In the mid to late 1990s, online dating arose as a new thing with the internet became a regular part of our lives. Because of the convenience factor and the great quantity of potential dating partners, online ways of meeting others has only grown bigger and greater each year. Online dating websites and apps have been the original forms of online dating. However people also meet and date online through video games, social media, and other websites where people can meet, mingle, and message each other. Basically, any way where the opposite sex can meet and interact can become a possible form of online dating. In this article, some implications will be given for the impact this online dating has had for men, women, relationships, and society.
Impacts:
*Looks focuses have increased: Men have always been strongly looks focused when it comes to what we are attracted to. It is largely a wiring issue from what I can tell. I know looks have always mattered to women as well. However, since the advent of the internet, women common filter out guys based on looks oriented issues to the same degree and more than the men online. Commonly, women will have filters that eliminate men who aren’t at least ____ feet tall (commonly, 6 feet+), and even then the taller men need to look good enough. So unless men look closer towards women’s physical ideals, no interactions result.
*Money focuses have increased: Because a person’s profession and even income range is commonly listed on a dating profile, such details often are used in determining whether someone will or won’t be given a chance in a relationship. Although income is somewhat a factor for men, it is an even bigger factor for women. Therefore, many men are excluded and not given a chance in dating and relationships because they simply don’t earn enough money.
*Women are dating the same small portion of men: research has shown that when looks alone are the focus, women only are attracted to about 20% of men. Because of this online, the top 20% of the best looking men are getting the most dating experience with the bulk of women. Conversely, with 80% of men not being deemed to be looking good enough, 8 out of 10 men are never given an initial opportunity to date and have a relationship with women online on average. A type of “dating polygamy” often results. Because of this effect, only a small portion of men are ever given an initial dating opportunity in the first place, and women often find to their shock that the men they date are also juggling dating many other women at the same time. As a result, there has arisen a number of Facebook groups for women in this predicament called “Are We Dating the Same Guy”. Frustration and anger are commonly the result.
*Less live socialization: with the 24/7/365 convenience factor and the quantity of available people, online dating has taken over dating in many ways. One of those ways is with replacing old traditional ways where men and women meet in live, natural, organic ways. Less relational meetings are occurring lately at churches, work, and formal physical gatherings like parties, events, and dances. The effort required, together with the common social anxiety related to such gatherings have kept more people away from live socializing over the last few years. It can seem so much easier instead to just reach out to others online than to go through all of that hassle.
*Catfishing is on the rise: when a person misrepresents themselves, who they are, and what their true intentions are in online forums, this has become known as catfishing. The person doing the catfishing is usually after money, but also may be looking for unwarranted attention or a sexual fling. Whatever their true motivation is, catfishers are looking to exploit others in some way and are dangerous. Of course, with more online dating occurring, more catfishing occurs as well. For an article based on this subject, refer to: https://www.ldsdimension.com/articles/catfishing-beware-of-scammers-online-277/. Also: https://www.ldsdimension.com/articles/online-dating-filtering-316/.
Final Thoughts:
By writing this article I am not trying to be anti-online dating. Many success stories have come from meeting people online, and perhaps you will be next. I simple want to acknowledge some of the issues and challenges that have occurred along with the rise of online dating. As you are aware of these issues and adjust/protect yourself accordingly, you can have a greater ability to be successful and to have a positive experience. All dating and relationships involve risk. Be smart and strategic about it and this can go well for you. And remember that “…neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord.” (1 Corinthians 11:1).
Dr. G
P.S. If you have any questions, comments, or a future article request for me, feel free to contact me at drgilchrist@yahoo.com.
| 2024-06-15 | Randy Gilchrist |
About the author
Hello, my name is Dr. Randy Gilchrist (aka "Dr. G"). I am a licensed clinical psychologist, a licensed marriage & family therapist, and a certified hypnotherapist in private practice in Roseville, CA (www.dr-rg.com), practicing since 1997. Also, I am happily married in the temple (Manti) since 1996 and have 4 sons. I am a volunteer writer and contributor to LDS Dimension. I use my training, education, and experience to share insights with LDS Dimension on all things of interest to the LDS dating community. Please read my articles and columns on this site to assist you in your online dating journey. Also, to be considered for an answer in a future Q and A column, please email me your dating/relationship oriented questions to drgilchrist@yahoo.com. Finally, I also offer a powerful, effective worldwide custom hypnosis recording service just for LDS Dimension members for weight loss, pornography, and many other issues of concern to those in the LDS dating community (please learn more now at www.dr-rg.com/lds; email me questions to drgilchrist@yahoo.com).