by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist
www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site)
Nephi of old demonstrated that an excellent use of the scriptures is to liken them unto ourselves. He says: “Now it came to pass that I, Nephi, did teach my brethren these things; and it came to pass that I did read many things to them, which were engraven upon the plates of brass, that they might know concerning the doings of the Lord in other lands, among people of old. And I did read many things unto them which were written in the books of Moses; but that I might more fully persuade them to believe in the Lord their Redeemer I did read unto them that which was written by the prophet Isaiah; for I did liken all scriptures unto us, that it might be for our profit and learning (I Nephi 19:22-23).
Accordingly, there are many parts of the scriptures that demonstrate healthy approaches to life challenges that LDS singles can liken to themselves for their benefit. The following are 2 examples in the scriptures that I think have particular relevance for LDS singles today.
Example 1: Nephi and his Brother Travel to Find Wives
After Lehi, Sariah and the entire family followed the Lord’s counsel to flee Jerusalem for their safety from impending threat and harm, Lehi received a revelation that he needed to send his sons back to Jerusalem to persuade Ishmael and his family to join Lehi’s family to provide wives and families for Lehi’s sons. The trek took a number of days traveling in the wilderness and involved great threat and danger along the way (as all such wilderness travel seems to involve). Nevertheless, having wives and families is essential to the Lord’s plan. Therefore, whatever sacrifice and trek was needed was made by Nephi and his brothers to have families and populate the new promised land. In similar fashion, whatever reasonable travels, efforts, or sacrifices needed from our ends to find and secure a new healthy marriage and family should be made as well. Individual circumstances vary, but you get the idea.
And now I would that ye might know, that after my father, Lehi, had made an end of prophesying concerning his seed, it came to pass that the Lord spake unto him again, saying that it was not meet for him, Lehi, that he should take his family into the wilderness alone; but that his sons should take daughters to wife, that they might raise up seed unto the Lord in the land of promise. And it came to pass that the Lord commanded him that I, Nephi, and my brethren, should again return unto the land of Jerusalem, and bring down Ishmael and his family into the wilderness. And it came to pass that I, Nephi, did again, with my brethren, go forth into the wilderness to go up to Jerusalem. (I Nephi 7:1-3).
Example 2: Moroni Successfully Combats Loneliness
Moroni had his entire family killed, including his parents, his wife and children, and his friends. He was literally the last Nephite alive and spent at least 20+ years of his life completely alone to wander, survive, hide, and finish and preserve the golden plates as instructed by his father. Moroni was faithful, finished and hid the plates, and finally, successfully returns in the 1820s to deliver the plates for translation and distribution through the prophet Joseph Smith. Moroni literally became the angel from heaven bringing the everlasting gospel with him (The Book of Mormon), thus fulfilling prophesy from Revelations 14:6 and ushering in the restoration of the gospel. The next time you feel lonely, know that Moroni was even more crushingly lonely for 2+ decades. Through grief, trauma, and tremendous loneliness, he persevered and endured to the end as the last prophet of The Book of Mormon. We too need to follow his example and handle our own periods of loneliness and hardship with dignity and righteousness.
And now it came to pass that after the great and tremendous battle at Cumorah, behold, the Nephites who had escaped into the country southward were hunted by the Lamanites, until they were all destroyed. And my father also was killed by them, and I even remain alone to write the sad tale of the destruction of my people. But behold, they are gone, and I fulfil the commandment of my father. And whether they will slay me, I know not. Therefore I will write and hide up the records in the earth; and whither I go it mattereth not. Behold, my father hath made this record, and he hath written the intent thereof. And behold, I would write it also if I had room upon the plates, but I have not; and ore I have none, for I am alone. My father hath been slain in battle, and all my kinsfolk, and I have not friends nor whither to go; and how long the Lord will suffer that I may live I know not. And behold, the Lamanites have hunted my people, the Nephites, down from city to city and from place to place, even until they are no more; and great has been their fall; yea, great and marvelous is the destruction of my people, the Nephites.
(Mormon 8:2-5, 7)
Nevertheless, Moroni stayed faithful until the end through unimaginable hardship, which we can do as well:
Now I, Moroni, after having made an end of abridging the account of the people of Jared, I had supposed not to have written more, but I have not as yet perished; and I make not myself known to the Lamanites lest they should destroy me. For behold, their wars are exceedingly fierce among themselves; and because of their hatred they put to death every Nephite that will not deny the Christ. And I, Moroni, will not deny the Christ; wherefore, I wander whithersoever I can for the safety of mine own life (Moroni 1:1-3). Nevertheless, Moroni’s final sendoff shows he indeed endured to the end: And now I bid unto all, farewell. I soon go to rest in the paradise of God, until my spirit and body shall again reunite, and I am brought forth triumphant through the air, to meet you before the pleasing bar of the great Jehovah, the Eternal Judge of both quick and dead. Amen (Moroni 10:34).
Make whatever reasonable efforts, travels, or other sacrifices are needed to find and establish a new healthy marriage and family is a worthwhile endeavor, as shown by Nephi and his brothers. Until that works out, handling loneliness and being single with worthiness and dignity is the example shown by Moroni that we can emulate as well. Nephi and Moroni have set the example and we can follow their lead. It is worth it. Because "…neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord" (1 Corinthians 11:11).
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About the author
Hello, my name is Dr. Randy Gilchrist (aka "Dr. G"). I am a licensed clinical psychologist, a licensed marriage & family therapist, and a certified hypnotherapist in private practice in Roseville, CA (www.dr-rg.com), practicing since 1997. Also, I am happily married in the temple (Manti) since 1996 and have 4 sons. I am a volunteer writer and contributor to LDS Dimension. I use my training, education, and experience to share insights with LDS Dimension on all things of interest to the LDS dating community. Please read my articles and columns on this site to assist you in your online dating journey. Also, to be considered for an answer in a future Q and A column, please email me your dating/relationship oriented questions to firstname.lastname@example.org. Finally, I also offer a powerful, effective worldwide custom hypnosis recording service just for LDS Dimension members for weight loss, pornography, and many other issues of concern to those in the LDS dating community (please learn more now at www.dr-rg.com/lds; email me questions to email@example.com).