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Dating—Continuing to TryOne of the hardest things to do in life is to keep trying after past frustrations, failures, heartache, and heartbreak. This is especially true in the case of the dating world. Unreturned interest, ghosting, tough break ups, divorce and custody situations…there are many ways relationships can go badly. Understandably after such pain and disappointment, many people are tempted to give up the dating and relationships in general. Once a person feels snake bitten, it can be tough to keep trying.
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Stop Beating Yourself UpAs we know, one of the central tenants as members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints is marriage, especially the ideal of getting married in the temple. But…that ideal doesn’t work out for everyone, at least as planned. Some will never get married in this life for various reasons. Others will divorce. Whether or not marriage (or remarriage) will happen for you in this life will be shown over time. Just stay active, faithful, and keep trying. In the meantime, what do you tell
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When the Infatuation LeavesOne of the most enjoyable aspects of the beginning of a relationship is the infatuation phase. Often this time involves extremely powerful feelings of excitement, passion, obsession, daydreaming, butterflies, etc. The purpose of the infatuation phase of a relationship is to be a quick and powerful agent to bring people together and get things started and going. Endorphins, dopamine, adrenaline, oxytocin flow strongly and freely. It seems for a while that permanent bliss will be present forever
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Your Ideal Weight?Weight is a touchy subject among church members, singles, and people in general. What is the ideal weight? Depends on how you look at it. Some sides of modern society and the media promote self-acceptance of weight and body image, whatever the weight. Such approaches to weight approach the issue from a personal self-esteem and self-worth angle (i.e., a psychological and emotional perspective). From a different dating perspective, getting into better shape is usually a bonus to attract a new
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Are You Comfortable Single?Some of you reading this have always been single, others have been divorced, still others, widowed. Whatever you circumstance, you are most likely a single member of the church if you are reading this. How should you feel about being single? If you have a history of being in unhealthy, unhappy relationships in the past, you might understandably feel relieved, peaceful, even content. And truly, being single and alone can truly be a much better position to be in then being in an unhealthy
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Online Dating Profile TipsToday your online dating profile will go a long way to determine whether a dating prospect will consider you or not. Often, people will be turned off by your profile and either never give you a chance or they will ghost you after some brief exchanges if they don’t like what they see. Rarely will they ever let you know specifically why they lost interest. If the conversation was good but they still drop out of interacting with you, there is a decent chance the main reason was because of
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Game Playing in the Dating WorldA common complaint in the dating world involves love interests playing games. This can be frustrating, confusing, and upsetting. Why would a person that is interested in you and you are interested in as well choose to play games? There are several possible reasons. First of all, some people play games to draw reactions out of the other person to reveal their interest when the other’s interest is unsure or unclear. Second, some play games as revenge for perceived slights or offenses. Third
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Assertive Communication SkillsThere are basically 3 types or styles of communication in the dating world, and with people in general: aggressive, passive, and assertive. In aggressive communication, wants, needs, and feelings are expressed openly and clearly, but at the expense of the feelings of others. Aggressive communication tactics include yelling, shouting, glaring, hands on hips, table pounding, etc. Aggressive tactics are another way of saying bullying tactics. Passive communication tactics, on the other hand, are
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Positive Motivators to Date and Marryby Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com FREE Online Dating Being members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, we know the church’s stance on marriage: that we need to do it. That we need to search it out and make it happen the best we can. There is some pressure, some guilt, some obligation underneath it all to have the ideal, traditional married family unit. To reinforce this, conference talks will regularly remind singles of this need, which can often
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Dating Small Talkby Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com FREE Online Dating Few factors matter more to the success or failure of a date than how the small talk goes. The chatter and discussion about a variety of big and little issues that encompasses the entire date from beginning to end. Good small talk will promote attraction, closeness, connection, understanding, and overall bonding. Poor small talk repels, discourages, and may even doom the relationship right then and there. So how
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Tips for Long Distance RelationshipsTips for Long Distance Relationships by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com FREE Online Dating As single members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, it is preferable to date fellow active members that will hopefully, ideally, lead to an eventual temple marriage. However, unless you live in an area where there are many fellow local single members—Utah, Idaho, Arizona for example—it may be difficult to find, date, and marry an active member. Therefore
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Avoiding Burnout in the Dating WorldSometimes people enter the dating world for the first time (or again after a breakup) and quickly find a new partner. However, most of the time it takes some time, especially when you are looking for an active church member to date. Months, years, even decades. The important thing to remember is that pushing forward in the dating world towards finding special that partner that is a keeper is usually more marathon than sprint. Pacing yourself will allow you to continue on for as long as needed.
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Increasing Your Chances of Finding SomeoneIn church circles, being single can be a frustrating situation. Finding that special someone to date and hopefully marry (ideally in the temple, ideally sooner versus later) can be especially challenging. Many good, high quality men and women who are basically active and worthy in the church can still find themselves single. This single status can often go on for years, decades, perhaps for the rest of their mortal lives. Why is this? Is this because such singles are “not worthy of love”? Is it
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Keeping the Law of Chastity While DatingOne of the most challenging issues facing all single members of the church is how to date, get engaged, and make it to marriage without crossing sexual (“intimate”) lines and having to work with the bishop in a repentance process. This challenge is often even more difficult when dating partners have been previously married or otherwise have sexual experience, making avoiding trouble that much more challenging. So, how can members of the church get through this dating process without breaking
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Haunted by the Ex?by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com FREE Online Dating After a challenging relationship breakup or divorce, it is common to feel “haunted” by the ensuing pain. Common post breakup symptoms include flashbacks, nightmares, relationship triggers and reminders, displaced anger, as well as feelings of guilt, anxiety, and depression. You might try to avoid people, places, things, or situations that remind you of the ex. Alternatively, you might “stalk” the ex online or even
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Dealing with His or Her Exby Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com FREE Online Dating If you are dating someone 25 years or older or especially someone over 30, there is a decent chance your new boyfriend or girlfriend will have already been married before. And there is also a good chance that he or she will have had at least 1 child with their ex-spouse, often more. When dating someone divorced with a child or children with their ex, they have to co-parent those children until they are 18 years
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