When Traditional Husband and Wife Roles Aren’t Possible

When Traditional Husband and  Wife Roles Aren’t Possible by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist
www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site)

The Lord in his wisdom created man and woman with different thoughts, feelings, instincts, and roles. From the beginning, man and woman, husband and wife were created and assigned the following roles:

Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee. And unto Adam he said, Because thou hast hearkened unto the voice of thy wife, and hast eaten of the tree, of which I commanded thee, saying, Thou shalt not eat of it: cursed is the ground for thy sake; in sorrow shalt thou eat of it all the days of thy life; Thorns also and thistles shall it bring forth to thee; and thou shalt eat the herb of the field; In the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread, till thou return unto the ground; for out of it wast thou taken: for dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou return. (Genesis 3:16-19)

In other words, the Lord assigned roles from the beginning to Eve and women to follow to bear, nurture, and raise children, and to Adam and men to follow to provide for food and other necessities of life.

Modern prophets have further clarified male and female roles in The Family: A Proclamation to the World in 1995 as follows:

By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners. Disability, death, or other circumstances may necessitate individual adaptation.

Modern Gender Role Confusion:

Isaiah saw that in the latter days, evil would be called good and good would be called evil, with general gender role confusion being a prime example of an attack on the traditional roles of men, women, and their roles in the family. He says:

Woe unto them that call evil good, and good evil; that put darkness for light, and light for darkness; that put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter! Woe unto them that are wise in their own eyes, and prudent in their own sight! Which justify the wicked for reward, and take away the righteousness of the righteous from him! Therefore as the fire devoureth the stubble, and the flame consumeth the chaff, so their root shall be as rottenness, and their blossom shall go up as dust: because they have cast away the law of the Lord of hosts, and despised the word of the Holy One of Israel. (Isaiah 5:20-21, 23, 24)


One of the main responsibilities we have today as members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is to support and fulfill traditional roles of men and women, husbands and wives, fathers and mothers the best we can in our individual situations. However, and this is a big however, when divorce, disability, notable financial need, and other challenges exist in an individual’s life, provide, protect, and nurture roles may out of necessity be primarily assumed by either the father or the mother without guilt, regret, or remorse. As the Proclamation declares, “Disability, death, or other circumstances may necessitate individual adaptation”. In short, do what you need to do until there is no longer the need or requirement to take on primary role of the other gender. Just do your best and eventually you will have the traditional family unit and roles the way the Lord originally designed.

Accordingly, Elder Dallin H Oaks has stated:

Many of the most important deprivations of mortality will be set right in the Millennium, which is the time for fulfilling all that is incomplete in the great plan of happiness for all of our Father’s worthy children. We know that will be true of temple ordinances. I believe it will also be true of family relationships and experiences. (The Great Plan of Happiness, October 1993 General Conference)

Believe, be faithful and worthy, endure to the end, and everything will be made right sooner or later. Remember that "…neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord" (1 Corinthians 11:11).

Dr. G

*To submit a question for a future Q & A column or to request a possible future article subject, contact me at drgilchrist@yahoo.com.

**Do you struggle with pornography or another addictive tendency? Do you struggle with eating issues or want to lose weight? Anxiety issues? Other issues, challenges, or problems? Consider my special custom hypnosis recording service for fellow LDS members only, available worldwide by online delivery. A powerful, effective, convenient tool for change. Learn more now at www.dr-rg.com/lds or email me questions at drgilchrist@yahoo.com. Completely private and confidential.

2018-01-22 Randy Gilchrist Dating, Healthy relationships

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About the author

Hello, my name is Dr. Randy Gilchrist (aka "Dr. G"). I am a licensed clinical psychologist, a licensed marriage & family therapist, and a certified hypnotherapist in private practice in Roseville, CA (www.dr-rg.com), practicing since 1997. Also, I am happily married in the temple (Manti) since 1996 and have 4 sons. I am a volunteer writer and contributor to LDS Dimension. I use my training, education, and experience to share insights with LDS Dimension on all things of interest to the LDS dating community. Please read my articles and columns on this site to assist you in your online dating journey. Also, to be considered for an answer in a future Q and A column, please email me your dating/relationship oriented questions to drgilchrist@yahoo.com. Finally, I also offer a powerful, effective worldwide custom hypnosis recording service just for LDS Dimension members for weight loss, pornography, and many other issues of concern to those in the LDS dating community (please learn more now at www.dr-rg.com/lds; email me questions to drgilchrist@yahoo.com).