Using Personality Tests

Using Personality Tests Personality tests, when shown to be valid and reliable, can offer great insights into ourselves and/or our dating partner. Interestingly, we as people often don't know ourselves as well as we might think we do. So the more we learn about ourselves and our dating partner, the more we can know what areas of concern need to be addressed and improved upon. High quality questionnaires can be useful tools in this regard, and I highly recommend them.

Many problems in relationships seem to emerge over time. However, if partners got to know each other better before marriage, many problems could have been worked out early. Sometimes, the tests serve to assist the couple to wisely break up to find another healthier, more compatible person in the future. Accordingly, here are 3 respectable, useful personality tests that will assist you in your dating quest. Each is available online for a small fee:

1) The "Ready Assessment": Brigham Young University has created the "Ready Assessment" questionnaire, which is a useful to take when you are currently single and looking to learn more about yourself. Here you will learn what you need to work on individually to prepare for a future married relationship. The description of this questionnaire directly from their website:

"The READY questionnaire was developed to assist individuals who are not currently in a committed relationship to identify potential trouble spots that may arise in future relationships. The READY Report can help you determine whether you are ready to be in a committed relationship and what areas you can personally work on to increase your chances for success in future relationships.

"Who is READY for? While the RELATE assessment is designed for individuals in a committed relationship, such as engagement, marriage, serious dating, or cohabiting – READY was developed to assist individuals who are not currently in a committed relationship (but would like to be) evaluate their readiness for a future relationship. The questionnaire takes about ½ hour to complete, and the READY report is available instantly once you have completed the questionnaire."


The "Ready Assessment" questionnaire is available at At the site, select "Singles" and follow the instructions from there.

2) The "Relate" Questionnaire:

Along with the "Ready Assessment", Brigham Young University has also created a useful questionnaire called "The Relate Assessment" to be taken by couples already in a dating relationship. This questionnaire blends elements of the "Ready Assessment" with some extra elements for couples. Each partner takes this questionnaire individually, and then the findings are combined together. These findings give implications for both the strengths and potential areas of concern for the couple. Ideally, the areas of concern will then be improved upon through discussion, self help materials, and/or possible even couples therapy as needed. The description of this questionnaire directly from their website:

"The Relationship Evaluation Questionnaire (RELATE) is specifically designed to help guide you and your partner to have meaningful discussions about criteria proven to affect marital satisfaction. Identifying trouble spots and common ground using RELATE often helps people determine whether to continue, deepen, or end the relationship. For marrieds, RELATE helps couples understand and improve their most important relationship.

"Who is RELATE for? You should take RELATE if you are in a committed relationship, whether that be engagement, marriage, serious dating, or cohabiting. You can take RELATE with or without a participating partner, but we strongly recommend that both partners take the questionnaire for best results. The questionnaire takes about one hour to complete, and the RELATE report is available for printing moments after both partners have completed the questionnaire."


The "Ready Assessment" questionnaire is available at At the site, select "Couples", and follow the instructions from there.

3) The "Myers Briggs Type Indicator": The "Myers Briggs" or "MBTI", as it is known, is arguably the largest, most used, and most respected personality assessment in the world. This test will offer you great insights into your basic personality and view of the world, how you'll be as a spouse and partner, the professions that fit you, and how you'll be as a parent. Very useful and insightful. When single, take this to learn more about yourself and work on needed areas of improvement. When dating, you can take this, have your partner also take this, and swap results. This will help you learn a lot about each other in a short time and make for good, useful discussion.

Basically, personality in this test is broken down into 16 different types, with different combinations of 4 different key traits. Accordingly, personality is assessed as a person primarily being oriented more towards "Introverted or Extroverted" (I or E), "Sensation or Intuition" (S or N), "Thinking or Feeling" (T or F), and "Judging or Perceiving" (J or P).
There are many different websites to take this questionnaire online for a small fee, which you can search through if you choose. However, the main, official site to take the test is:

In closing, please learn about yourself and learn about your partner. Improve what's needed. Work on yourselves. Make the adjustments. It's worth it. Because "…neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord" (1 Corinthians 11:11). Best wishes,

Dr. G

2015-12-11 Randy Gilchrist Understanding men, Understanding women, Dating, Communication

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About the author

Hello, my name is Dr. Randy Gilchrist (aka "Dr. G"). I am a licensed clinical psychologist, a licensed marriage & family therapist, and a certified hypnotherapist in private practice in Roseville, CA (, practicing since 1997. Also, I am happily married in the temple (Manti) since 1996 and have 4 sons. I am a volunteer writer and contributor to LDS Dimension. I use my training, education, and experience to share insights with LDS Dimension on all things of interest to the LDS dating community. Please read my articles and columns on this site to assist you in your online dating journey. Also, to be considered for an answer in a future Q and A column, please email me your dating/relationship oriented questions to Finally, I also offer a powerful, effective worldwide custom hypnosis recording service just for LDS Dimension members for weight loss, pornography, and many other issues of concern to those in the LDS dating community (please learn more now at; email me questions to