Healthy relationships

Don't Be a Creeper, Be a Keeper

Don't Be a Creeper, Be a Keeper

by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) A "creeper", according to the Urban Dictionary, is basically "a male whose uncertain behavior or looming mysterious presence makes regular folks, especially women, unsettled". The creeper designation has traditionally been applied to older men staring or ogling at notably younger girls or women, implying they are potential dangerous or even pedophiles. However, the term today has taken on a more

2017-11-06 Randy Gilchrist Understanding men, Understanding women, Dating, Healthy relationships
Abusive Tactics in Relationships

Abusive Tactics in Relationships

by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) In previous articles I have reviewed the three most dangerous and difficult personality disorders a person can have: antisocial, narcissistic, and borderline. A person with traits of or a full diagnosis of any of those three conditions tend to be what we call in psychology "abusive", at worst extreme, "domestic violence offenders". Beware of people with any of those three personality disorder traits

2017-10-22 Randy Gilchrist Dating, Healthy relationships, Psychological health
Beware the Antisocial Personality

Beware the Antisocial Personality

by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) At about 10:00pm on October 1, 2017, a deranged individual named Stephen Paddock fired down thousands of rounds of gunfire from the 32nd floor of the Las Vegas Mandalay Bay Casino on the 22,000 concertgoers below. After 59 were killed and hundreds more injured, the world was left to make sense of it all. What drove him to this horrific act of bloodshed and horror? A week later at the time of the

2017-10-16 Randy Gilchrist Dating, Healthy relationships, Unhealthy relationships, Psychological health
Codependency: Maybe It's You?

Codependency: Maybe It's You?

by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) Even though "codependency" is not an official/formal psychological diagnosis in the DSM-V (the official book we psychologists get out classifications from), this is still a rather useful term in understanding certain unhealthy relational struggles and challenges. The origin of this term ties back to the group "Adult Children of Alcoholics", now more formally known as "Al-Anon"--the groups for family

2017-10-09 Randy Gilchrist Dating, Healthy relationships, Unhealthy relationships, Communication, Psychological health
Q & A--What Leads to Divorce  in LDS Marriages?

Q & A--What Leads to Divorce in LDS Marriages?

by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) Question: From your experience as a therapist for the church, what are the top 3 reasons for divorce? And what can singles do now to prepare for marriage that can eliminate/decrease those elements in future relationships? Answer: Yes, good question. I have worked with LDS couples in therapy for 20 years, including 5 years at LDS Family Services. Thinking about it, I'd say the following are

2017-09-30 Randy Gilchrist Healthy relationships
Narcissists--What to Watch For

Narcissists--What to Watch For

by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) In Greek mythology, Narcissus was a hunter known for his great beauty. He was proud, self-absorbed, and had great disdain towards those that family and friends that loved him. Narcissus eventually came across a reflective pool where he enjoyed looking at himself all day. In fact, Narcissus completely fell in love with his own reflection, not even realizing it was just a reflection. He stayed looking

2017-09-11 Randy Gilchrist Dating, Healthy relationships, Unhealthy relationships, Psychological health
Should I Give Up Trying to Find Someone?

Should I Give Up Trying to Find Someone?

by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) Dating in the LDS Singles community can be fraught with emotional and psychological challenges: frustration, anger, sadness, resentment, jealousy, loneliness, self-esteem challenges, disappointment, bitterness, anxiety, guilt, and so on. Perhaps the most common challenge is the routine feeling of frustration over desiring to have someone to date and eventually marry, only to have relationships fail

2017-08-17 Randy Gilchrist Dating, Healthy relationships, Marriage preparation
Overcoming Being Needy or  Clingy in Relationships

Overcoming Being Needy or Clingy in Relationships

by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) As stated in my last article, "to be overly needy or clingy in a relationship is to be overly insecure and desirous of continual reassurance of one's acceptance and desirability". If you have determined you struggle with being needy or clingy and would like to change, I will offer a few ideas here to help you improve. Suggestion 1: Balanced Giving in Relationships If you are giving and trying

2017-08-12 Randy Gilchrist Dating, Healthy relationships, Communication
Are You Needy or Clingy in Relationships?

