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Virtue SignalingAmong religious members, virtue signaling is pretty common and prevalent. The same could be said among groups of singles. If you combine the two together, virtue signaling becomes commonplace among single members of our church. Why do people do this? Partly because of insecurity, but mainly as an effort to make them more attractive or impressive in some fashion—although the opposite effect often occurs. In single church circles specifically, the aim is often to come across as more spiritual
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Eternally Single?In the Doctrine & Covenants 132, we learn all about the nature of and difference between a marriage that will be eternal and those who end at the end of mortal life. The difference relates to whether or not you marry in the temple (and keep those covenants) versus if you marry civilly. The idea is that your choices determine these outcomes. However, what if you really want an eternal temple marriage but you settle for civil, hoping for more at some point? Or even possibly hope you will be given
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Assessing SpiritualityWhen first getting to know someone and as you begin dating, assessing the other person’s level of spirituality is important. Why? Because the greater the mismatch spiritually between the both of you, the greater the challenges tend to be in the relationship. How does that make sense? If the other person is much stronger spiritually than you, shouldn’t that be a plus? For them personally, yes. But not necessarily for you both in the relationship. A highly spiritual person tends to be very
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Explaining BaggageA particular challenge of dating in and out of church circles is baggage. More specifically, deciding when and how to explain the particular baggage (meaning, your notable issues or challenges) you bring to the relationship. If you bring up your baggage too quickly, you could scare people off and repel others. Conversely, if you bring up issues too deep and late into a relationship—even after engagement or even marriage, the other person may feel you weren’t honest and open in the relationship.
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Marriage and In-LawsOne area of challenge for most couples are relationships with the in-laws. Why? Because the new mother and father-in-law are a part of the package of what you commit to in marriage, but they are not necessarily people you would seek out and befriend if they were not connected to your spouse. And how you navigate the relationship with your new extended family members will be important to the health and longevity of your marriage. This article will review ideas about in-laws to assist you for
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Being HealthyIt is hard to have a healthy, happy dating and married relationship if you yourself are not personally healthy. The goal of this article is to give you a review of several key elements to be personally healthy, happy, and ready to offer the best version of yourself to another. So, what are the important elements of yourself to work on? And how can you be personally healthy? Here are some ideas: Elements of Personal Health: Physical Health: basically, to be physically healthy involves giving
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Libido Problems in MarriageIn previous articles I have discussed sex life related topics for single members as an effort to help everyone in preparation for their future marriage. Why? Because sexual dissatisfaction and dysfunction is a common, damaging problem and challenge among married couples in the church. I have discussed the common topic and challenge of sexual hangups (https://www.ldsdimension.com/articles/sexual-hangups-in-marriage-182/), sexual dissatisfaction and dysfunction in marriage
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Picking WellOver the years I’ve noticed that there are 2 simple and basic requirements to a successful relationship. The first requirement is to pick well, the second is to nurture your relationship well from there. If you have picked well, the other person will most likely nurture you well in return. Implied in this rule of thumb is that when you do not pick well—when you pick a person with notable character flaws, problems, or issues, your efforts to keep the relationship healthy, happy, and committed
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Applying the 7 Habits to RelationshipsA landmark self-help book by renown BYU professor Stephen Covey is the classic work: The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. Regularly touted as one of the top 20 self-help books of all time, this remarkable work loosely and informally translates several useful and traditionally LDS principles into a user-friendly self-help form to promote what makes for healthy, happy, effective people. These principles relate to both the business world, relationships, and life in general. In today’s dating
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Positive Relationship Role ModelsOne of the biggest challenges for relationships today is the lack of positive marriage and relationship role models. Too often we see friends, family, and coworkers complaining about their significant other, getting separations and divorces, and overall being unhappy. We see TV and movies showing the same things: arguing, contention, resentments, break ups, infidelity, and on and on. It is no wonder that people have largely lost faith and confidence in relationships and marriage success today.
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Handling RejectionOne of the hardest aspects of the dating world is when you face rejection: someone deciding they are not interested in and do not want to date you (or no longer want to date you). It is very easy to take the rejection hard and take it personally. We often wonder why we were truly rejected. Because often the one rejected either gives no explanation (they “ghost” you), gives a false explanation, or only gives a partial explanation (where there is “more to the story”). Occasionally the rejecting
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Is the Grass Greener?One of the benefits of technology today is the ease and convenience that it provides. Online dating and social media platforms allow for the opportunity for 24/7 access for an endless number of potential dating partners. However, this same convenience and unlimited quantity brings another modern problem that has never existed to this level before: the “grass is greener” effect. When one person seems nice, attractive, and friendly, etc., people wonder if they might be able to do even better if
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Are They Telling the Truth?One big challenge in the dating world: figuring out if you can you trust that a person you are getting to know is telling the truth about themselves. To be fair, everyone is under a decent amount of pressure to put a good foot forward and show their best side in the dating arena. Unfortunately, deception, exaggeration, and straight out lying are common methods used in an attempt to impress others in the effort to find a new relationship. The problem is that if a potential dating partner is
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Money and CompromiseMoney is one of the touchier, more challenging subjects for couples and relationships. Complicating the issue is the somewhat mixed messages given on the subject. Some scriptures point out the dangers and even problems of money and a materialistic focus, whereas other scriptures emphasize providing adequately and getting out of debt as positive things. Here are some various scriptures on the subject that frame the pursuit of money in a rather negative light: For the love of money is the root
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Comparing LooksWhether you are male or female, looking good increases your dating stock immensely. Why? Because looking good increases romance, physical attraction, and sexual chemistry. The more people that are attracted to someone’s looks, the greater the options they will have to pick from in the dating pool. In short, looking good is important in the dating world. It is natural, instinctive, an important part of spark, connection, and giving/receiving affection. To deny the important role of looks in a
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Marriage QuotesPeriodically in my articles I like to highlight quotes that modern prophets/official church sources have to say about important and relevant topics, especially relationships and marriage related topics. In this article I want to share some clear, straight forward quotes on marriage that I hope they can be useful and informative. The main idea is that in spite of worldly attitudes, marriage is still ideal, is important to strive for, and is ordained of God. Please continue to pursue this
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