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Getting Ready for Another Relationshipby Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) Almost all LDS singles have had their heart broken at least once before. Divorce, failed engagement, or just regular breakups result in different levels of pain, frustration, and emotional scars. Until and unless a relationship is forever, the rest…won't be. Resulting from such pain involves a natural and understandable phenomenon that I call the "self protect" syndrome. This refers to part inside
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Feminism Versus Masculinityby Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) In 1995, the First Presidency released The Family: A Proclamation to the World, which included the following: All human beings—male and female—are created in the image of God. Each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and, as such, each has a divine nature and destiny. Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and
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Rescue, Fix, and Save: White Knightsby Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) Cinderella. Snow White. Sleeping Beauty. Other classic Disney princesses. What do they all have in common? They were all rescued and saved from their unhealthy, unhappy existence from a man all too eager and willing to save them. A prince. A knight on a white horse. A white knight coming in to make it all better. Cinderella was saved from her wicked stepmother. Snow White was saved from a jealous
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When to Date Again When You Have Kidsby Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) In the "LDS Dating" Facebook group that I help moderate, I recently received a private message from a group member asking for some direction. Apparently, her ex husband was wanting to date again, but their teenager wasn't wanting him to and wasn't ready. Technically, whether her ex husband decides to date again or not under her control. However, the general topic is worth more attention: after
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Flirting Skillsy Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) In our LDS community, flirting takes on an important role in the development of relationships, dating, and the path towards marriage. Because we have scriptural edicts in our church to "love one another", "love your neighbor", and even "love your enemies", LDS singles circles tend to have a lot of general "friendships" and "friend-like interactions". At the least minimally "civil" associations tend to
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Don't Be a Creeper, Be a Keeperby Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) A "creeper", according to the Urban Dictionary, is basically "a male whose uncertain behavior or looming mysterious presence makes regular folks, especially women, unsettled". The creeper designation has traditionally been applied to older men staring or ogling at notably younger girls or women, implying they are potential dangerous or even pedophiles. However, the term today has taken on a more
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To Disclose or Not to Disclose?by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) Most LDS singles come to a new relationship having had some kind of notable challenge, pain, trauma, or trouble in life. Some may have involved their own poor choices, whereas other troubles involved being victimized by the abusive or neglectful treatment of others. Such choices may have involved abuse, sexual indiscretions, or addictions. Still others have simply had problems or struggles that
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Red Light Signals-- When They Aren't Interestedby Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) One of the hardest parts of the dating experience is noticing and concluding that someone you are interested is not interested in you in return. Part of the time it is obvious. Especially when the other person just comes out and says it to you: "I am not interested in you", "I don't think we are a match", "I don't feel the chemistry together", "I feel we are more friends", "I just don't feel the
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Abusive Tactics in Relationshipsby Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) In previous articles I have reviewed the three most dangerous and difficult personality disorders a person can have: antisocial, narcissistic, and borderline. A person with traits of or a full diagnosis of any of those three conditions tend to be what we call in psychology "abusive", at worst extreme, "domestic violence offenders". Beware of people with any of those three personality disorder traits
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Beware the Antisocial Personalityby Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) At about 10:00pm on October 1, 2017, a deranged individual named Stephen Paddock fired down thousands of rounds of gunfire from the 32nd floor of the Las Vegas Mandalay Bay Casino on the 22,000 concertgoers below. After 59 were killed and hundreds more injured, the world was left to make sense of it all. What drove him to this horrific act of bloodshed and horror? A week later at the time of the
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Codependency: Maybe It's You?by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) Even though "codependency" is not an official/formal psychological diagnosis in the DSM-V (the official book we psychologists get out classifications from), this is still a rather useful term in understanding certain unhealthy relational struggles and challenges. The origin of this term ties back to the group "Adult Children of Alcoholics", now more formally known as "Al-Anon"--the groups for family
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Q & A--What Leads to Divorce in LDS Marriages?by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) Question: From your experience as a therapist for the church, what are the top 3 reasons for divorce? And what can singles do now to prepare for marriage that can eliminate/decrease those elements in future relationships? Answer: Yes, good question. I have worked with LDS couples in therapy for 20 years, including 5 years at LDS Family Services. Thinking about it, I'd say the following are
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Beware the Borderline PersonalityOne of the most dangerous and difficult personality disorders to beware of in the dating world--LDS and otherwise--is the "Borderline Personality Disorder". What causes the Borderline Personality Disorder (or BPD) is unknown. Some studies have tied this disorder to having gone through extreme physical or sexual abuse, neglect, or abandonment, others to biological and hormonal factors. Still, the exact cause or causes is still unclear. This disorder is predominantly female and is truly a
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Q & A: Help! He Won't Commitby Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) Question: I just discovered I'm in love.. and dating a guy that is ASPIE.. Intelligent (Boeing Engineer) BYU GRAD.. 53 yr old never married no kids.. I begun to suspect it in Feb of 2016.. he hides it really well.. he's fun and articulate. (I'm a librarian and most men simply aren't smart enough and I'm starved intellectually). So he's been dropping hints for more than a year but...he's never come
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Narcissists--What to Watch Forby Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) In Greek mythology, Narcissus was a hunter known for his great beauty. He was proud, self-absorbed, and had great disdain towards those that family and friends that loved him. Narcissus eventually came across a reflective pool where he enjoyed looking at himself all day. In fact, Narcissus completely fell in love with his own reflection, not even realizing it was just a reflection. He stayed looking
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Where to Find Your Next Relationshipby Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) One of the most common complaints I hear from LDS singles from 18-80 is, "where can I meet someone?" And by someone, they are meaning a basically good, nice, decent fellow LDS single member who would make for good commitment material, perhaps even a temple marriage. Many complain that "there is nobody out there" or "all of the good ones are taken". Nobody? All of the good ones? Not true. And it's a
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