An important question for those in the dating world is, “what are the most effective ways to meet new people to date?” Some ways are definitely better and more successful than others. Research on the subject has shown some interesting findings. As reviewed at https://www.bustle.com/p/the-most-popular-ways-people-are-meeting-their-significant-others-in-2018-8075828, a 2018 survey about dating from technology company ReportLinker, surveyed over 550 respondents, ages 18-64, who were married or in a relationship, to find out how people were meeting today. The criteria for what defined a “successful” relationship was that they have been together over 12 months. The findings from most to least successful were as follows:
1) Through friends: 39%
2) At work: 15%
3) At public areas: 12%
4) At sport/religion/hobby events: 9%
5) On the internet and dating apps: 9%
6) Through family: 8%
7) School: 6%
8) Speed dating: 1%
Analysis of the findings:
The main finding of note here is that meeting people in real life is much more effective than meeting others online because of inherent advantages of doing so. As explain in the Bustle article, “The biggest advantage to meeting potential dates in real life is getting to experience their vibe right away, which is something no online dating platform can deliver…This increases your odds of making good choices on who to go on a date with. There's no better way to gauge attraction and chemistry than to be physically present with someone."
Conversely, online dating through websites and apps has two tremendous advantages over life/face-to-face introductions: convenience and selection. Therefore, the wisest approach to dating is to not limit yourself to one approach. Even more, it is best to broaden your approach to consider all main introduction options when the opportunities present themselves. Some live introduction opportunities are spontaneous and opportunistic. But the main exception can be meeting through mutual friends. Such introductions can be intentional by the mutual friend. This is often because this mutual acquaintance, who happens to know both of you, has the impression that you both would “be good for each other”. So in a sense, a good mutual friend can act as a great matchmaker for lasting love and commitment.
Making the Most of Friends and Introductions
So even though trying all approaches on the list is a good idea, working to make the best use of the power and effectiveness of friends and their introductions is a great place to focus on. If you don’t have a lot of friends to give introductions and/or the ones you know don’t seem to know anyone to introduce you to, that doesn’t mean you give up on this option.
You can always work to expand your social circle to joining and being involved with groups, clubs, or organizations of those with similar interests that you can befriend and bond with. Then, ASK them. Ask if they know any members of the opposite sex that they think would be good for you that they could introduce you to. Don’t be shy. And if they don’t have anyone to recommend to you, ask them to keep this in mind if their circumstances change and can introduce you to someone in the future.
Another idea to increase your chances of meeting others through friends: either initiate or accept invitations to group dates, parties, events, dances, and other group get-togethers where friend introductions are likely. All of this requires you to get out of your shell and socialize. To be daring. Perhaps same-sex and platonic opposite sex friends haven’t seemed very important to your dating life to this point, but they truly can be. Work to become a more of a social butterfly and additional introduction opportunities will present themselves.
To strengthen your friend-making skills and increase your social circle, here are several resources for you to consider:
How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie
People Skills by Robert Bolton
The 2 main things to take from the research in this article is as follows: 1) implement a variety of ways to meet others and don’t limit yourself, and 2) meeting through friend introductions is the most effective method, so building friendships for future introductions is a smart approach. Don’t isolate yourself or only rely on online dating. And if any of the listed approaches to meeting others is awkward or uncomfortable for you, you can work on those things. Face-to-face social skills can be worked on and improved upon. Give yourself every advantage and opportunity and work to have the happy relationship you desire. Because “…neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord.”—1 Corinthians 11:11
P.S. If you can questions, comments, or a future article request for me, feel free to contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
About the author
Hello, my name is Dr. Randy Gilchrist (aka "Dr. G"). I am a licensed clinical psychologist, a licensed marriage & family therapist, and a certified hypnotherapist in private practice in Roseville, CA (www.dr-rg.com), practicing since 1997. Also, I am happily married in the temple (Manti) since 1996 and have 4 sons. I am a volunteer writer and contributor to LDS Dimension. I use my training, education, and experience to share insights with LDS Dimension on all things of interest to the LDS dating community. Please read my articles and columns on this site to assist you in your online dating journey. Also, to be considered for an answer in a future Q and A column, please email me your dating/relationship oriented questions to email@example.com. Finally, I also offer a powerful, effective worldwide custom hypnosis recording service just for LDS Dimension members for weight loss, pornography, and many other issues of concern to those in the LDS dating community (please learn more now at www.dr-rg.com/lds; email me questions to firstname.lastname@example.org).