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Rescuing the Damsel in Distressby Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) In a previous article, I wrote about how some women tend to be attracted to and choose to be in a relationship with "the bad boy". Men also have a tendency to get involved with a troublesome type of relationship choice: the damsel in distress. A damsel in distress is basically any woman who is very troubled emotionally, practically, or otherwise, which is attractive to some men. This usually
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Whittling Down Your Dating Poolby Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) Sometimes in dating, you might find yourself liking and being attracted to more than one potential partner. Or, sometimes you might be dating more than one person at the same time. Eventually, it comes to a point where you need to make a decision: date one, end the relationship with the other, or end the relationship with both of them. Perhaps you begin to feel guilty. Perhaps you become concerned
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The In-Lawsby Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) It is said that when you marry someone, you also marry their entire family, for better or worse. To date and marry someone, it can be wise to pay attention to who and what you may be taking on with their extended family. Some in-law relationships are easy and harmonious, others are contentious with a lot of friction, and yet others are minimal or even non-existent, especially when they live far away.
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Double Standards in Relationshipsby Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) According to the Webster dictionary, a double standard refers to "a situation in which two people, groups, etc., are treated very differently from each other in a way that is unfair to one of them". In relationships specifically, a double standard occurs when one partner is allowed to engage in certain behaviors or habits that the other partner is not allowed to do. The hypocrisy of such double
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Are All the Good Ones Gone?A common refrain I hear in the LDS singles community goes something like "all of the good ones are already taken", "all of the good ones are already married", "there's nobody left", etc. That's not really true, but the assumption exists for a reason. It's true that when we pass our early 20s, the remaining singles will have lived more life and accumulated more experiences. These additional life experiences generally include marriage, divorce, children/potential blended families, sexual
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Single--Feeling Like a Second Class Member?by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) One of the tough truths as an active Latter Day Saint is that because marriage, and the family that follows marriage, is the main ideal unit and foundation of the church, where does that leave singles? Whether divorced or never married, many singles can often feel like second class members of the church. Perhaps not seeing themselves as important, relevant, or valued like those who are married with
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Accepting Singlehood?by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) Tired of being single? Tired of trying to find someone over the months, years, even decades with no luck? It is very common and understandable to feel sad, frustrated, and even hopeless. Worn out from such feelings over time, many LDS young adults and mid singles can become tempted to give up. Singles can start to think things like, "maybe I should just give up", "maybe I'll just accept that I'll
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Being Attracted to the Bad Boyby Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) So, what is it about the "bad boy"? How is it that such guys are often so attractive to so many women, both in and out of the church? Knowing that they are "trouble", how is it that so many still seem to command so much attention and attraction? What is so exciting about troubled men, when other often nicer and more respectful men are deemed too "boring", "nice", or deemed "just friends"? How is this
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Hanging Out or Dating?by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) In the 2000s and especially the 2010s and beyond, both in and out of the LDS scene, it seems that dating today is different than it has been in the past. Technology, the media, shifting standards, and other modern changes have had a ripple effect in the dating arena. One of the many changes occurring lately is the evolution from "courting" in the 1940s and earlier, to "dating" from the 1950s to the
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Breaking Up Is Hard To Doby Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) In 1962, rock and roll legend Neil Sedaka released his most famous hit, "Breaking Up Is Hard To Do". Lyrics: You tell me that you're leavin', I can't believe it's true! Girl, there's just no livin' without you. Don't take your love away from me. Don't you leave my heart in misery. 'Cause if you go, then I'll be blue, Breakin' up is hard to do. Remember when you held me tight, And you kissed
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Would the Grass be Greener in Another Relationship?by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) When considering someone to date, when in a dating relationship, when engaged or especially when married, a normal human tendency both in and out of the church is to wonder if "the grass is greener on the other side of the fence". In other words, we wonder if another relationship besides what we are in would be better. Maybe someone else would be better looking, nicer, richer, more fun, better with
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Giving Apologiesby Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) An apology is, by definition, "a regretful acknowledgement of an offense or failure". A couple of scriptures supporting the concept of apologies are as follows: "Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God." --Matthew 5:9 "For I will declare mine iniquity; I will be sorry for my sin." --Psalms 38:18 Most of us learned growing up that when we wrong another
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Temple Sealing FAQThis document is not meant to be the definitive word on Temple Sealings, if you have a question, ask your Bishop/Stake President. What I have here is based on research and asking church leaders, but the First Presidency can always be asked for exceptions and they can ask of GOD and you might get what you asked for. We are a church lead by a Prophet, and we are encouraged to ask. We might not get the answer we want, but asking is a good thing. Let’s talk about “sealings” for a moment. In the
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Poor Marriage Role Modelsby Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) Research and clinical experience show that children of highly troubled marriages--whether or not they stayed together or eventually divorced--are at a notably higher risk of future relationship problems themselves. Marital problems often leading to role modeling challenges include divorce, communication problems, conflict resolution issues, gender attitudes, disrespect, verbal or physical abuse, etc.
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Intergender Communication Skills in the LDS Singles SceneThe #1 macro level problem I see in the LDS Singles scene, is an utter lack of understanding of the opposite sex. I guess this is more of a societal problem in general, but we can take some steps to mitigate it. Women tend to think of men as just harrier women, without much thought of how fundamentally different men and women are. This is also a problem from the male perspective, but men are much more outcome based, whereas women are process based, and this means that women will tend to
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First Impressionsby Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) First impressions are the initial idea you create about what a person is like/others create about you, based upon initial cues like tone of voice, body language, facial expressions, first words, and other immediate/superficial factors. Sometimes, initial impressions end up different than how we end up feelings towards or about a person. However, more often than not, the initial first impression we
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