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Can You Grow to Be Attracted to Someone?by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) In many LDS singles scenes, friendships and connections are common. Romantic relationship, less so. Romantic attraction is a mysterious mixture of physical appeal, personality, and other intangibles. All of these factors taken together add up to feeling like “more than friends”. A common frustration in singles scenes occurs when a person theoretically or practically “seems like” they would be a good
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Histrionic Personality Disorder: All Sizzle, No SausageDefinition Individuals with histrionic personality disorder exhibit excessive emotionality—a tendency to regard things in an emotional manner—and are attention seekers. People with this disorder are uncomfortable or feel unappreciated when they are not the center of attention. Behaviors may include constant seeking of approval or attention, self-dramatization, theatricality, and striking self-centeredness or sexual seductiveness in inappropriate situations, including social, occupational
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Single and Feeling Like a Second Class Member?by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) The emphasis on marriage and family in the church can be a double-edged sword. When married and with kids, most members feel validated as a complete, whole member because of the tremendous church emphasis on getting married and having kids. Unfortunately, conversely, members—whether married or not—without kids often feel like they do not fit in. In addition, single members with or without kids often
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Non-Verbal Communicationby Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) There is an old saying: it’s not what you say, it’s how you say it. Some theorize that 90%+ of communication comes from non-verbal communication: tone of voice, body language, and facial expression, with the final 10% or so being the actual, literal words being used in the discussion. With those numbers in your mind, it becomes easier to see how common miscommunications, offenses, and erroneous
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Appreciating the Opposite Sexby Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) Today, the media is more present and prevalent in our lives today: TV, internet, radio, social media, 24/7 news coverage and talk shows, etc. In the digital and internet age, there is no end to the media and public opinion. Unfortunately, much of the media has found over the years that it will increase viewers/listeners/readers/ratings by instilling some combination of the following three negative
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Inspiration or Hormones?by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) One of the challenges of single LDS dating life is determining if the partner you are dating is indeed, a good person to commit to, which can make dating a stressful time at points. Determining along the way if a relationship is good and healthy enough to proceed with to the next level can be daunting. Questions like, “should I date this person exclusively?”, “should I get engaged to this person?”
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Relationship Advice: Where to Go (and Not Go)by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) In the dating world—both as LDS and non-LDS singles, it is common and often good to look for new, quality relationship advice: what to do, what not to do, who to date, who not to date, how to proceed and progress, etc. Getting an outside opinion and outside information can be a smart thing. Otherwise if we keep simply trusting our own judgement and choosing the same kinds of people and going about
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Money Issuesby Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) Most couples fight about money. Paul says in the scriptures that the “love of money is the root of all evil” (I Timothy 6:10). And yet, goods and services cost money and there is no getting around the need to deal with money and money issues. Research and clinical practice have shown that usually (but not every time) women complain that their husbands don’t earn enough and husbands complain that
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In-Law Issuesby Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) There are a short list of about 5 common issues I see most in my office as a couples/marriage therapist. These issues include communication/conflict resolution issues, money/work, sex, addictions, and in-law issues. In-law issues can loosely relate to a partner’s parents, siblings, other extended family, and even in a sense, their close friends as well. One of the biggest challenges that quickly
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Communication No Nos—The 4 Horsemenby Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) John Gottman is understood to be a world’s leading expert in marriage and marital research out of the University of Washington. For decades he has observed thousands of couples in his “love lab” where he tapes, codes, tracks, and statistically follows and makes predictions about couples based upon how they behaviorally treat each other. Dr. Gottman can predict with a high degree of accuracy which
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When Traditional Husband and Wife Roles Aren’t Possibleby Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) The Lord in his wisdom created man and woman with different thoughts, feelings, instincts, and roles. From the beginning, man and woman, husband and wife were created and assigned the following roles: Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee. And unto
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Scriptural Examples for Singles: Nephi and Moroniby Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) Nephi of old demonstrated that an excellent use of the scriptures is to liken them unto ourselves. He says: “Now it came to pass that I, Nephi, did teach my brethren these things; and it came to pass that I did read many things to them, which were engraven upon the plates of brass, that they might know concerning the doings of the Lord in other lands, among people of old. And I did read many things
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Valuing Femininityby Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) In today’s world, the media, society, and academics often create and perpetuate antagonism between the genders, especially from women towards men. That which is considered masculine is often promoted and sought after by women over men. Masculine traits have been deemed by society as the desirable traits for women to ascribe to, and feminine traits have been deemed the weak traits, and have been left
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Trying Too Hardby Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) A good rule of thumb in life: the problems in life tend to occur at the extremes. In dating and searching for an eternal companion, that can equate to trying too hard to find a spouse or not trying hard enough. But what does it mean to “try too hard”? It simply means when with a potential new love interest, you make notably more efforts than the other person: giving significantly more time, energy
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Anger Management Ideasby Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) One of the main causes of pain, stress, trauma, and resentment in a dating or married relationship is when one or both partners has a big problem with anger management. Years ago when I was a new intern therapist at Utah State University's marriage & family therapy program, I worked at a non-profit social service agency named The Family Connection Center in Clearfield. My first duty was the
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Getting Ready for Another Relationshipby Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) Almost all LDS singles have had their heart broken at least once before. Divorce, failed engagement, or just regular breakups result in different levels of pain, frustration, and emotional scars. Until and unless a relationship is forever, the rest…won't be. Resulting from such pain involves a natural and understandable phenomenon that I call the "self protect" syndrome. This refers to part inside
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