marry. Introversion is defined by dictionary.com as “the act of directing one's interest inward or to things within the self; the state of being concerned primarily with one's own thoughts and feelings rather than with the external environment”. In other words, people who are introverted are mainly

2018-06-17 Randy Gilchrist Dating, Communication
When Are Advances Welcome?

When Are Advances Welcome?

by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) One of the trickiest parts of being an LDS single (or a single in general) can be determining if a new love interest you are getting to know is in fact interested in return and welcome to your advances. Tricky because what may have been hoped to be romantic, exciting, and connective may actually be unwelcome advances. Even worse, you can come across as creepy, unwanted, and even harassing. So, how

2018-06-12 Randy Gilchrist Understanding men, Understanding women, Dating
Don’t Be a Victim!

Don’t Be a Victim!

by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) Many of those in the LDS singles community can relate to the idea that they have been victimized by a previous dating partner, fiancé, or ex-spouse. Perhaps that describes you. Was your ex boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse verbally abusive? Physically abusive? Sexually abusive? Neglectful? Did they have addiction problems (drugs, alcohol, gambling, pornography)? Infidelity (actual cheating, emotional

2018-06-04 Randy Gilchrist Healthy relationships, Communication, Psychological health
New to the Dating World Again?

New to the Dating World Again?

by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) If you have been in a serious, long term relationship, an engagement, or even a marriage, it can be challenging to suddenly find yourself single again after all of that time. You likely thought you wouldn’t ever be here again in this position. Thinking singlehood and the dating life was behind you, suddenly you are here again. It can be a shock and a challenging transition. Even when you saw it

2018-05-21 Randy Gilchrist Dating, Healthy relationships
Friends or Frenemies?

Friends or Frenemies?

by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) For LDS singles, friends play an important role. Besides helping to lessen loneliness and providing bonding, fun, and companionship, same sex friends can have a large impact on your dating prospects and experience. However, what varies is the degree to which certain friends actually help your dating opportunities and successes—or, in the end, hinder them. Beware the Frenemy Have you ever heard

2018-05-07 Randy Gilchrist Healthy relationships
Giving Positive Energy

Giving Positive Energy

by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) I am about to discuss something that is probably going to sound extremely obvious in writing. However, unfortunately in real life, this topic is often ignored or not considered. The topic is simple: energy. The energy we give off and present to others in the LDS singles/dating environment. Positive energy will attract, negative energy will either repel or will attract the wrong kind of person. So

2018-04-30 Randy Gilchrist Dating, Spirituality
Uptight: The Obsessive  Compulsive Personality

Uptight: The Obsessive Compulsive Personality

by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) In past articles, I have written about the personality disorders I have seen create great conflict in the LDS singles scene with dating and relationships in general. Those personality disorders previously addressed have consisted of antisocial, narcissistic, borderline, and histrionic. There is one more personality disorder that I wish to discuss to also help you beware of. It is lesser known, but

2018-04-23 Randy Gilchrist Dating, Communication, Psychological health
Can You Grow to Be Attracted to Someone?

Can You Grow to Be Attracted to Someone?

by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) In many LDS singles scenes, friendships and connections are common. Romantic relationship, less so. Romantic attraction is a mysterious mixture of physical appeal, personality, and other intangibles. All of these factors taken together add up to feeling like “more than friends”. A common frustration in singles scenes occurs when a person theoretically or practically “seems like” they would be a good

2018-04-16 Randy Gilchrist Dating, Healthy relationships
Histrionic Personality Disorder:  All Sizzle, No Sausage

Histrionic Personality Disorder: All Sizzle, No Sausage

Definition Individuals with histrionic personality disorder exhibit excessive emotionality—a tendency to regard things in an emotional manner—and are attention seekers. People with this disorder are uncomfortable or feel unappreciated when they are not the center of attention. Behaviors may include constant seeking of approval or attention, self-dramatization, theatricality, and striking self-centeredness or sexual seductiveness in inappropriate situations, including social, occupational

2018-04-09 Randy Gilchrist Psychological health
Single and Feeling Like a  Second Class Member?

Single and Feeling Like a Second Class Member?

by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) The emphasis on marriage and family in the church can be a double-edged sword. When married and with kids, most members feel validated as a complete, whole member because of the tremendous church emphasis on getting married and having kids. Unfortunately, conversely, members—whether married or not—without kids often feel like they do not fit in. In addition, single members with or without kids often

2018-04-02 Randy Gilchrist Healthy relationships, Communication, Spirituality
Non-Verbal Communication

Non-Verbal Communication

by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) There is an old saying: it’s not what you say, it’s how you say it. Some theorize that 90%+ of communication comes from non-verbal communication: tone of voice, body language, and facial expression, with the final 10% or so being the actual, literal words being used in the discussion. With those numbers in your mind, it becomes easier to see how common miscommunications, offenses, and erroneous

2018-03-26 Randy Gilchrist Communication
Appreciating the Opposite Sex

Appreciating the Opposite Sex

by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) Today, the media is more present and prevalent in our lives today: TV, internet, radio, social media, 24/7 news coverage and talk shows, etc. In the digital and internet age, there is no end to the media and public opinion. Unfortunately, much of the media has found over the years that it will increase viewers/listeners/readers/ratings by instilling some combination of the following three negative

2018-03-15 Randy Gilchrist Dating, Healthy relationships
Inspiration or Hormones?

Inspiration or Hormones?

by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) One of the challenges of single LDS dating life is determining if the partner you are dating is indeed, a good person to commit to, which can make dating a stressful time at points. Determining along the way if a relationship is good and healthy enough to proceed with to the next level can be daunting. Questions like, “should I date this person exclusively?”, “should I get engaged to this person?”

2018-03-05 Randy Gilchrist Dating, Marriage preparation