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Dealing with His or Her Exby Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com FREE Online Dating If you are dating someone 25 years or older or especially someone over 30, there is a decent chance your new boyfriend or girlfriend will have already been married before. And there is also a good chance that he or she will have had at least 1 child with their ex-spouse, often more. When dating someone divorced with a child or children with their ex, they have to co-parent those children until they are 18 years
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Getting Back Together with the Ex?Are you tempted to try to get back together with your ex? Is your ex trying to get back with you? Should you do it? Does it matter if you were only dating versus married or engaged? Does it ever work out? These and other related questions are common when an ex wants to get back together with you. The true answer in all scenarios is…it depends. Maybe it is a good idea, maybe it isn’t. And ultimately the choice will be up to you. However, hopefully some ideas in this article can help you in your
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Good Motivational Quotes & Ideas for DatingIn previous articles I have written about trying to work through past hurts and pains to help you get out there dating and trying again for a new relationship. See: https://www.ldsdimension.com/articles/snake-bitten-150 and https://www.ldsdimension.com/articles/getting-ready-for-another-relationship-111. Those are good articles if you need some direction, support, and ideas to work through your past hurts and issues. To compliment those ideas, I thought that I would create a little article
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Spiritual Standards in DatingWhat kinds of standards should you look for spiritually with the person you want to date? The answer you give to this question for yourself will often reflect your own current level of spirituality. We generally feel best and comfortable with a person roughly at our own level of spirituality, perhaps a small bit higher. So if you wish to be with a person at a certain level higher than yours, it might be a good idea to get your own spiritual self together and a desired level yourself before
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Snake Bitten?According to the Urban Dictionary, to be snake bitten is to “…be cursed, extremely unlucky or destined to fail at anything you try.” When we have had failed relationships or marriages, it is pretty common to feel snake bitten. The worst part of feeling snake bitten in dating and relationships is that the fear of hurt and failure again can lead us to avoid or sabotage opportunities for relationship success. If we fear and even assume that a relationship will eventually fail, we will find a way
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Boundaries while DatingOne gray area while dating is the issue of how to behave with other members of the opposite sex now NOT your new girlfriend or boyfriend. While socializing and looking to find someone to date, it is common and encouraged to socialize and flirt with multiple people of the opposite sex as you have fun and search for connections. However, when you finally are dating someone exclusively—especially when you become serious and even engaged—it is important to make some shifts and adjustments to help
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Persuasion SkillsOne touchy subject in relationships involves what to do when the other person refuses to change. If the other person in your relationship has some notable quirks, problems, challenges, or issues that notably bother you, you have several choices. You can: 1) break up with the other person, 2) argue, fight, and give them ultimatums to try to pressure them to change, or 3) just try to accept them as they are and live with the issues. But what if none of those 3 options are acceptable to you? If
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Emotional EatingWhen we feel difficult emotions, we often look to a quick, easy, convenient, powerful solution to ease, escape, or numb the pain. Emotions such as loneliness, boredom, stress, anxiety, depression, etc., often lead to a desire for quick relief. As members of the church attempting to maintain good standing in the faith, options utilized by many outside the church are not options. Such addictive outlets include alcohol, illicit drug use, gambling, sexually acting out, etc. Therefore, a very common
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Game Playing and Mixed MessagesAs boys and girls became more interested in each other in elementary school, did you remember how they started playing games with each other? The first games often consisted of simple teasing, joking, and making fun of each other, often with some light name calling or put downs. Such games allowed for the safest interaction. Boys and girls could begin to interact, but retreat to the safety of “it’s not like I was interested in them because after all, I was making fun of them”. These
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Acting AttractiveActing attractive on the outside with your looks, body language, facial expressions, words, actions…is it important to dating? Should it be important? Well, it is if you want to…attract someone to date you. An important rule of thumb: looking, acting, and sounding attractive on the outside gives you more initial dating opportunities--more often with more people. It creates spark and butterflies. Conversely, being a quality person on the inside and treating your partner well is what gives your
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Dating--Getting Out Thereby Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE online dating site) When I was growing up in the late 1970s and early 1980s, one of my favorite commercials was where the Kool-Aid man, a giant picture of red punch Kool-Aid, crashes through a wall screaming, “Oh Yeah!”. Sometimes today I think a lot of LDS singles take a similar approach to dating. Longing to be in a new relationship and marriage, many seem to wait around in the isolation of their house waiting for…their
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Dating—Does Anyone Do It Anymore?by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist In today’s age of the internet, cell phones, “hanging out”, “swipe right”, “hooking up”, etc., does anyone date anymore? Like, does anyone just meet through a mutual friend at church, school, or an activity, ask for a phone number, call and ask the other out, and go on a formal date? Does that even happen anymore? Technology and changing societal norms have altered many things today and dating is one of them. Plus, in this post Harvey Weinstein era
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Who Holds the Power in the Relationship?by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) An important aspect in any relationship—church member or not—is who holds the power in the relationship. Meaning, who makes the decisions, determines what is or is not done, and perhaps most importantly in dating, whether or not to continue the relationship. Ideally, both dating partners are strongly into each other and both want the relationship to be “full steam ahead”. Or, both partners are casual
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Marital Prioritiesby Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) A big part of the reason that so many marriages today—including temple marriages—end is because in some way, one or both spouses have a priority problem. Other things become more important than the marriage, the marriage suffers through conflict and neglect, and eventually ends. So when you marry (or marry again), this will be an opportunity to place the marriage as the top priority to give you the
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A World Hostile to MarriageToday, the world promotes a hostile attitude towards all gospel principles including and especially marriage. If Satan can split or prevent marriages, he can break apart families and cause much pain, suffering, and instability in the world. This hostility and opposition to marriage was foretold in the scriptures and in many ways, has been present from the beginning. Scriptures Tell of the Hostile Attitudes A particular scripture has strong implications for latter day hostilities. In a
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Money and RelationshipsMoney is one of the top 5 most argued about topics at home and in the couples therapy office, leading to many breakups and divorces. The topic has lead to endless friction, conflict, contention, and resentment. Why is money such a touchy topic? Because money relates to so many elements of lifestyle and in a general sense, survival. Without money, bills cannot be paid. And if bills are not paid, cars and houses are lost, credit scores are ruined, and the ability to live is greatly diminished.
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