Marriage preparation

Q&A: How Can I Trust My Choices?

Q&A: How Can I Trust My Choices?

Question: Hi Randy: How do you get over the discouragement and mistrust of your own judgment? I did everything I was ever supposed to do and still ended up married to a very not good person. I've never had a drink, a cigarette, done drugs, always been active in church, did my callings, served a mission, stayed chaste, I knew my husband for over a year before we got married, and we were married in the temple. I even did therapy to deal with past trauma before marriage. I did everything I was

2021-02-01 Randy Gilchrist Dating, Marriage preparation
Marriage Fuel

Marriage Fuel

I’ve heard it said before that a marriage can be thought of as a living organism. Like any organism, “the marriage” can starve and die if it doesn’t receive the proper and adequate nutrition it needs. And even though there are many different forms of relational nutrition for a marriage, I wanted to highlight 2 forms in particular. Below I will share arguably the 2 top marital fuels that are important to a marriage: one for men and one for women. Hopefully when you marry, you can remember this

2020-12-14 Randy Gilchrist Marriage preparation
Ways to Feed Your Marriage

Ways to Feed Your Marriage

There are several elements that research shows makes for a happy marriage, which will be reviewed in this article. If you have been married before or are looking forward towards your first marriage, follow the suggestions here in this little article to have a happy, healthy, lasting, and hopefully eternal marriage. If you think of a marriage as a living organism, it can die either through being killed through conflict, or by being starved through neglect. This article will review some key ways

2020-11-02 Randy Gilchrist Marriage preparation
Mean Girls

Mean Girls

As members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, there shouldn’t be a need for an article on “mean girls”, right? Unfortunately, yes there is. This phenomenon exists in wards and in other church circles just like elsewhere else. Mean girls are just that—girls/women who are mean to each other in certain ways mainly particular to females. This “mean” treatment of others hits a peak in the junior high and high school years, although it generally begins in elementary school and can

2020-10-25 Randy Gilchrist Dating, Marriage preparation
Eternally Single?

Eternally Single?

In the Doctrine & Covenants 132, we learn all about the nature of and difference between a marriage that will be eternal and those who end at the end of mortal life. The difference relates to whether or not you marry in the temple (and keep those covenants) versus if you marry civilly. The idea is that your choices determine these outcomes. However, what if you really want an eternal temple marriage but you settle for civil, hoping for more at some point? Or even possibly hope you will be given

2020-10-12 Randy Gilchrist Marriage preparation, Spirituality
Libido Problems in Marriage

Libido Problems in Marriage

In previous articles I have discussed sex life related topics for single members as an effort to help everyone in preparation for their future marriage. Why? Because sexual dissatisfaction and dysfunction is a common, damaging problem and challenge among married couples in the church. I have discussed the common topic and challenge of sexual hangups (https://www.ldsdimension.com/articles/sexual-hangups-in-marriage-182/), sexual dissatisfaction and dysfunction in marriage

2020-08-31 Randy Gilchrist Healthy relationships, Marriage preparation
Money and Compromise

Money and Compromise

Money is one of the touchier, more challenging subjects for couples and relationships. Complicating the issue is the somewhat mixed messages given on the subject. Some scriptures point out the dangers and even problems of money and a materialistic focus, whereas other scriptures emphasize providing adequately and getting out of debt as positive things. Here are some various scriptures on the subject that frame the pursuit of money in a rather negative light: For the love of money is the root

2020-07-06 Endre Szasz Marriage preparation, Conflict resolution, Finance
Marriage Quotes

Marriage Quotes

Periodically in my articles I like to highlight quotes that modern prophets/official church sources have to say about important and relevant topics, especially relationships and marriage related topics. In this article I want to share some clear, straight forward quotes on marriage that I hope they can be useful and informative. The main idea is that in spite of worldly attitudes, marriage is still ideal, is important to strive for, and is ordained of God. Please continue to pursue this

