Understanding men

Identifying Guys that are Players

Identifying Guys that are Players

In the dating world, both in and out of the church, it can often be difficult distinguish between guys that are “players” and guys that are genuine good, nice, decent guys. Players are usually referred to as a male, although surely women can be “players” too. But for this article, I will mainly refer to guys as the players. In the Urban Dictionary, a player is defined as follows: “Usually a boy who makes you feel special. He makes you feel like you are the only girl in his life, when really

2019-09-15 Carly Gordon Understanding men, Dating
When Others Warn

When Others Warn

One common occurrence that can be experienced as you get to know someone or begin dating is that some current or former friend, family member, or coworker of your partner has some warning for you about them. “Um, I just thought that you might like to know that he/she is/was/did______ (in the past)”, or “you might want to think twice about that person because_____”. Perhaps you are warned that your partner is abusive, neglectful, poor with money, had a bad temper, whatever. The advice may be to

2019-09-02 Randy Gilchrist Understanding men, Understanding women, Dating, Healthy relationships
What Men Want Women to Know About Men

What Men Want Women to Know About Men

One of the first articles I wrote for LDS Dimension was the article “What Do Men Want” (see https://www.ldsdimension.com/articles/what-do-men-want-3/). In this article, I gave a basic summary of the most common things men tend to want, like, and need in a relationship (and if it gets them a marriage) with a woman. These traits are, from my experience, pretty universal whether the men and women are members of the church or not. So as an extension of that article, I wanted to share some

2019-07-14 Randy Gilchrist Understanding men
Acting Attractive

Acting Attractive

Acting attractive on the outside with your looks, body language, facial expressions, words, actions…is it important to dating? Should it be important? Well, it is if you want to…attract someone to date you. An important rule of thumb: looking, acting, and sounding attractive on the outside gives you more initial dating opportunities--more often with more people. It creates spark and butterflies. Conversely, being a quality person on the inside and treating your partner well is what gives your

2018-09-24 Randy Gilchrist Understanding men, Understanding women, Dating
Antagonism Towards the Opposite Sex

Antagonism Towards the Opposite Sex

Man and woman were created for each other. Opposites. Compliments. Mutual supports. Different roles. Originally in Genesis, it says: “And the Lord God planted a garden eastward in Eden; and there he put the man whom he had formed. And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him. And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; And the rib, which the

2018-07-16 Randy Gilchrist Understanding men, Understanding women, Dating, Healthy relationships, Conflict resolution
When Are Advances Welcome?

When Are Advances Welcome?

by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) One of the trickiest parts of being an LDS single (or a single in general) can be determining if a new love interest you are getting to know is in fact interested in return and welcome to your advances. Tricky because what may have been hoped to be romantic, exciting, and connective may actually be unwelcome advances. Even worse, you can come across as creepy, unwanted, and even harassing. So, how

2018-06-12 Randy Gilchrist Understanding men, Understanding women, Dating
Relationship Advice:  Where to Go (and Not Go)

Relationship Advice: Where to Go (and Not Go)

by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) In the dating world—both as LDS and non-LDS singles, it is common and often good to look for new, quality relationship advice: what to do, what not to do, who to date, who not to date, how to proceed and progress, etc. Getting an outside opinion and outside information can be a smart thing. Otherwise if we keep simply trusting our own judgement and choosing the same kinds of people and going about

2018-02-22 Randy Gilchrist Understanding men, Understanding women, Dating
Feminism Versus Masculinity

Feminism Versus Masculinity

by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) In 1995, the First Presidency released The Family: A Proclamation to the World, which included the following: All human beings—male and female—are created in the image of God. Each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and, as such, each has a divine nature and destiny. Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and

2017-12-10 Randy Gilchrist Understanding men, Understanding women, Dating, Healthy relationships
Don't Be a Creeper, Be a Keeper

Don't Be a Creeper, Be a Keeper

by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) A "creeper", according to the Urban Dictionary, is basically "a male whose uncertain behavior or looming mysterious presence makes regular folks, especially women, unsettled". The creeper designation has traditionally been applied to older men staring or ogling at notably younger girls or women, implying they are potential dangerous or even pedophiles. However, the term today has taken on a more

2017-11-06 Randy Gilchrist Understanding men, Understanding women, Dating, Healthy relationships
Red Light Signals-- When They Aren't Interested

Red Light Signals-- When They Aren't Interested

by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) One of the hardest parts of the dating experience is noticing and concluding that someone you are interested is not interested in you in return. Part of the time it is obvious. Especially when the other person just comes out and says it to you: "I am not interested in you", "I don't think we are a match", "I don't feel the chemistry together", "I feel we are more friends", "I just don't feel the

2017-10-30 Carly Gordon Understanding men, Understanding women, Dating, Communication
My "White Paper" on LDS Singles

My "White Paper" on LDS Singles

In 2013 I was newly single and got heavily involved in the singles scene in church and was looking for ways to improve it at all levels as part of magnifying my calling as the Ward Singles Rep. I put together this set of notes, which doesn't really read like an article, but has a lot of useful information in it for all sorts of people. I've shared it with many other singles reps in the church since the time I wrote it and everyone has gotten a benefit from it. Please enjoy. Overview The

2017-07-30 Shawn Gordon Understanding men, Understanding women, Dating, Healthy relationships, Marriage preparation
Understanding Masculinity and Femininity

Understanding Masculinity and Femininity

"And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him…Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh" (Genesis 2:18, 24). A strong case is made from the beginning that we, as men and women, need companionship with each other. Men are women compliment and complete each other. Masculine/feminine, male/female, man/woman, the two genders were meant to be together. Because

2017-06-29 Randy Gilchrist Understanding men, Understanding women, Healthy relationships
Pornography and Men

Pornography and Men

by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) Today, access to pornographic material is as easy as turning on your internet carrying device and pushing a few key strokes. And then immediately you have access to millions and millions of pornographic sites all over the world. In our LDS church, men are in many was especially susceptible to pornography, as more severe sexual outlets involving live person to person interaction outside of marriage

2017-05-15 Randy Gilchrist Understanding men, Healthy relationships
Rescuing the Damsel in Distress

Rescuing the Damsel in Distress

by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) In a previous article, I wrote about how some women tend to be attracted to and choose to be in a relationship with "the bad boy". Men also have a tendency to get involved with a troublesome type of relationship choice: the damsel in distress. A damsel in distress is basically any woman who is very troubled emotionally, practically, or otherwise, which is attractive to some men. This usually

2016-12-08 Randy Gilchrist Understanding men, Understanding women, Dating, Healthy relationships
Being Attracted to the Bad Boy

Being Attracted to the Bad Boy

by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) So, what is it about the "bad boy"? How is it that such guys are often so attractive to so many women, both in and out of the church? Knowing that they are "trouble", how is it that so many still seem to command so much attention and attraction? What is so exciting about troubled men, when other often nicer and more respectful men are deemed too "boring", "nice", or deemed "just friends"? How is this

2016-10-10 Randy Gilchrist Understanding men, Understanding women, Dating, Healthy relationships
Mind Reading in Relationships

Mind Reading in Relationships

by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) Back in 1994 at Brigham Young University, I did what most students did at that place at that time: take a marriage preparation course. I don't remember much from that course except for a particular section regarding expecting mind reading in relationships, and what a problem this can lead to. According to my professor and the text book, there is a common, troublesome phenomenon known as the "tender

2016-07-10 Randy Gilchrist Understanding men, Understanding women, Healthy relationships, Marriage preparation, Communication, Psychological health