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OptimismOptimism is defined as follows (according to Google): hopefulness and confidence about the future or the successful outcome of something. So, how can you be optimistic about your present and future with relationships and marriage, as well as life in general? And why would that be a helpful and important thing to do? That will be the focus of this article. First, being optimistic in your relationship approach is important because that will be the most effective approach possible. The more
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Selfishness in RelationshipsSelfishness is a large problem today in relationships and marriages, both in and out of the church. We live in a selfish, me-me-me, immediate gratification society. This selfishness is promoted in all segments of society today, including: TV, movies, social media, and many other parts of the internet. In this article, I am going to give several general authority quotes that clarify how selfishness and narcissism need to be lessened, while empathy, consideration, and giving are needed instead to
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Expectations in RelationshipsExpectations are defined as follows: “your strong hopes or beliefs that something will happen or that you will get something that you want.” (source: www.collinsdictionary.com). In the dating and relationship world, expectation involves your hopes or beliefs in how this other person will be, what they will do for you, and what your life will be like together. From my experience, the problems with relationship expectations come when the expectations are either too low or too high. Too low of
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Quotes to RememberI have been doing therapy since 1997. Over the years and thousands of sessions later, I have had the luxury of gaining some great insights from my clients. One type of insight I enjoy comes from the quotes and sayings shared along the way offering great application for many situations in life people are experiencing, including those in dating and relationships. In this article I am going to review a number of the more helpful sayings and quotes I can recall in hopes that you too can be helped
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Forgiveness in RelationshipsIn dating, relationships, and marriage there is one thing you can predict and count on. That is that sometimes your partner will say or do something to offend or hurt you. Sometimes they will be acting intentionally hurtful, other times no offense was intended. In either event, hurt feelings result. And then what? Well, some partners will hold onto the offense and develop a grudge, whereas others will work to let go of the offense and forgive pretty quickly. Most of the time the result will be
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Being HappyI have heard it said before that when we are happy, we better match up with another happy person in a relationship. You give out happiness and then attract it better in return. The happier we are individually, the better the journey will be as a single member of the church as well. That doesn’t mean you don’t desire marriage and companionship. It means you are happy in your current life right now and will be even happier with a positive relationship, commitment, and marriage in the future. So
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Hope in Future RelationshipsWhen one’s relationship life has included difficult breakups, hurt, disappointment, and even trauma, it very understandable that people may lose hope in having and retaining a committed relationship. Does this describe you? Do you feel “snakebitten” from previous relationships? Does the hurt from whatever you have been through make you second guess whether you can make a future relationship worse? If so, then it may be worth your while to strengthen your hope in the future. Because if you don’t
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Cats, Dogs, and RelationshipsWhat do different pets say about their owners? It’s true that owners of different pets tend to have certain traits that would make them a match for such an animal. In other words, the choice of animal a person makes gives you some insight into the individual: their personality, their outlook on life, what they are interested in, and so on. An important element of relationships is the need for new people to be sharp and effective new relationship detectives. The sooner you find out what the
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What Matters Most in a PartnerWhat matters most in your choice of partner? First of all in previous articles, I’ve reviewed basic nature of attraction: what men are attracted to in women and what women are attracted to in men. These articles reviewed those important elements that promote initial attraction and keep attraction going. Attraction matters. These articles can be reviewed at: https://www.ldsdimension.com/articles/attractors-with-men-unwritten-forces-at-work-283/
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Lessons from Adam and EveHave you ever wondered why Adam and Eve were chosen to be the first man and woman for Earth? Why were these particular people chosen to have the first marriage and to be the first to populate the planet? What was it about these two? Well in my opinion, these two were chosen because they were special, obedient, faithful people who could be trusted and counted on to effectively start the human race in an appropriate, successful manner. In this little article, some scriptures from Adam and Eve
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Being Happy and HealthyA common idea shared with singles is that you need to be happy and healthy yourself first, and then you will be more ready to have a healthy relationship with someone else. While there are some different opinions out there on how important this is before your next relationship, it is safe to say that working to be personally healthy, happy, and balanced in a good goal no matter where you are at relationship-wise. In this article, several key areas will be reviewed to help you be happy and
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Narcissism and CodependencyIn previous articles, I introduced and talked about the concepts of narcissism. (See: https://www.ldsdimension.com/articles/narcissists-what-to-watch-for-97/ and codependency https://www.ldsdimension.com/articles/codependency-maybe-its-you-101/). In sum, a narcissistic person lacks empathy and is selfish, self-absorbed, and often disrespectful and abusive to others. A codependent person is generally overly giving, very accommodating, and others oriented to an extreme degree, putting them at
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Attractors with Men: Unwritten Forces at WorkMen. We are pretty simple creatures for the most part. We may or may not be “easy” to deal with, depending on our personality and whatever other issues we may have. But otherwise, we are usually pretty simple. This especially involves what we are attracted to with women. From my experience both as a man and as a therapist seeing these forces at work, there are a few (3) key things that tend to find especially attractive with women. To understand these traits will help women know why they are or
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Being A Commitment-Oriented PersonIn the 2020s with both members and non-members of the church alike, commitment in relationships and marriage has become weak and strained. And harder to find and maintain than previous generations. While there are numerous societal shifts and factors that have contributed to this development, a primary contributor to this problem is technology and the immediate gratification that comes from it. With Facebook, Instagram, Match, Tinder, You Tube, Tik Tok, online gaming, etc., people and
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Thoughts on RelationshipsOver the years, I have worked with thousands of individuals and couples with all types of relationship challenges and difficulties. Relationships and especially marriage is difficult today for sure. The divorce rate has risen to 50%+ since 1976 when the no-fault divorce laws kicked in from the early 1970s. Stress, conflict, pressure, personality clashes, and multiple needs, wants, and feelings inevitably make marriages difficult, strained, and challenging. It is tough to keep them together. So
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Staying Close and Connectedby Dr. Randy Gilchrist, LDS Psychologist www.LDSdimension.com FREE Online Dating In dating and marriage, the honeymoon phase of infatuation will help carry a relationship from the beginning for a number of months or even a year or two. However, even the most exciting, stimulating relationship will eventually calm down, cool off, and become—gasp—mundane. No escaping it. Nothing will be new and stay new forever. Impossible. As the initial powerful butterflies calm down, a more companionate
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