Articles

Developing a Positive Attitude with Dating

Developing a Positive Attitude with Dating

by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) Single and LDS? Tired of the singles scene? Tired of the meat market? Then you are not alone. Many others in your situation have similar feelings. Perhaps previous dating has been unsuccessful. Maybe you have been let down, hurt, or frustrated in the past. It could be that previous promising relationships ended poorly and left you negative and pessimistic with the dating scene. Maybe after a

2016-08-11 Randy Gilchrist Dating, Healthy relationships, Communication, Psychological health
How to use Facebook effectively to meet people

How to use Facebook effectively to meet people

My husband and founder of LDS Dimension, Shawn Gordon, and I also run a group on Facebook called LDS Dating, which provides another way to meet and interact with people. After watching and helping many people meet both here and there, we have talked about things that can help people be more successful in our Facebook group. Here is the list we put together. 1.DO get involved in conversations on posts. This allows you to see who has similar ideals as yourself and may lead to continuing

2016-08-11 Carly Gordon Dating, Healthy relationships, Communication
Is He or She Compatible?

Is He or She Compatible?

by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) Dating in the LDS community is flush with emotion. Is he or she the right one? Are we really compatible? Should we get engaged? How can I know for sure? These are critical questions. No pressure, but consider this classic general authority quote from President Gordon B. Hickley: “The Lord has ordained that we should marry, that we shall live together in love and peace and harmony.… The time will

2016-08-03 Randy Gilchrist Dating, Healthy relationships, Spirituality
Judgement is not a 4 letter word

Judgement is not a 4 letter word

This might be the most oft quoted and wrongly applied part of the Holy Bible: Matthew 7:1-3 King James Version (KJV) 7:1 Judge not, that ye be not judged. 7:2 For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again. 7:3 And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye? I’m not sure how it is in Evangelical Christian circles, but in LDS circles, people throw

2016-07-30 Shawn Gordon Healthy relationships, Communication, Psychological health
Sexual Dysfunction in Marriage

Sexual Dysfunction in Marriage

by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) As LDS members, we have all probably heard the rule of thumb in regards to the law of chastity: complete abstinence before marriage, complete fidelity after marriage. Solo sexual outlets such as pornography or masturbation are a big no no as well. Young men and women growing up in the church hear regular talks and direction on guarding their virtue, and that sex outside of marriage is the third most

2016-07-29 Randy Gilchrist Healthy relationships, Unhealthy relationships, Marriage preparation
Forgiving and Letting Go

Forgiving and Letting Go

Forgiveness means something a little different when we talk about spiritual forgiveness versus psychological forgiveness. Both are important in a different way. From the lds.org topics section (https://www.lds.org/topics/forgiveness?lang=eng), forgiveness is defined as follows: "To forgive is a divine attribute. It is to pardon or excuse someone from blame for an offense or misdeed. The scriptures refer to forgiveness in two ways. The Lord commands us to repent of our sins and seek His

2016-07-25 Randy Gilchrist Dating, Healthy relationships, Psychological health
Stop Being a Hermit and Get Out!

Stop Being a Hermit and Get Out!

by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) A hermit is a person who is a homebody that rarely leaves the house beyond going to work or the store. A hermit socializes with others little and rarely goes out on dates (if ever). A hermit has largely given up socializing with most other people in general. They often possess social anxiety and/or social pessimism. Do you know a person like this? Are you a person like this? If so, the isolation and

2016-07-18 Randy Gilchrist Dating
Mind Reading in Relationships

Mind Reading in Relationships

by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) Back in 1994 at Brigham Young University, I did what most students did at that place at that time: take a marriage preparation course. I don't remember much from that course except for a particular section regarding expecting mind reading in relationships, and what a problem this can lead to. According to my professor and the text book, there is a common, troublesome phenomenon known as the "tender

2016-07-10 Randy Gilchrist Understanding men, Understanding women, Healthy relationships, Marriage preparation, Communication, Psychological health
Facebook Fakers

Facebook Fakers

How do you more easily spot fake profiles and fake groups on Facebook? What is a fake group about? While this article is generally useful in spotting fake profiles and groups, it is written around a specific use case scenario targeting a specific religious group. In this case we are looking at the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (LDS or Mormons) and what some fringe groups do to try and draw faithful members in and then inundate them with a bunch of garbage. A few years ago a

2016-07-02 Shawn Gordon Communication
Is Love Online Possible?

Is Love Online Possible?

by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) Question: I have a question Dr. Gilchrist: Is it possible to love someone who you haven't seen yet in person, but for the things he says over the phone and for the posts he does online? Answer: What a great question. Unfortunately, this is not a question that can easily be answered in a simple "yes" or "no" fashion. My short answer to this important question is, "kind of" and "to a degree", but

2016-06-25 Randy Gilchrist Dating, Healthy relationships
Overcoming Pornography

Overcoming Pornography

by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) In last week's article, I introduced pornography as the immense problem it is today, especially with boys and men. In this follow up article, I will review some simple, practical ideas you can use to prevent and overcome the problem of watching pornography. As an LDS psychologist, I've helped many members overcome this addiction over the years at LDS Family Services and in my private practice. In

2016-06-20 Randy Gilchrist Healthy relationships, Psychological health, Spirituality
Pornography: A Big Problem

Pornography: A Big Problem

by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) Pornography is a bigger problem today than it's ever been in the existence of mankind. Never before have pornographic images and videos been so conveniently and pervasively available. Pornography is just a few clicks or key words away on smart phones, tablets, and computers. In addition, movies, television, magazines, billboards, and many other mediums make pornography so easily and readily available

2016-06-12 Randy Gilchrist Healthy relationships, Marriage preparation, Psychological health, Spirituality
Body Image Challenges

Body Image Challenges

by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) Why do so many people--especially women--suffer from poor body image today? Why are so many so self-conscious about how they look? Why are so many obsessed with their supposed physical flaws, blemishes, and imperfections? Why are problems like anorexia, bulimia, and body dysmorphic disorder growing among so many girls and women, as well as some boys and men? Why is plastic surgery and endless other

2016-06-05 Randy Gilchrist Dating, Marriage preparation, Psychological health
Boosting Self Esteem

Boosting Self Esteem

by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) In last week's article, I examined self-esteem--the degree that we value ourselves--and why it matters. In this week's article, I will present a number of ways to work to help boost and elevate our self-esteem and self-worth. Accordingly, here are a 5 ways to work each day to treat yourself better and eventually feel better towards and about yourself: 1) Stop criticizing yourself To criticize

2016-05-30 Randy Gilchrist Psychological health
Self-Esteem: It Matters

Self-Esteem: It Matters

by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) In psychology, self-esteem is defined by the Webster dictionary as "a feeling of having respect for yourself and your abilities". In other words, having self-esteem is having value and confidence towards yourself to be able to handle the rigors and disappointments of life. Sometimes as LDS members, we hear that we shouldn't strive for self-esteem, or that having self-esteem is bad or prideful. In

2016-05-21 Randy Gilchrist Healthy relationships, Marriage preparation, Psychological health, Spirituality
Sex Lives in Marriage Part 2

Sex Lives in Marriage Part 2

by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) As an extension of the article I wrote last week with the same title, I thought that this was an important enough topic to write more about, given many common misconceptions, dissatisfaction, and dysfunction existing in the area of sex lives amongst fellow LDS members. Once again, I will use the word "sex" instead of "intimacy" to make it very clear what I am referring to so there is no

2016-05-11 Randy Gilchrist Healthy relationships, Communication