2020-06-22 Randy Gilchrist Marriage preparation
The World’s Attitude Towards Marriage

The World’s Attitude Towards Marriage

Isaiah warned that in the latter days today, evil shall be called good and good shall be called evil (Isaiah 5:20, 2 Nephi 15:20). That concept covers many areas in life including things like gender differences, gender roles, and marriage. For instance, the world’s attitude towards gender today is largely focused on a rejection of traditional women’s roles and femininity as inferior, a focus on men acting more feminine, and women acting more masculine. Women are encouraged to work and be very

2020-05-10 Randy Gilchrist Marriage preparation
Marriage: Civilly or in the Temple?

Marriage: Civilly or in the Temple?

One topic that is of importance to singles members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints is marriage and all of the questions and concerns surrounding marriage. What if you never marry in this life? What if you have gotten a divorce? What if you marry a non-member or a member without a recommend outside of the temple? What if you are hoping that you will both eventually be worthy and able to marry in the temple and for whatever reason it never happens in this life? These and other

2019-09-22 Randy Gilchrist Marriage preparation, Conflict resolution
Marriage and Relationship Quotes

Marriage and Relationship Quotes

As a clinical psychologist and member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, I have shared many quotes from general authorities with my clients over the years who are fellow members. In this article I will be sharing several quotes that I’ve found has special significance and direction for single church members especially (regarding marriage, relationships, gender, etc.). I feel some of these quotes will be what some members were needing to read at this time in their lives

2019-07-01 Randy Gilchrist Marriage preparation
Vs Loneliness

Vs Loneliness

Instinctively and spiritually, we all have certain feelings and yearnings that serve to prompt us to action. One of the most primal, powerful feelings existing in us all is a desire for connection, companionship, and relationship. The relationship between a man and a woman is a powerful thing. So when we are without that kind of main connection in our lives, it is natural and appropriate for us to feel subtle to strong feelings of loneliness until we have that relationship. Utilized correctly

2019-06-23 Randy Gilchrist Marriage preparation, Psychological health
Why Marriage Matters

Why Marriage Matters

A modern attitude in the world today is that marriage doesn’t matter. Accordingly, marriage rates around the globe are plummeting versus previous years and decades. Much of modern philosophy takes the position that marriage is just the subjugation of women. That it is limiting and just gets in the way of career development, travel, shopping, fun, hobbies, etc. That it just leads to having kids, which traps you, is a drag, and might be good to delay or forgo altogether. So as members of the

2019-06-16 Randy Gilchrist Marriage preparation
The Differences Between Member Couples  and Non-Member Couples

The Differences Between Member Couples and Non-Member Couples

My first session of psychotherapy was in Logan, Utah in February, 1997 (during my master’s program at Utah State University). From then until now, I have done thousands of couples therapy sessions with both members (of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints), as well as non-member couples. This has included those who are dating, engaged, and living together, but mostly those who are married. Sometimes fellow members of the church will ask me what the differences are between member

2019-06-11 Randy Gilchrist Healthy relationships, Marriage preparation
Positive Motivators to Date and Marry

Positive Motivators to Date and Marry

by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com FREE Online Dating Being members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, we know the church’s stance on marriage: that we need to do it. That we need to search it out and make it happen the best we can. There is some pressure, some guilt, some obligation underneath it all to have the ideal, traditional married family unit. To reinforce this, conference talks will regularly remind singles of this need, which can often

2019-02-24 Randy Gilchrist Dating, Marriage preparation
Keeping the Law of Chastity While Dating

Keeping the Law of Chastity While Dating

One of the most challenging issues facing all single members of the church is how to date, get engaged, and make it to marriage without crossing sexual (“intimate”) lines and having to work with the bishop in a repentance process. This challenge is often even more difficult when dating partners have been previously married or otherwise have sexual experience, making avoiding trouble that much more challenging. So, how can members of the church get through this dating process without breaking

2019-01-21 Randy Gilchrist Dating, Marriage preparation