One of the best things you can do to prepare for your next relationship is to learn to be happier. The happier you can become, the better. Being happy is attractive, shows security, and will help a future relationship successfully get off the ground running and nurture it from there. Of course, being happier is also important for your overall quality of life as well. Therefore, becoming happier is an excellent goal for many reasons.
Elements of Happiness:
In the classic book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey, the idea is given that to be healthy, happy, and balanced, four areas of life need to be regularly addressed and fulfilled:
A) Physical Health: To be physically healthy involves good regular eating, sleeping, and exercise. Another element of physical health involves moderate relaxation. If you relax too much, you will feel lethargic, sluggish, and low energy. Conversely, if you relax too little, you will feel worn down and eventually exhausted. Also, in addition to following the Word of Wisdom: avoiding alcohol, tobacco, and illicit drugs, it is also important to take your prescription medications (if any) as prescribed. It is hard to feel emotionally healthy and happy if you feel physically unhealthy and your body is suffering. Care for your body like the temple it is.
B) Social Health: when the key relationships in your life are regularly attended to and these relationships are basically healthy and positive, these connections help promote happiness. Having someone to date, as well as having other positive and regular associations with the opposite sex helps a lot as singles. Beyond that, connections with family of origin, extended family, friends, coworkers, ward members, strangers, and acquaintances all make for important connections as well. Isolation and neglected/unhealthy/abusive relationships lead to feelings like depression, anxiety, and loneliness. Conversely, healthy, positive relationships promote connection, belonging, and overall happiness.
C) Self/Individual Health: the relationship you have with yourself and how you treat yourself matters towards your happiness. Feeling productive and constructive matters, as does having fun. Self-health includes working and earning money, learning new things, enjoying personal hobbies, self-help, counseling (when needed), and the overall relationship you have with yourself. How you talk to and treat yourself adds to self-health. How you take care of and treat yourself matters and need to not be neglected.
D) Spiritual Health: spiritual health involves having your principles, values, morals, ethics, and ideas of right or wrong basically defined and upheld. Being fellow church members gives us the advantage of this clarity through our gospel principles and doctrines learned from church, classes, and self-study. We can know we are basically being good church members when we regularly do the following: 1) read/watch/listen to scriptures (and other official church materials), 2) pray and exhibit faith, 3) attend 2 hours of church, 4) fulfill our callings, and 5) being temple worthy. Being temple worthy ideally includes holding an active, valid temple recommend and attending the temple regularly. When we do those things and possess the Spirit, we will have spiritual health, which greatly contributes to our happiness. Wickedness never was happiness. Conversely, having the Spirit IS being happy. From the inside out.
Final Thoughts:
A famous old saying goes as follows: “if it is to be, it’s up to me”. Happiness can be thought of as up to ourselves as well. When we are basically doing all we can to address and fulfill these four, important areas of our lives on a regular basis, we will be healthy, happy, balanced, and fulfilled. Conversely, as we struggle in one or more of these key areas, we will likely be less happy or even unhappy. All of the areas matter and contribute to happiness in different ways. That is the main thing to learn and remember about this article. So, whenever you feel angry, anxious, or depressed, one or more of these elements of your life is going to be out of whack in some way and will need correcting.
Having that self-awareness is a helpful first step of being happier. After that, your happiness will increase as you address, correct, and fulfill whatever area of your life most needs improvement. The happiness that you will then enjoy and experience will be a natural result of this improved self-care, balance, and fulfillment. Remember, happiness is a result and a by-product of the status of all of these areas of your life. Care for yourself in all of these ways and your insides will reward you with peace, happiness, fulfilment and contentment. Please treat yourself as you would someone you really love. And remember that “…neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord.”—1 Corinthians 11:11.
Dr. G
P.S. If you can questions, comments, or a future article request for me, feel free to contact me at drgilchrist@yahoo.com.
| 2021-07-25 | Randy Gilchrist | Healthy relationships |
About the author
Hello, my name is Dr. Randy Gilchrist (aka "Dr. G"). I am a licensed clinical psychologist, a licensed marriage & family therapist, and a certified hypnotherapist in private practice in Roseville, CA (www.dr-rg.com), practicing since 1997. Also, I am happily married in the temple (Manti) since 1996 and have 4 sons. I am a volunteer writer and contributor to LDS Dimension. I use my training, education, and experience to share insights with LDS Dimension on all things of interest to the LDS dating community. Please read my articles and columns on this site to assist you in your online dating journey. Also, to be considered for an answer in a future Q and A column, please email me your dating/relationship oriented questions to drgilchrist@yahoo.com. Finally, I also offer a powerful, effective worldwide custom hypnosis recording service just for LDS Dimension members for weight loss, pornography, and many other issues of concern to those in the LDS dating community (please learn more now at www.dr-rg.com/lds; email me questions to drgilchrist@yahoo.com).