Are You Needy or Clingy in Relationships?

by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) To be overly needy or clingy in a relationship is to be overly insecure and desirous of continual reassurance of one's acceptance and desirability. Such an approach to relationships may seem somewhat attractive or "cute" at first, but over time this tendency will wear thin and eventually repel the other partner. Neediness and clinginess will often drain a relationship over time until there is no more

2017-08-07 Randy Gilchrist Healthy relationships
My "White Paper" on LDS Singles

My "White Paper" on LDS Singles

In 2013 I was newly single and got heavily involved in the singles scene in church and was looking for ways to improve it at all levels as part of magnifying my calling as the Ward Singles Rep. I put together this set of notes, which doesn't really read like an article, but has a lot of useful information in it for all sorts of people. I've shared it with many other singles reps in the church since the time I wrote it and everyone has gotten a benefit from it. Please enjoy. Overview The

2017-07-30 Shawn Gordon Understanding men, Understanding women, Dating, Healthy relationships, Marriage preparation
Eliminating Relational Cynicism

Eliminating Relational Cynicism

by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) Cynicism is defined as "an inclination to believe that people are motivated purely by self-interest self-interest; skepticism" (source: Google dictionary). After suffering months, years, even decades of relational failures, frustrations, and pain; after suffer letdowns, breakups, even divorces, it can be quite easy and natural to become cynical about the opposite sex and relationships in general. We

2017-07-21 Randy Gilchrist Healthy relationships
Understanding Masculinity and Femininity

Understanding Masculinity and Femininity

"And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him…Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh" (Genesis 2:18, 24). A strong case is made from the beginning that we, as men and women, need companionship with each other. Men are women compliment and complete each other. Masculine/feminine, male/female, man/woman, the two genders were meant to be together. Because

2017-06-29 Randy Gilchrist Understanding men, Understanding women, Healthy relationships
Physical Chemistry--How Important Is It?

Physical Chemistry--How Important Is It?

by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) Physical "chemistry" in a relationship sense can be loosely thought of as "spark", "connection", "butterflies", "infatuation", "physical attraction", "hormones", "clicking together", and so on. I am regularly asked how important I think chemistry is in a dating and married relationship. The answer to the question is both simple and complex at the same time. Simply put, physical chemistry is very

2017-06-14 Randy Gilchrist Dating, Healthy relationships
Rescuing, Fixing, and Saving in Relationships

Rescuing, Fixing, and Saving in Relationships

by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) One tendency that commonly manifests in relationships, especially LDS relationships is an unbalanced combination of one side rescuing, fixing, and saving, and the other side needing the rescuing, fixing, and saving. Some on the surface might assume, "what's wrong with that?" Well, in short, over time this discrepancy over time makes for more of an unbalanced, parent-child kind of relationship where

2017-06-05 Randy Gilchrist Healthy relationships
Men and Women--Meant to Be Together

Men and Women--Meant to Be Together

by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) I always end my LDS dating articles with the scripture from Paul that "…neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord" (1 Corinthians 11:11). And it's true. In today's world, there is a common thought that being single is fine, acceptable, normal, even preferred over being married together as husband and wife. However, this is not the Lord's way. Here are a

2017-05-21 Randy Gilchrist Dating, Healthy relationships, Marriage preparation, Spirituality
Pornography and Men

Pornography and Men

by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) Today, access to pornographic material is as easy as turning on your internet carrying device and pushing a few key strokes. And then immediately you have access to millions and millions of pornographic sites all over the world. In our LDS church, men are in many was especially susceptible to pornography, as more severe sexual outlets involving live person to person interaction outside of marriage

2017-05-15 Randy Gilchrist Understanding men, Healthy relationships