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Marital Prioritiesby Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) A big part of the reason that so many marriages today—including temple marriages—end is because in some way, one or both spouses have a priority problem. Other things become more important than the marriage, the marriage suffers through conflict and neglect, and eventually ends. So when you marry (or marry again), this will be an opportunity to place the marriage as the top priority to give you the
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A World Hostile to MarriageToday, the world promotes a hostile attitude towards all gospel principles including and especially marriage. If Satan can split or prevent marriages, he can break apart families and cause much pain, suffering, and instability in the world. This hostility and opposition to marriage was foretold in the scriptures and in many ways, has been present from the beginning. Scriptures Tell of the Hostile Attitudes A particular scripture has strong implications for latter day hostilities. In a
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Money and RelationshipsMoney is one of the top 5 most argued about topics at home and in the couples therapy office, leading to many breakups and divorces. The topic has lead to endless friction, conflict, contention, and resentment. Why is money such a touchy topic? Because money relates to so many elements of lifestyle and in a general sense, survival. Without money, bills cannot be paid. And if bills are not paid, cars and houses are lost, credit scores are ruined, and the ability to live is greatly diminished.
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Learning to Be Happy and SingleSo, you are single and LDS. Perhaps you sometimes feel like an outsider compared to married members. You may or may have been previously married. You may or may not have kids. But either way, for whatever reason, you are currently single. Are you able to be happy as a single member? Yes. Absolutely. In this brief article, ideas will be given to help you be happy during your period of singlehood, however long it may be. First of all, I want to make it clear that in general, you will have an
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Antagonism Towards the Opposite SexMan and woman were created for each other. Opposites. Compliments. Mutual supports. Different roles. Originally in Genesis, it says: “And the Lord God planted a garden eastward in Eden; and there he put the man whom he had formed. And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him. And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; And the rib, which the
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Why Not Me?by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) Sometimes LDS singles wonder things like “why not me?”, “why haven’t I found someone yet (or again)?”, “why does it seem like it always works out for everyone else?”, “what is wrong with me?”, “what do others have that I must be lacking?”, and so on. It can shake our confidence to the core as the months, years, even decades go by still single. It becomes easy to question ourselves and others around
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Selfishness—the Destroyer of Marriageby Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) When it comes to marriage, selfishness is the great destroyer. Selfishness is defined by dictionary.com as “devoted to or caring only for oneself; concerned primarily with one's own interests, benefits, welfare, etc., regardless of others; manifesting concern or care only for oneself”. Primarily caring about oneself in a marriage often leads to neglect, hurtfulness, and a lack of consideration
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When Your Current Partner Pays for What the Ex DidPast Relationship Carryover: When Your Current Partner Pays for What the Ex Did by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) Unfortunately, after a former dating partner or spouse hurts a person greatly, there is a risk, if they are not careful and conscientious, of making the current relationship partner pay for and suffer for what the ex did. No, this is not fair, right, or even logical. Even worse, such inappropriate, paranoid
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Breaking Out of Introversionby Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) Being introverted often causes major challenges and hurdles for LDS singles trying to meet, date, and marry. Introversion is defined by dictionary.com as “the act of directing one's interest inward or to things within the self; the state of being concerned primarily with one's own thoughts and feelings rather than with the external environment”. In other words, people who are introverted are mainly
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When Are Advances Welcome?by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) One of the trickiest parts of being an LDS single (or a single in general) can be determining if a new love interest you are getting to know is in fact interested in return and welcome to your advances. Tricky because what may have been hoped to be romantic, exciting, and connective may actually be unwelcome advances. Even worse, you can come across as creepy, unwanted, and even harassing. So, how
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Don’t Be a Victim!by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) Many of those in the LDS singles community can relate to the idea that they have been victimized by a previous dating partner, fiancé, or ex-spouse. Perhaps that describes you. Was your ex boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse verbally abusive? Physically abusive? Sexually abusive? Neglectful? Did they have addiction problems (drugs, alcohol, gambling, pornography)? Infidelity (actual cheating, emotional
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New to the Dating World Again?by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) If you have been in a serious, long term relationship, an engagement, or even a marriage, it can be challenging to suddenly find yourself single again after all of that time. You likely thought you wouldn’t ever be here again in this position. Thinking singlehood and the dating life was behind you, suddenly you are here again. It can be a shock and a challenging transition. Even when you saw it
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Friends or Frenemies?by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) For LDS singles, friends play an important role. Besides helping to lessen loneliness and providing bonding, fun, and companionship, same sex friends can have a large impact on your dating prospects and experience. However, what varies is the degree to which certain friends actually help your dating opportunities and successes—or, in the end, hinder them. Beware the Frenemy Have you ever heard
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Giving Positive Energyby Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) I am about to discuss something that is probably going to sound extremely obvious in writing. However, unfortunately in real life, this topic is often ignored or not considered. The topic is simple: energy. The energy we give off and present to others in the LDS singles/dating environment. Positive energy will attract, negative energy will either repel or will attract the wrong kind of person. So
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Uptight: The Obsessive Compulsive Personalityby Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) In past articles, I have written about the personality disorders I have seen create great conflict in the LDS singles scene with dating and relationships in general. Those personality disorders previously addressed have consisted of antisocial, narcissistic, borderline, and histrionic. There is one more personality disorder that I wish to discuss to also help you beware of. It is lesser known, but
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Can You Grow to Be Attracted to Someone?by Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com (FREE LDS online dating site) In many LDS singles scenes, friendships and connections are common. Romantic relationship, less so. Romantic attraction is a mysterious mixture of physical appeal, personality, and other intangibles. All of these factors taken together add up to feeling like “more than friends”. A common frustration in singles scenes occurs when a person theoretically or practically “seems like” they would be a good
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