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Relationship Advice: Where to Go (and Not Go)by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) In the dating world—both as LDS and non-LDS singles, it is common and often good to look for new, quality relationship advice: what to do, what not to do, who to date, who not to date, how to proceed and progress, etc. Getting an outside opinion and outside information can be a smart thing. Otherwise if we keep simply trusting our own judgement and choosing the same kinds of people and going about
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Valuing Femininityby Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) In today’s world, the media, society, and academics often create and perpetuate antagonism between the genders, especially from women towards men. That which is considered masculine is often promoted and sought after by women over men. Masculine traits have been deemed by society as the desirable traits for women to ascribe to, and feminine traits have been deemed the weak traits, and have been left
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Feminism Versus Masculinityby Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) In 1995, the First Presidency released The Family: A Proclamation to the World, which included the following: All human beings—male and female—are created in the image of God. Each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and, as such, each has a divine nature and destiny. Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and
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Don't Be a Creeper, Be a Keeperby Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) A "creeper", according to the Urban Dictionary, is basically "a male whose uncertain behavior or looming mysterious presence makes regular folks, especially women, unsettled". The creeper designation has traditionally been applied to older men staring or ogling at notably younger girls or women, implying they are potential dangerous or even pedophiles. However, the term today has taken on a more
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Red Light Signals-- When They Aren't Interestedby Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) One of the hardest parts of the dating experience is noticing and concluding that someone you are interested is not interested in you in return. Part of the time it is obvious. Especially when the other person just comes out and says it to you: "I am not interested in you", "I don't think we are a match", "I don't feel the chemistry together", "I feel we are more friends", "I just don't feel the
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My "White Paper" on LDS SinglesIn 2013 I was newly single and got heavily involved in the singles scene in church and was looking for ways to improve it at all levels as part of magnifying my calling as the Ward Singles Rep. I put together this set of notes, which doesn't really read like an article, but has a lot of useful information in it for all sorts of people. I've shared it with many other singles reps in the church since the time I wrote it and everyone has gotten a benefit from it. Please enjoy. Overview The
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Understanding Masculinity and Femininity"And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him…Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh" (Genesis 2:18, 24). A strong case is made from the beginning that we, as men and women, need companionship with each other. Men are women compliment and complete each other. Masculine/feminine, male/female, man/woman, the two genders were meant to be together. Because
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Rescuing the Damsel in Distressby Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) In a previous article, I wrote about how some women tend to be attracted to and choose to be in a relationship with "the bad boy". Men also have a tendency to get involved with a troublesome type of relationship choice: the damsel in distress. A damsel in distress is basically any woman who is very troubled emotionally, practically, or otherwise, which is attractive to some men. This usually
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Being Attracted to the Bad Boyby Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) So, what is it about the "bad boy"? How is it that such guys are often so attractive to so many women, both in and out of the church? Knowing that they are "trouble", how is it that so many still seem to command so much attention and attraction? What is so exciting about troubled men, when other often nicer and more respectful men are deemed too "boring", "nice", or deemed "just friends"? How is this
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Mind Reading in Relationshipsby Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) Back in 1994 at Brigham Young University, I did what most students did at that place at that time: take a marriage preparation course. I don't remember much from that course except for a particular section regarding expecting mind reading in relationships, and what a problem this can lead to. According to my professor and the text book, there is a common, troublesome phenomenon known as the "tender
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Using Personality TestsPersonality tests, when shown to be valid and reliable, can offer great insights into ourselves and/or our dating partner. Interestingly, we as people often don't know ourselves as well as we might think we do. So the more we learn about ourselves and our dating partner, the more we can know what areas of concern need to be addressed and improved upon. High quality questionnaires can be useful tools in this regard, and I highly recommend them. Many problems in relationships seem to emerge
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What Do Women Want?Over the years in my psychology office, many men--both single and married, both LDS and not LDS--have asked versions of the same basic question: what do women want? My own question I've often asked myself in return is, why is this such a mystery? I think the answer to both questions involves a key gender difference. We men tend to want the answers laid out for us in a straight forward, clear, simple, linear manner. But rarely if ever are we given such clear answers to "what women want".
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