Depression includes feelings of sadness, hopelessness, and helplessness, as well as feeling blue, down, lethargic, unmotivated, and so on. Eating and sleeping habits become strained, along with other elements of self-care. When looking to date and marry, having frustration, heartache, and heartbreak can understandably lead to depression. And then unfortunately, when someone is depressed, they are less likely to successfully meet, date, and marry someone as well. Unfortunately, people who are depressed often come across as off-putting towards others. Initial impressions from depressed people usually goes poorly. Or when a relationship begins but then later a partner witnesses a depressed mood or episode in the other, a loss of interest is often the result. Sure, we all have bad days and down times. However, in the beginning of a relationship we are generally best served by showing our best side and putting our best foot forward. By being happy, positive, and in a good mood. Therefore, for your dating and relationship success, along with your quality of life in general, managing periodic depression can be very important.
Depression Management Ideas:
*Positive self-talk: a lot of your mood—both positive and negative—is largely the result of the self-talk you have inside. When we feel depressed, we naturally engage in negative self-talk inside, when then amplifies depression, and on it goes. To break the cycle of negative self-talk, the first challenge is to be aware. Too often our self-talk is unexamined and just accepted as truth. However, when self-talk is negative, noticing the content of what you tell yourself inside is an essential first step. Practice consciously directing your self-talk towards the positive, the optimistic, and the hopeful. You can make a case for this either way. But only the positive will lift your spirits and support your relationship efforts.
*Move more: good depression management includes regular, moderate exercise and other elements of a physically active lifestyle. When we exercise regularly, we stir up numerous chemicals inside that boost our moods in a positive direction. These chemicals include endorphins, adrenaline, lactic acid, dopamine, and others. Conversely, when we don’t exercise and are more sedentary, such chemicals are low and dormant. Depressive feelings generally result, including low energy, low motivation, and feeling lethargic. Exercising regularly helps those who are dragging break out of their funk and regain their energy, drive, passion, and perkiness.
*Get therapeutic help: there are many excellent therapeutic tools and resources today to help manage depression. Traditional psychotherapy with a qualified clinical psychologist or other licensed psychotherapist is a great way to tackle depression in a very humanistic manner, specific to a person’s issues and needs. Other helpful therapeutic resources include quality books, videos, and audiobooks. A workbook I recommend for depression is Mind Over Mood by Greenberger and Padesky. Beyond self-help resources I also recommend local or online self-help groups or classes focused on depression and mood support.
*Improve your diet: Eating healthy raw foods, lean proteins, and adding water to your diet will boost both mood and energy levels. Cutting out (or at least limiting) simple carbohydrates and sugars will also help lessen that draggy, bloated feeling that comes from consuming junk food. A good resource to learn more about consuming healthy, quality foods is either The New Abs Diet, or The New Abs Diet for Women, both by David Zinczenko, former editor-in-chief of Men’s Health magazine.
*Socialize: Being around healthy, happy, positive others is uplifting. Enjoying positive social connections with friends, family, and new people in your life will boost your mood. Of course, it is important as much as possible to choose and surround yourself with others that are more positive, supportive, and encouraging. Even better is when you spend time with others already in a happy relationship or marriage, role modeling what is possible to help you be encouraged that you can have that as well. There is an old saying: “birds of a feather, flock together.” The more positive people you surround yourself with, the better your mood will be. And if others around you are struggling or having a hard time, please try to uplift them as well. Depression and happiness are both moods that are contagious both directions. Choose happiness, be around happiness.
Final Thoughts:
Depression is best managed in a strategic, proactive way. We all feel down sometimes. Please do not allow yourself to stay in that place. Make choices to help pull yourself out of the blues and elevate yourself. Boost your mood through good psychological, behavioral, and physiological self-care. Treat your body and mind well and the reward will be a happier mood and better quality of life. When you are happy and healthy you attract others that are similar. Not only will this boost your relationship opportunities, but it will help your life in general. Finally, remember that “…neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord.” (1 Corinthians 11:1).
Dr. G
P.S. If you have any questions, comments, or a future article request for me, feel free to contact me at drgilchrist@yahoo.com.
| 2024-03-23 | Randy Gilchrist | Psychological health |
About the author
Hello, my name is Dr. Randy Gilchrist (aka "Dr. G"). I am a licensed clinical psychologist, a licensed marriage & family therapist, and a certified hypnotherapist in private practice in Roseville, CA (www.dr-rg.com), practicing since 1997. Also, I am happily married in the temple (Manti) since 1996 and have 4 sons. I am a volunteer writer and contributor to LDS Dimension. I use my training, education, and experience to share insights with LDS Dimension on all things of interest to the LDS dating community. Please read my articles and columns on this site to assist you in your online dating journey. Also, to be considered for an answer in a future Q and A column, please email me your dating/relationship oriented questions to drgilchrist@yahoo.com. Finally, I also offer a powerful, effective worldwide custom hypnosis recording service just for LDS Dimension members for weight loss, pornography, and many other issues of concern to those in the LDS dating community (please learn more now at www.dr-rg.com/lds; email me questions to drgilchrist@yahoo.com).